The Mother Who Sabotaged My Future for 20 Years,Now She's Begging Me to Forgive Her

The day I passed the federal civil service exam and finally landed the job, my mother walked the background-check team straight through our front door.

"Government's so generous these days," she said sweetly. "Her father killed a man, and she can still become a federal employee."

The tea canister slipped from my hands and shattered. "Mom, what are you talking about?"

She sighed and patted the back of my hand.

"Don't you worry. Your father's crimes aren't your fault."

"Besides, even if you used to steal and sneak around as a kid, and sleep around so much you had more than ten abortions, the agency will still give you a chance to turn your life around, as long as you own up to it."

Every member of the background-check team went stone-faced.

My mother clapped a hand over her mouth and shrank her neck in mock terror.

"Silvia, don't be angry. Mommy's just not used to lying, so it slipped out. Once they leave, you can hit me, all right? I promise I won't fight back."

The team shifted to shield her behind them, watching me with grave expressions.

"Silvia Henson, is any of this true, what your mother is saying?"

I looked past the cluster of people.

I found my mother tucked behind them, smiling that innocent, smug little smile, and I nodded, calm as still water.

I only hoped she'd still be smiling this brightly once the investigation was over.

——

The team leader, Paddy Lambert, pulled my file from his bag and read it through, twice over.

"Silvia, your file says your father was a long-haul truck driver before he passed."

"I'd like an honest answer. Was he a murderer?"

Before I could open my mouth, my mother jumped in ahead of me.

"If my husband hadn't crashed that truck, my little brother wouldn't have died for nothing."

"So yes. He was a murderer."

Paddy shot her a hard look.

"That's nonsense. An accident is an accident. You don't get to slap a label like that on someone."

"You're this girl's own mother. Watch what you say, and stand behind it."

My mother muttered under her breath.

"A living, breathing person died, and it was my husband who got him kill—"

Paddy cut her off, his patience gone.

"Silvia ranked first in both the written exam and the interview. Every record we have shows she's a model student in academics and character."

"This concerns her background check. I'll ask you not to throw around wild accusations."

My mother gave him a sheepish little glance.

"Director Lambert, I'm not throwing around anything."

"Silvia here, she's got one fine quality, that brain of hers. Sharp as a tack. You never catch her studying, but she comes in first in her whole class, every single time."

"And you know how it is. A student who tests well, every teacher coddles her, spoils her rotten."

She was only half right. The top of the class part was true.

But I'd earned it through brutal, grinding effort.

To stop me from studying, she'd ripped out every wire in my room.

Every night, after she'd fallen asleep, I'd hide under the blanket and study by flashlight.

It actually trained my memory to be lightning quick. A blessing buried in the curse, I suppose.

Her gaze flicked toward me, casual on the surface.

She was watching to see exactly when she'd finally drive me over the edge.

But I only poured a calm cup of tea for every member of the team.

When she saw I wasn't reacting at all, her eyes rolled around and she fell back on the same old tricks.

"Every teacher she's ever had treated her wonderfully. So wonderfully it shamed me, her own mother."

"She stole money from classmates, skipped class to brawl, ran around with boys, lost more than one pregnancy, and it was always the teachers cleaning up her messes."

"Pretty face, so they always picked her as the school's poster girl. When a school wants to package a student, of course they only say the flattering things."

Paddy slammed the file down on the table, furious.

"This is absolute nonsense!"

My mother's hand froze around her cup, and the tea sloshed all over the table.

She scrubbed at the surface with her palm, flustered and panicked.

"I'm so sorry. Did I say something wrong?"