Millicent's POV
'Do you love me?' Raph asked, and I could see how nervous he was. 'I want you to be my chosen mate!'
I had wanted to stop him asking me the question that led to that declaration but what could I have done short of pinning his lips?
'Why are you so quiet?' he asked. 'I know this may have been sudden but it can't have been that much of a surprise if you are aware of my feelings for you'.
'Raph', I said looking at him earnestly, hoping he would understand. 'I have indeed suspected that you might have special feelings for me, but I have prayed that I was wrong about that because I do not deserve you'.
'Oh, Millicent, how can you even think that?' he asked.
'I am a nobody. An orphan and I have nothing. What good could I possibly bring you or even be to you?' I asked, hoping to help him see reason why he should not have feelings for me.
'I do not need anything from you but your love', he said looking deeply into my eyes, his heart in his own.
'Exactly!' I blurted. 'I do not love you. Not that way. And I cannot marry you when I know that I do not reciprocate your feelings for me. It will be unfair', my eyes pleading for understanding.
There was pain in his eyes and he looked down. 'So, you do not love me', he said, ' but that does not mean you despise me. We can build on what we already have and it will grow, I know it will', he said earnestly, holding my hands.
'And what happens when your destined mate comes along?' I asked.
Raph hesitated and I drove home my point.
'You might think that you love me but when your fated mate makes her appearance, the mate bond will make you forget about me. Please wait for her', I advised.
'I have not met my fated mate but I have met you and I love you and that is enough for me', he said. 'Is it not possible that I might not want or love my fated mate? Have you not seen such things happen?'
I had to agree with him. Take my situation as a case study. But I was not about to back down nor allow him know the mate I was cursed with.
'You are still young, Raph. Eighteen, nineteen or twenty at most. You will meet her some day and you shall thank me for not accepting to be your chosen mate!' I assured him confidently.
'You sound so sure of that!' he said, looking downcast.
'I am!'
'What if you are my fated mate?' he asked hopefully.
'If I were, you will know. We both will know it but I am not and we both know it', I said.
'And you will not change your mine or at least give us a chance?' he asked hopefully.
'No', I said. 'I do not want to dash your hopes. It will not be right to give you false hope when I know my answer will not change'. Then shutting my eyes, and opening it again, I said, 'Please, Raph, I do not want this discussion to change anything between us. I do not want us to cease to be friends. I value our friendship greatly'.
'You have my word on that', he said smiling wistfully with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
After that time, I tried all I could to make it up to him but I caught him sometimes looking longingly at me and it made me uncomfortable. I started contemplating going away but I was too attached to the little boys, especially Hugh and kept postponing my departure.
Raph fell ill all of a sudden.He was shivering and running temperature. I recalled once when I had similar symptoms in Moon Ville under Alpha Sylvester and how the medical personnel had treated me.
I gave him herbs that helped calm the pains in his joints, and eyes. I would spoon - feed him the herbs I made into a soup. I would scoop it into his quivering cracked lips. And he would sleep afterwards and I would dab his body with a wet towel till his body would cool and she would allow him to sleep while I go off to do other chores. And Mildred would come and stay with him.
'With the way you care for him, there is no need to call for a doctor. You really have a talent for healing', Mildred said, when she saw the way I took care of her nephew.
I smiled but said nothing.
The news of his ill health had been reported to Alpha Blake and he was given time off work to recuperate.
On the second day, the fever got worse and he started hallucinating and blabbing about his love for me.
It saddened me that he should be suffering this way. I had suspected that it might be my rejection that had brought on the fever but I could not be sure but speaking of his love for me in his feverish and unconscious state only confirmed to me that it would not be easy for him to get over me. I wished I could give him what he wanted but I couldn't. My life was already twisted and I have a mission to accomplish.
And I cared for him. I did all she could till his fever broke. This was the third day but he remained weak. His eyes red and swollen. Mildred was running scared. She sent for the doctor.
'What did you give him?' he asked after examining him.
'I got some herbs and made it for him', I replied, telling him the name of the herb.
'That's a powerful herb', he said. 'How did you know of it?'
'I was ill once and the medical personal attending me, made me the same herb and though it is very bitter, it helped restore my health', I replied.
'It is good that you used the herb on him, else his fever would have been far worse!' he noted and prescribed some drugs.
Mildred got the drugs and I would take Raph out for fresh air, walk with him and when we got back he would sleep after taking more of the herbs and eating. He slept at the slightest exertion.
'You are really good for me Millicent', he said one day as they took their regular walk. 'I wish you could be mine in the real sense'.
I did not want us to go through that again.
'And you are a strong warrior. You can withstand anything life throws your way and come out of it even stronger than you were', I smiled at him. He looked at me and returned my smile.
'I am fortunate to have a great friend like you', he said. 'You are going to be very great one day', he prophesied.
I prayed that his prophesy come true but I just smiled, 'Get well soon so that you can continue training me so I can really be great', I said jokingly.
'You already know all there is to know about combat. Have you forgotten how you beat me the last time?' he asked.
'But that was because you were not paying attention', I said.
'That was not it and even if it is, it is one of the rules not to allow anything distract you right?'
I nodded.
'See?' he said triumphantly. 'You did not forget the rules but I did. Now you are as good as I am or even better!'
I did not know about that but knew I was stronger and more experienced at combat than I was formerly. 'We'd better start getting back, so you can relax'.
'Don't treat me like an invalid!' he complained.
'And what are you?' I jested. 'If you do not like being treated as an invalid, get strong soon. I like you better that way!'
I felt movement from the corner of my eye. 'Who's there?' I asked but here was no answer. I peered into the bush but no stirring.
'What is it?' Raph asked.
'I thought I saw something but I was obviously wrong. Or it might be that I saw the movement of the leaves by the wind', I said, not wanting to trouble him unnecessarily.
He nodded and I could see he was tired. Though I would have loved to investigate the matter further, see if I would see whoever had been spying on us, because I feel strongly that someone had been there watching us, I said, 'Let's go home'. And I forgot that incident but something happened not long afterwards to remind me of it.
