Until I Disappear

“Miss Green, the results show that you have late-stage pancreatic cancer. The situation isn’t good for you. If you give up on treatment, you might have less than a month left. Are you sure you don’t want to receive treatment? Will your husband agree to it?”

“I’m sure that… he will.”

After I hung up, I surveyed the empty house and felt sadness fill every fiber of my heart.

I had thought that the pain I felt was due to my dear old friend, gastritis, but it was cancer.

I sighed and looked at the picture on the table.

The eighteen-year-old Zach Stone stared at me in the photo.

It had been years since, but I still remembered how the snow had fallen on my hair. At that time, Zach had smiled and asked whether this counted as us growing old together.

The happiness I once experienced made my mind wander.

I grew up with Zach, and we started dating when we were eighteen.

After we graduated from university, I moved into a basement with him and went through all sorts of hardships with him. I also watched him as he grew his company.

Later on, he gave me an expensive house and a car.

Since I loved dressing up, he also bought me the latest clothing lines from major brands and had them sent directly to our house.

I loved traveling too, so he often took time to travel with me.

Whenever our anniversaries rolled by, he would always prepare surprises for me.

When he learned that I was infertile, he even blamed himself for it.

Everyone had said that Zach loved me dearly.

However, that same man formed another family with his female secretary seven years after we got married.

He gave Monette Nelson, his secretary, a villa as their “love nest.”

In the past, Zach would always come home to me. But as time passed, he started staying out overnight.

He started treating Monette better, and his attitude toward me worsened.

I felt as if he would always frown whenever he saw me.

No longer wanting to think about this, I took a deep breath and started collecting the broken shards on the floor.

Zach had shattered a plate when I argued with him a few days ago.

It was our wedding anniversary that day, and I waited for him at home after I finished making dinner.

He had promised to come back right after work, but he only returned home at 2 a.m.

He had gone to keep Monette company again.

We argued fiercely, and Zach said something that made me give up on him completely.

“I need a child, Ninian.”

I ran away in a panic because I did not have the courage to listen to what else he had to say. Zach did not run after me either.

After staying at my old place for a week, I went to the hospital for a checkup because my stomach hurt too much.

As I stared at the dust on the floor, I knew that Zach had not come home for a few days.

While I continued picking up the shards, the medical report fell out of my pocket.

I stared at the paper and stopped moving.

Should I tell him?

Would he be sad if he learned that I was going to die?

I teared up, but I laughed at my thoughts.

He was no longer the same Zach I once knew. This Zach would probably just tell me that I deserved it.

With another deep breath, I continued collecting the shards.

Suddenly, the dark house became bright; someone had turned on the lights.

I squinted as I looked toward the door. Zach was standing there, and I saw a lipstick stain on his white collar.

As he stared at me, he raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

“Are you done with your tantrum?”

I just quietly stuffed the medical report back in my pocket.

Since I had not expected him to come back, I had gotten startled and accidentally cut myself.

I ran into the kitchen to wash the cut with cold water.

“Is this a new trick? Are you hurting yourself now? It seems I’ve really spoiled you, Ninian.”

Even though I no longer held any hope for him, his words still hurt me.

After all, Zach would never have spoken to me like that in the past.

He knew that I lacked a sense of security. Whenever we argued, he would patiently try to calm me down.

Sometimes, I would even run away from home, but he would never be frustrated by it. He would be able to find me every single time.

I would ask him why he was not angry, and he would always say, “I want to spoil you so that you’ll never leave my side.”

He would always give me the same answer over the past decade.

However, everything changed after Monette showed up.

I turned off the tap and took out the first aid kit to bandage my wound.

When I said nothing, Zach spoke gently. “Stop throwing a tantrum already, Ninian. I’m just putting up an act with Monette.

“Besides, all the other company presidents do this, and they still get along with their wives.

“After she gives birth, I’ll send her to another country—”

Just then, Zach’s phone rang. He cast a glance at it before heading into the living room.

“Mr. Stone, where are you? I’m so scared of being alone. Could you come here soon?”

I heard the delicate voice of a female. It was Monette.

Zach comforted her gently and gingerly. It was as if he were treating a valuable, fragile piece of treasure.

I said nothing. Once I dressed my wound, I continued putting away the food that had been on the table for a few days.

After Zach hung up, he started to leave.

“Zach,” I called out.

“What is it now?” He was really impatient. “Monette got sick today, and I have to go over. Stop being unreasonable.”

“Let’s get a divorce.”

“Have you lost your mind, Ninian?!” Zach scowled at me. “You cut yourself, and now, you’re asking for a divorce. What’s next? Are you going to die?”

“What if I told you that I was really about to die?” I asked softly, but he had already shut the door.

The large house sank into silence once again after the slam of the door faded away.

Pain traveled from my stomach through my entire body, and I quickly popped a painkiller into my mouth.

It hurt so much.

I wanted to tell Zach that I was truly going to die soon.

With trembling hands, I called him, but all I got was the busy ringtone.

I had been blocked.

I laughed and looked at the calendar on the wall. “Zach, this is the first day of our eternal parting.”