My Iceberg Husband Was Actually an Incubus

Three years of contract marriage, and Silas has been the picture of icy restraint — buttoning his shirts all the way to the top.

Knowing he doesn't love me, I decide to stop lying to myself.

But just as I'm about to flee with the divorce papers, I stumble upon a forum called Mischief & Mayhem.

The pinned post screams in red letters:

"URGENT! I'm actually an incubus. I've spent three years pretending to be cold and celibate so I won't scare my wife. But she just asked for a divorce and I can't hide it anymore... HELP: How do I win her back in 30 days without revealing what I am?"

In the attached photo, a black heart-tipped tail is shamefully coiled around a suit trouser leg, its tip hooked around a tie.

That tie — I bolt upright in bed.

That's the limited-edition tie I gave Silas.

My iceberg husband is secretly a lovesick male incubus?

"Divorce papers. Sign here."

Three years of contract marriage, and I'd spent every one of them lusting after Silas's body, manufacturing every excuse to get close.

But he always pushed me away — cold, composed, without so much as a finger brushing mine.

Finally, I couldn't take the loneliness anymore and handed him the divorce papers.

"Alright."

His reply was perfectly calm.

He took the papers the way he'd take any inconsequential contract.

"Want to know why?" I asked, testing the waters.

"Since you've already decided, I respect your choice."

He adjusted his gold-rimmed glasses, hooked a finger around the pen, and signed the papers without even glancing at the contents.

Holding those signed documents, I felt none of the giddy relief I'd expected.

Instead, his consistent indifference left a dull ache in my chest.

I'd just flopped face-first onto the bed when my phone buzzed — a push notification for some forum called Mischief & Mayhem.

Mischief & Mayhem? Who names a forum like that?

Curiosity got the better of me. I tapped in.

The first thing I saw was a massive, red-lettered help post pinned to the top:

"URGENT! I'm actually an incubus. I've been terrified of scaring my wife with my true form, so I've spent our entire three-year marriage pretending to be cold and celibate. But she just asked for a divorce and I can't hide it anymore... HELP: How do I win her back within 30 days without revealing what I am?"

Intrigued, I dove in.

"HELP! I'm an incubus. I'm so afraid my wife will find out what I am and be disgusted that I've maintained this ice-cold persona our entire marriage. Three years, and I haven't even dared hold her hand — one wrong move, one moment of excitement, and my cover's blown."

"But today she asked for a divorce. I'm so drained I can't even keep my tail hidden anymore."

"Waiting online — does ANYONE know a way to make someone's heart soften instantly without exposing my identity?"

"Or any method to make her accept what I am would work too. [crying emoji]"

I stared at the word "incubus" on the screen, then re-read OP's pathetically humble tone, and snorted.

The lengths people went to for clout these days.

The comments section was even better.

"You're a MALE incubus? Didn't that species go extinct ages ago because they couldn't control their urges? I thought only female ones were left."

"Actually, male incubi are rare but they do exist. And the ones who survived are devoted to a fault — once they choose a mate, they're more loyal than a golden retriever."

That little fun fact sent the post rocketing to the forum's trending page.

OP furiously tagged the first commenter:

"YOU'RE the one who's extinct! I'm alive and well! But my wife really is going to divorce me. When I signed the papers just now, the way she looked at me was colder than ice. WHAT DO I DO?"

"Aww, a crybaby incubus! If you're an incubus, just go seduce her! That tail of yours isn't decoration, is it? Worst case, fake an illness and show your true form — beg for cuddles!"

"But I can't seduce her."

Followed by a sobbing emoji.

"What do you mean you 'can't'? Elaborate..."

"So, you guys know about the incubus mark, right? Every time I get close to my wife, I get so nervous I can barely walk straight, and the mark starts burning. Then there's a chance my tail will force itself out."

"I'm terrified that if my tail appears, she'll think I'm a monster and throw me out."

"We have a contract marriage. She has no feelings for me. But I genuinely love her. [sobs]"

The moment OP mentioned the incubus mark, the entire thread devolved into "WHERE'S THE MARK?" and "SHOW US THE MARK."

I was cackling into my phone.

OP tried frantically to delete the requests but couldn't keep up, eventually editing the original post to add: NO, YOU CANNOT SEE THE MARK.

"Are ANY of you actually going to help me?!"

Just then, a user called LoveGuru69 dropped a top-voted comment:

"Listen up, OP. Every high-level incubus knows: the collar is sacred."

"Try this — undo your top buttons, hold the collar chain out to her, bow your head, and say: 'My life is in your hands. Are you sure you want to let me go?'"

"Trust me. That kind of vulnerable, dangerously sexy submission? Nobody can say no to that."

The peanut gallery went wild:

"GENIUS move! I need to see this! OP, update NOW. I won't sleep until you do!"

OP seemed to hesitate for a long time before finally typing: "Does the collar thing really work?"

"I don't have a collar, but my wife just gave me a limited-edition tie today. I haven't taken it off yet. I'm willing to try with the tie..."

My eyes snagged on "limited-edition."

A chill crept down my spine.

I'd given Silas a tie today, too. Also limited-edition.

Was he wearing it right now?

Before I could think it through, a knock came at the bedroom door.

"Iris, are you asleep?"