"Your brother's done. Go wash the dishes."
It wasn't a request. It came out like a fact of nature, the way you'd state the obvious.
A sudden tiredness dragged through me. Even speaking felt like it took everything I had.
"I'm tired. Can't she wash them herself?"
Adam didn't even get a word out before Tessa jumped in. "When have you ever seen him wash a dish?"
I dropped my eyes and said nothing. I didn't move.
My mother's face soured with irritation. "How can you be this lazy? I have to ask you three or four times just to wash a few dishes."
Even my father, who normally watched family squabbles from the sidelines, stepped in. "Your mother slaves away cooking for all of you every single day and never once complains, and you can't even wash a few dishes without dragging your feet."
The moment his tone hardened, my mother rushed to smooth it over. "All right, now you've made your father angry. It's two or three dishes. Washing them won't kill you, and you've been lying around the house all day."
As she spoke, she kept winking at me, signaling me to just give in quickly, don't ruin the nice family mood.
I looked at the four of them standing across from me, all watching me.
In that moment they were family, united against the outside. And the outside was me.
Not one of them left me any room to argue. They just left their bowls on the table.
Then they gathered in the living room and launched happily into what to buy Adam and Tessa for the new school year.
One a college junior, one a high school junior. And me, a college freshman, had somehow become the least important person in the house.
I stepped up and started clearing the dishes. Cold tap water and scalding tears hit the back of my hands at the same time.
It took everything in me to force down the sour ache rising in my chest.
Outside the kitchen, they were still laughing and talking.
Adam wanted a new pair of sneakers. Tessa wanted a new tablet.
I heard my father say, awkwardly, "That's already ten thousand right there. I only budgeted ten thousand total for all three of you, for graduation gifts."
I heard my brother let out a disappointed "aw," and my mother answered almost without hesitation. "Nathan's got a summer job, doesn't he? He can buy his own."
I heard the living room go quiet for a long moment, and then my father agreed. "Fine. We'll make it up to him next semester."
But what my father didn't know was that for as long as I could remember, I had never once gotten a start-of-school gift.
Because my gift was always coming next semester.
And I'd long since gotten used to it, the school gift that would never arrive. When I argued about it too much, my parents would say I was too petty, keeping score over every little thing.
I didn't rush out to fight with them. I set the dishes in the sterilizer, then opened my phone to check my balance.
Six thousand. Not a sum of money so much as the seed fund for getting out of this family.
I dried my hands and walked out of the kitchen, and my mother looked up and met my eyes.
I didn't look away. I looked straight at her and asked, "Mom, can you save me some food tomorrow?"
My palms clenched tight. I'd braced for a refusal, or some scolding out of nowhere.
But I hadn't expected her to laugh softly, the way you'd look at a child making a fuss over nothing. "Don't I save you food every day?"
"I mean save it the way you did today."
Her smile froze for a second, but she still nodded without hesitation and said all right.
The warmth I'd already written off put down roots in my chest again and started to grow.
Maybe my mother just wasn't careful enough. This month I'd needed her to save me food so often, and she just hadn't noticed the details.
That was how I comforted myself, and it carried into the next day at my summer job, my mood a good deal lighter.
I had a smile tugging at my mouth all day long. The guys I worked with teased me, asking if I'd started dating someone.
The second the shift ended, I couldn't wait to hurry home.
Maybe it was because I ran the whole way, but my heart was practically pounding out of my chest.
I pressed down the excitement and opened the front door, rushing straight to the table without even a hello.
My mother watched me, amused. "I saved you food. You act like you're a starving soul come back from the dead."
But when I saw the table, my smile froze.
