1: 1
The SATs were over. My brother got into community college. My sister got into a low-tier college.
I was the only one in the family who made it into a top-tier university.
When the scores came out, my parents were so thrilled they announced in the family group chat that they'd send us all gift envelopes.
I opened mine. It was $6.66.
But I didn't think much of it. We weren't a well-off family, after all.
Not until the two of them posted to social media at the same time.
In the screenshots, the envelopes they'd each received were $666.
With a caption: 【A coming-of-age gift. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for your love.】
That was when it hit me. We weren't poor.
So I tried asking them.
【Mom, that envelope you and Dad sent last time, did you enter the wrong amount?】
My mother typed back, brushing me off.
【Did I? Wasn't it $6.66 for everyone?】
I didn't press any further.
I finally understood. In all those years of being told the family treated us equally, fair and even.
There had never been a place for me.
……
At first I kept wondering, was there something I'd done wrong?
Growing up, whatever my brother and sister had, I had too.
New clothes, a new backpack, new school supplies.
I'd always thought that was what fairness looked like.
But that $6.66 envelope.
It was like a needle, punching straight through the paper I'd never looked past.
That evening my summer job ended.
I took my wages and went out of my way to buy a full spread of food.
Fish, meat, over two hundred dollars' worth.
For me, that was already a serious expense.
When my parents got home and saw the table covered with dishes.
Their faces weren't pleased.
My father frowned. "Your paycheck's barely anything, and you go throwing it around like this."
My mother chimed in. "I can make all of this myself. If you want something, just tell me ahead of time."
Her words sounded like she was fretting over the money.
But in every memory I had, whenever she offered to cook.
It was always exactly when I wasn't there.
Either I was staying at my grandparents' on my father's side, or at my grandparents' on my mother's.
When I was home, she'd say she was too tired, that we'd just eat whatever.
To this day, I've never eaten a meal she made with her own hands.
I pushed the dishes toward the middle of the table.
"I got paid today, so I spent a little."
"It won't happen again."
They didn't say anything more. They picked up their chopsticks and ate.
At the table, my brother told funny stories about community college, my sister complained about the run-down dorms at her low-tier college.
My parents listened closely, putting in a word here and there.
It looked warm, almost.
I kept my head down and shoveled rice, only daring to reach for the plate of greens in front of me.
When I finally found an opening, I wanted to say something about my summer job.
Before I could get a word out, my sister suddenly put down her phone.
"Oh, right. In a couple of days the whole family's going to Bali."
"I've already mapped out the whole trip. Sights, restaurants, shopping, all of it."
She waved her phone, her face lit up with excitement.
My brother picked it up too, a note of pride in his voice.
"I'll handle the hotel. Already got it sorted."
"Once everyone arrives, there's private transport, meals and lodging all covered."
My parents praised them without holding back.
"You two really are the responsible ones."
"So capable. You make things easy to trust."
My hand, reaching for a dish, stopped in midair.
Bali.
A name I'd only ever seen in a geography textbook.
"Isn't that going abroad?"
"For a single day out there, wouldn't it be really expensive?"
The moment I said it, the laughter at the table cut off.
My sister rolled her eyes at me.
"Sis, could you not be such a killjoy?"
"We finally graduated. What's wrong with taking one good trip?"
"Besides, it's not even that expensive. Just ten thousand a day."
It came out before I could stop it. "Ten thousand a day? That's not expensive?!"
I couldn't accept that number.
We'd lived in a low-rent apartment my whole life.
Between the three of us, there'd only been two cloth curtains.
Our parents drilled it into us every single day.
Be frugal, watch every dollar, the family didn't have much.
And now they were telling me.
One trip, ten thousand a day?
My brother lounged back against his chair.
A smile at the corner of his mouth. "It's just a vacation. What's there to make a fuss about?"
I looked to my parents, hoping they'd say something.
But my father only took a bite of food.
"It's rare for the whole family to go somewhere together. Spending a little is nothing."
"Besides, didn't you just get paid? You could chip in a bit too."
The words came down like a bucket of cold water.
Right. I'd just collected two months of summer wages that very day.
All of it came to less than eight thousand.
Not even enough for a single day out there.
His tone was casual, like he was stating something obvious.
I didn't answer. I set my chopsticks down gently.
But since they'd already decided, there was nothing more for me to say.
That night, I dug out my suitcase.
My mother passed by and leaned in for a look.
"What are you doing?"
I was crouched on the floor, folding clothes.
"Aren't we going on the trip? I'm just packing my things early."
She frowned, standing in the doorway without coming in.
"The whole family can't go out at once. Somebody has to stay and watch the house."
"You can wait for next time."
Hearing that, I looked up at my mother, not understanding.
I thought I'd heard wrong.
Even my hands, folding the clothes, went still.
