The spring recruiting season was about to begin.
My advisor called me into her office alone.
"Meryl,your grades here are excellent,and you've won several national-level awards."
"There's a major Silicon Valley tech company recruiting from top universities right now.They only have one internship slot."
"I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to take it.If you don't,the opportunity will have to go to someone else."
She'd asked me the same thing two months ago.
Back then I'd kept hesitating.
Because Ellie had said she couldn't bear for me to go somewhere so far away,that she'd miss me if she couldn't see me.
And back then I'd actually believed her.
I thought that as long as I stayed,the three of us could go on the way we always had.
But now I finally understood.People and relationships that weren't worth it shouldn't be the thing tripping up my life.
I looked at my advisor and said,meaning every word:
"I'll take it."
She smiled and nodded,told me I was talented and hardworking and would carve out my own space at a company like that.
I thanked her and walked out of the office.
My ankle still ached faintly,but something in my chest loosened all at once.
Like a stone that had pressed there for a long time,finally shifted at one corner.
When I got back to the dorm,the door wasn't fully shut.
I'd just reached it when I heard Ellie and Valentine playing games inside.
"Dude,penta kill!"
Valentine's voice was as excited as a kid's.
"I seriously love you,Ellie,your teamwork today was unreal!"
Ellie was smug.
"You'd better thank your daddy for that."
"Thank you,honored father,for your great kindness.Your child will bring you breakfast tomorrow!"
Ellie was laughing,delighted.
Valentine was laughing too.
"It'd be great if Mer could play games like you."
"All she does all day is study.She's dull as a post."
Standing outside the door,I suddenly didn't even have the strength to push it open.
So while I'd been trapped on that mountain,hurting too much to stand,soaked in the rain,they could carry on like this without a care.
So all my hurt was,to them,nothing but me making a fuss.
I pushed the door open.
The laughter in the room cut off at once.
Ellie saw me and immediately lifted a bright smile,pressing a gift bag into my hands.
"Mer,you're back.Aunt Elena Swanson was traveling abroad and brought us presents."
Just then my phone lit up with a message from Valentine.
【Surprise,Mer,getting a present when it isn't even a holiday.Aren't you surprised?】
I looked down at the bag in my hands.
Inside were a few makeup samples and some cheap souvenirs.
And on Ellie's bed sat a limited-edition designer bag.
The exact style she'd been going on about for ages,the one she'd never been able to get because it was sold out here.
The whole scene in front of me suddenly struck me as absurd.
His mother remembered what Ellie liked.
He remembered what Ellie liked.
Only everything about me could always be forgotten,always brushed off.
I didn't reply to Valentine.I just set the gift bag on the desk and started sorting through my internship paperwork.
Right then a message came in from my advisor:
【The internship starts next month,so you can get a head start on preparing.】
I replied:
【Okay.】
Typing that one word,I felt calmer than I ever had.
At last,I was leaving this place.
I wouldn't have to trail after them anymore,the one who always got left behind.
I remembered how close the three of us had been back in high school.
Back then,Valentine had eyes only for me.
Ellie and I were in the same class,and Valentine was in the one next door.
The first time he saw me,he was drawn to me.
Every week Valentine and I would write letters to each other in a shared journal.
Because I spent so much time with him,Ellie even got jealous and accused me of ditching my friends the moment a boy came along.
I pretended to be angry and tugged her ear.
"Hmph,say that again and I won't tutor you tomorrow."
Ellie hurried to coax me,flustered.
"No,no,no,my dearest bestie!"
"Without you,who's going to save a hopeless math idiot like me?"
After that,so Ellie wouldn't feel left out,the three of us were always together,inseparable.
I thought I'd never leave the two of them for the rest of my life.
And now,that bond had long since rotted.
It was time to let go.
That night,I messaged Valentine.
【Come out for a minute.There's something I need to tell you.】
A long while passed before he replied.
【Whatever it is,tell me tomorrow.】
【Ellie says she wants shrimp right now,so we've got to hurry or the restaurant will close.】
I almost laughed.Not out of anger.There was simply nothing left to hope for.
I took a deep breath and calmly opened his chat window.
【Don't bother coming out.I was going to tell you in person,but now I don't see the point.】
【Let's break up.】
