I’m Done With Being His Backup

"It's been a long time. I wonder how you've been. I'm getting married tomorrow, to the girl I mentioned to you before, the one I met through blind dating. I don't love her, but my family is pushing me too hard. You know I've always had feelings for you, and you're the one I want to spend my life with. It's a shame we were both too stubborn back then, neither of us willing to give in. If there's a next life, I'll definitely marry you."

When I saw this message, my whole body shook uncontrollably. The joy of my upcoming wedding was instantly doused, like cold water thrown in my face.

My heart felt as though it had been stabbed with a dagger, revealing a gaping, bloody hole. A cold wind swept through it, freezing my very blood.

I met Julian Frost through blind dating. When we first got together, he confessed to me about his ex-girlfriend.

I told him then, “You can have a past, but you can’t keep living in it.”

On our one-year anniversary, I once laughed and asked if he had truly moved on from the past. He said yes.

It was that confident, unwavering answer that made me open my heart to him.

But three years later, I found out his heart still carried traces of his ex? Even on the eve of our wedding, he couldn't help but put on a show of deep affection for her, expressing his heartfelt feelings.

It was truly disgusting.

I had once seen her on Julian’s computer, the ex-girlfriend he could never forget. She looked innocent, petite, with a beautiful smile.

They were each other's first love, together for three years, but they were forced to part ways because their paths in life diverged.

In my view on love, unless it’s death, every breakup is just another form of not loving someone anymore.

The message was sent ten minutes ago, but there’s still no reply. From the bathroom, I can hear the sound of water—Julian is taking a shower.

I hold his phone, sitting on the sofa, looking at him as he dries his hair in front of the mirror. Suddenly, I feel disgusted. The man I had poured my heart and soul into for so many years now feels utterly repulsive.

Love and honesty—he should’ve at least given me one, but he did neither.

When he lied to me so seriously, claiming he had let go of the past, did he ever feel guilty?

I don’t understand, but I guess he decided to marry me because we’re from similar backgrounds, we both enjoy cooking—those things probably made me seem like the ideal wife to him.

Julian finishes drying his hair and walks over. Seeing me lost in thought, he can't help but tease, "What are you doing here? Tomorrow’s the wedding. Shouldn’t you be putting on a face mask or something, taking care of yourself?"

I shake his phone, looking at him seriously. "Do you think we even need to get married?"

I'm tired. So tired.

During our first year of dating, Julian was completely indifferent towards me. No matter what I did, he never cared about my feelings. To him, my moods and temper were nothing more than irrational tantrums.

It took me three years to slowly mold him into the man he is now, but now, I don’t want him anymore.

Julian immediately realizes what I mean. His expression changes, and he strides over, snatching his phone out of my hands.

“You looked at my phone?”

His voice is harsh, filled with anger and accusation.