The tides of the Tideveil Sea had already told me: my three years of mourning were over, and since I had never bound my heart to anyone on land, I would dissolve into foam at dawn.
Before long, the assistant came aboard to ask me down from the ship.
The car drove a long time before it reached the old Sanchez estate.
Asher Sanchez sat in the garden, the scent of cedar clinging to him.
I stood off to the side, awkward, trying to hide the briny smell of seawater all over me.
Merfolk live on the water by nature, while Asher stayed at the old estate to look after Emily Delgado in his elder brother's place.
So we hardly ever saw each other.
He looked at me, his voice tender and pained.
"Mari, why won't you go out to sea with me?"
"You weren't like this before. Is it because I've gone so long without my memory? Are you angry with me?"
There wasn't a single ripple in his eyes.
I didn't lift my head either.
Asher sighed and took my hand.
"Mari, you're sulking again, aren't you?"
"I don't want to put you through it either, but the shipping magnate's wife has to go out to sea sometime. Emily's health is poor, and she can't do without me. Mari, I need you."
"I may have lost my memory, but I know you'll always help me. Right?"
My mother once told me: the colder a human's heart, the better they perform.
My palm curled in his, but I didn't expose him. "I'm not going."
"Asher, I'm going to die."
His brow twitched, then he rose and pulled me tight against him.
"Mari, you're only sick."
"It's nothing more than prenatal depression. Once this voyage is over, I'll take you to Bayport to find the best therapist there is."
"But…" He let go of me. "Emily's condition is more serious. The doctor said she can't be exposed to the wind. And she's about to give birth."
I lowered my eyes to the cracked, chapped skin on my hands.
He remembered that Emily was delicate and precious, that she couldn't bear the wind and brine of the open sea.
Yet he had forgotten that I, too, was once the cherished, doted-on princess of the Merfolk Clan.
Three years ago, he was dragged to the bottom of the sea by the wind and waves.
It was I who hauled him along, swimming inch by inch to a deserted island,
who tended him without rest for half a month.
I still remember that in my most hopeless moment, he had run to me, his eyes full of light.
He said, Mari, marry me, and I swear I'll never let you suffer.
And now?
He remembered Emily's due date down to the day, but the handmade balm he had promised to make me had been forgotten without a second thought.
I once believed he was different from Bradley.
Only now did I understand.
Neither of them loved enough. That was all. So one could hand me off like an object,
and the other weighed and compared, back and forth.
"Asher."
"I told you, didn't I? In the Tideveil Sea, there's a legend that if a mermaid can't marry the first person she sees after coming ashore, she'll dissolve into foam."
He froze for a moment, then frowned.
"Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden?"
"Mari, I know you want to get married. But I can't recall my love for you, so how can I marry you?"
He still thought I was pressuring him into a wedding.
So I gave up. "Fine. I understand."
"Mari. Don't be like this."
His voice dropped low, his expression grim.
"Emily just fell asleep. I don't want to fight with you. I swear, this is the last voyage. After this I'll never let you suffer again…"
Before he could finish, the sound of shattering glass came from upstairs.
His face changed, and he rushed up the stairs.
The assistant took me back to the ship, and I shut the door.
I burrowed under the covers and wrapped myself up tight.
Looking at my fingers, paler and more translucent by the moment, I gritted my teeth and tore out the sharpest scale from over my heart.
I touched my slightly rounded belly.
"I'm sorry. But Mommy can't be here to watch you grow up."
Blood slid down between my fingers, soaking through the bedding.
