"If anything I say turns out to be wrong, please don't hold it against her."
"I just thought, since she's going into public service, all of this would come out eventually. Better it comes from my own mouth. At least that way she'll keep some semblance of an honest name."
Paddy Lambert turned to me, his face dark as a storm.
"Silvia Henson. Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"
It wasn't that I'd never tried to explain.
Every time, I'd explained until I was hoarse, and every time it only made my mother dig in harder, her lies spiraling further into the absurd.
And yet, no matter how outrageous the story, not one person ever doubted her.
In their eyes, she was my own mother. Surely a mother wouldn't slander her own child.
Just like now. Every gaze in the room pinned me with contempt, as if they wanted to bore holes straight through me.
A heart torn open enough times eventually goes numb.
I pulled over a chair and sat down, unhurried.
No hysterics, the way there used to be. No tearful, frantic denials.
I simply said, calm and even, "My mother is right. I hope you'll look into it thoroughly."
The rest of the background-investigation team had heard enough. They shot to their feet.
"Director Lambert, let's go. There's nothing left to investigate."
"Silvia Henson is morally corrupt. She fails the background check, and she's likely falsified her materials on top of it. We should hand her over to the proper authorities for a full inquiry."
The moment my mother heard the word fails, a flicker of triumph passed through her eyes, almost too faint to catch.
That expression. I knew it far too well.
The day I went to give a speech as the city's outstanding-student representative, she stormed the venue, screaming that I'd stolen money from home.
The night before my SATs, she offered to help me pack my supplies, then tore up my admission ticket like it was scrap paper.
When recruiters from the top universities came to our house, she swore up and down that I looked down on those "garbage schools," until the recruiters turned on their heels and left, furious.
…
Every single time, she wore that same face.
Smug satisfaction laced with the dark thrill of a plot gone exactly as planned.
I could never make sense of it.
She was the person closest to me in the world.
Why, after my father died, would she stop at nothing to destroy me?
Paddy gave my mother a long, pointed look, then said to me, "Silvia Henson, today's review ends here. We'll continue our investigation afterward."
"Rest assured, this is a serious matter. We need evidence. Empty words count for nothing. We'll be back within two days at the most."
I let out a small breath.
So Paddy wasn't like the others. He wouldn't simply take my mother's word and run with it.
This was a gamble, and I'd bet right.
I nodded at Paddy, and he rose, leading the others toward the door.
That was when my mother dropped to her knees with a thud.
"Everything I just said was a lie! I was trying to ruin her on purpose. I'm not even human!"
"My Silvia is the best of girls, the cleanest soul there is. She's never done a single wrong thing in her whole life. It's all my fault, my poisonous black heart. You can't just leave like this."
"I take it all back. I'm begging you, come back and start the review over. Please, don't let this ruin her future."
Tears and snot smeared across her face, her voice cracking and shot through with panic.
"Silvia, Mommy was confused. Forgive Mommy. I'll never run my mouth again."
"Mommy will lock herself away tonight as punishment. Please don't be angry. I'll go kneel right now to atone…"
And all the while, she stole glances to see whether the team had gotten far enough away.
I looked at my mother, and the place where my heart should have been was hollow.
Like something had been carved straight out of me, flesh and blood shredded to nothing.
This was her, always.
She was the one who flung the filth onto me, then turned around and played the innocent, and somehow that only made my supposed disgrace all the more believable.
I felt drained of every ounce of strength. My face blank, I said, "Mom, get up. Everyone's already gone."
