They wrapped my body in oilcloth and carried it back to the Family, to the old social club on the edge of Falcone territory where the dead are counted and no priest is ever called.
"She'll be hard to name. Blood-confirmation could take days," Emilio said. He set his instruments down in perfect parallel along the steel, then paused over what was left of me, longer than a man should. When he finally spoke his voice was flat and careful, the voice of someone who has learned that the truth of the body is safer said slowly.
The Donna nodded once. She peeled off her leather gloves finger by finger after the fruitless search had turned up nothing, then folded them against her palm and turned back toward the men who waited on her word. Even now, even like this, they parted for her the way water parts for a blade.
Nico looked at the ruin where my face had been and something in his throat worked. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Donna, whoever's blood this is, her people are grieving somewhere tonight. We have to find the animal who did this to her. We owe her that much." He kept going, one sentence past where he should have stopped, as if more words could soften the sight of me on the table. "But Donna, with you running the hunt, I'd bet the reckoning comes fast. It always does with you."
My mother kept her face still as poured concrete. She had heard men flatter her since before I was born, and she wore it the way she wore the black gloves, as a thing she put on and took off at will. She only told Nico to move faster, to pull the files on the out-of-town jobs that carried the same signature, the same method, the same clean cruelty.
I had known since I was small that my mother was a terror in this world, and a genius in it too.
For as long as memory went back, she was buried in the Family's business, in the sit-downs and the ledgers and the vendettas that had to be answered before the sun rose on them. Her name traveled the streets ahead of her like a cold front. They called her the finest mind the Falcones had produced in a generation, and they were not wrong.
Most of my childhood I watched her from a distance the way you'd watch a queen through glass. In her tailored black, with the old Don's ring on her hand, she looked so formidable that I loved her helplessly, the way you love something that has never once looked back at you.
When the frightened men of lesser houses came to her table she would say, calm as still water, "You are under my roof. Nothing touches you here. Trust the Family." And they believed her, because everyone believed her but me.
I wondered, Mother, what will you feel when the blood comes back and it spells my name?
Will you grieve me? I already knew the answer. Probably not.
I still remembered your hands at my throat, the ring biting into my skin, your beautiful face inches from mine as you hissed it. I wish it had been you who died. You said it and you meant it, and I have carried those words with me past death, because they turned out to be the only inheritance you ever gave me.
Now, deep in the small hours, Nico caught the weight sitting on my mother's shoulders and tried to lift the room a little. "Enough for tonight, Donna. Let us hold the line here. Go home. The girl's waiting on you. It's her day, isn't it."
The Donna's phone lit in her hand. A message. And a smile arrived, unbidden, softening the marble of her face in a way I had never once put there. She corrected him lightly, almost warm, as she gathered herself to go. "Not my daughter's day. My niece's. Serena's holding dinner for me. I shouldn't keep her waiting."
And she was gone, moving fast through the club's low light, out past the men who lowered their eyes as she passed.
Nico stood where she'd left him, turning it over. "So the niece is the one who brings meals down here sometimes," he said to no one, rubbing the back of his neck again. "Never once heard her mention a daughter. Funny, that."
I had wondered the same thing my whole life, standing in the cold shadow of a love that was always meant for someone else. And the cruelest part, the part I could not stop turning over now that I had nothing left but time, was this: I died before I ever found the answer. My hand rose to my throat, to the silver chain my father gave me, engraved with my initials, the one thing in the world that had ever been only mine.
There was no chain there anymore. There was no throat. But the hand rose anyway, reaching for a comfort that was already inside the body on Emilio's table, waiting in the dark to name me.
