Wandering for Beauty: Leaving the Wolf Who Doesn't Love Me

During my post-abortion checkup, a fire broke out in the hospital. I was so frightened that I instinctively reached out for Dominic ——my mate and the Alpha of the Moon pack, only to realize he wasn't there.

It turned out that my mate’s immediate reaction was to rush to the next ward where his childhood friend, Courtney Hamilton, was being treated.

That had become a familiar pattern lately, so I was used to it. Initially, I felt a sting of abandonment, but over time, I stopped caring.

It had happened since a week ago, when Courtney came back to the Moonriver Pack after having a big fight with her husband because he was caught cheating behind her back. 

What was more, she had already had a four years-old son from the marriage, so my husband started caring more about her than I started from that day.

Every time Courtney needed his help, he always wanted to help even though he still had a lot of work to do in the office. After all, he was an Alpha of the Mooriver Pack.

Then that day, once again my husband, Alpha Dominic Callahan, chose his childhood friend more than his own mate.

I thought after getting miscarriage a few days ago, he would care more about my safety, but it turned out my expectation was too high. Fortunately, the doctor and the nurses helped me out of the fire area.

However, my wolf couldn’t help shouting in frustration when she saw his mate carrying Courtney not far beside me without feeling guilty.

“Let’s get divorce!”

But then I came to my senses and urged her to calm down, because there was no point in being angry at that time, after all everything had passed and I was also safe.

“Please don’t misunderstand us, Lucinda. Dom came to me first because I had sprained my ankle yesterday, what’s more I have gastritis,” Courtney said when she saw me coming.

After taking a breath, I answered in a calm tone, “Yeah, I understand. I am fine and healthy so that I can run by myself.”

“Dom, you should apologize too. Even if you are in a hurry, you should prioritize her first,” Courtney said while punching his shoulder lightly.

So, Dominic asked in the end, “Sorry, Lucinda. Are you okay?”

It was actually the first time he apologized first after getting together for three years. But I didn’t know why I felt embarrassed.

Did he really need Courtney to urge him to apologize? Couldn't he do it on his own?

I couldn’t help but answer shortly, “I am good.”

Fortunately, the fire was quickly handled, so only part of the ER area was affected.

Soon, the patients were asked to return to the ward.

Dominic said he would take Courtney back to her room and accompanied her for a while, so I immediately said that I wanted to go back home first.

On the way home, I opened one of social media, X, and saw Courtney posted a photo with the caption that read, “Thank you for saving me. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you, my Alpha.”

Then, as if not satisfied, she also uploaded a photo on WhatsApp which showed a little of my husband's shoulder.

A week ago, I felt betrayed and confronted him. But then, it seemed like just another exhausting task, another obstacle in a race I no longer wanted to win.

Even when I knew Dominic chose to stay at the hospital, a surprising sense of detachment came over me. I suddenly realized that his presence or absence barely affected my emotions anymore. I didn't feel as sad when he wasn't around.

Perhaps, it happened because I started to know the truth that I was just a replacement. Then the subsequent miscarriage was likely a sign that having a child with Dominic wouldn't be good for either me or the baby.

***

At home, I prepared dinner as always. But even after the sun had set and day turned into night, there was no sign of Dominic returning.

Suddenly, my mobile rang. A message came from my husband.

[Dominic: Sorry, I have to accompany Courtney tonight.]

I did not answer nor questioned him more about it, I only ate the dinner in silence.

On the next day, when I ate my breakfast, I happened to see Courtney X's post again.

It was a photo of her with a candy apple in the familiar front passenger seat of Dominic's car. The caption read, “Thanks for the candy apples, my Alpha.”

My fingers hovered motionless over the screen. 

I didn’t have any appetite anymore and went to my room to continue my part-time work as a graphic designer.

I used to be so busy with my job. But when I knew that I was pregnant, I just accepted one client for a week. 

However, that day, I decided to accept as many as I could to distract my wolf who seemed disturbed by Courtney’s post.

But not long after, the study was opened and my husband kissed my check as if nothing happened, which made my wolf calm for a moment.

“Lucinda, Courtney invited us to dinner. She said she wanted to thank me for saving her and thank you for letting me take care of her last night, would you come?” Dominic asked.

Before I could answer, my wolf had answered in my mind first, “Why did he say her name again? Reject it, Lucinda!”

However, I refused to follow her and answered, “Sure, why not?”

Because of that, my wolf seemed to hate me, but then I had an idea to satisfy her. I continued, “But I haven't taken a shower yet.”

“How about taking a bath together, my Luna?”

I didn’t expect Dominic would respond that way, but it satisfied our wolf really well, so I just followed the rhythm and let my wolf take over.

***

When we got to the restaurant, Lucinda had been waiting inside. But then I noticed the table set for two. Should I not come then?