1: 1
The night the typhoon made landfall, I stood outside the office building for half an hour. The ride app still showed ninety-nine people in line ahead of me.
I hesitated a moment, then called my boyfriend.
"Could you swing by and pick me up on your way?"
"The rain's too heavy. I really can't get a ride."
Samuel James was quiet for two seconds, and when he spoke, his voice was calm to the point of coldness.
"You're right, it is on my way, but I can't come get you."
"If I help you today, then next time you hit trouble, you'll think you can always count on me to catch you."
"Aren't you always saying you're a modern, independent woman?"
"Then learn to solve your own problems."
The call ended right after.
Ten minutes later, his car drove past me. It didn't slow down at all.
Rain slammed against my phone screen just as Lavinia Swanson posted something new.
【All because I didn't feel like squeezing onto the subway, a certain someone drove halfway across the city to pick me up.】
【The feeling of always having someone to catch you. It's really nice.】
In the corner of the photo, a hand rested on the steering wheel.
The watch on that wrist was the one I'd bought Samuel with three months of saved salary.
A moment later, his message came through:
【You're not still standing there waiting for me, are you?】
I opened my email and accepted the company's invitation to the overseas assignment. Then I replied, calmly:
【Not waiting anymore.】
Not just tonight.
For the rest of my life, I would never wait for him again.
1
I switched subways twice, then walked more than twenty minutes in the rain. By the time I got home, I was soaked through.
Samuel froze for a second, then picked up a towel and dried my hair.
The familiar motion softened, for one instant, a heart I'd thought was already dead.
He poured me hot water, then took out his phone.
"I bought you an umbrella. It'll be delivered to your office tomorrow, so you don't keep forgetting to bring one."
I'd barely felt the first flicker of warmth when he added, offhand:
"Lavinia reminded me, actually."
"She said you always forget to check the weather. That way you won't get stuck at the office again next time."
So even this bit of late concern hadn't come from him at all.
I suddenly thought of a rainstorm back in college.
That day he'd crossed half the campus to come get me, tilting the umbrella toward me the whole way.
By the time we reached my dorm, not a single drop had touched me, but half of his body was already soaked.
Aching for him, I scolded him for coming out when there was no need.
Samuel just lowered his head and kissed my forehead.
"That you can get home on your own is your strength."
"But I can't stand to see you rained on. That's on me."
After that, whenever it rained, he'd be waiting outside my classroom building ahead of time.
Back then I never could have imagined that one day he would pass right by me and not stop for even a minute.
After graduation, Samuel started his own company. At the busiest times he slept only four or five hours a night.
I couldn't bear to make him run back and forth for me, so I always said with a smile, "I'm a modern, independent woman. I can get myself home."
He held me tight, guilty.
"Once the company's stable, I'll make up for all the time I owe you."
Later he had money, he had a car, and finally he had time too.
Except all that time went to Lavinia Swanson.
When someone was following me, he texted me the police number and told me to call it myself.
When Lavinia's phone died, he searched the mall for her for two hours.
When my stomach hurt in the middle of the night, he transferred me five hundred and told me to go to the hospital on my own.
When Lavinia was just scared of getting a shot, he canceled his meetings and spent a whole afternoon with her while she had her IV.
He said I was different from Lavinia. I was independent, I could handle things myself when something happened.
I used to think that was his way of respecting me.
Only now do I understand that this so-called independence was just his most convenient excuse whenever he didn't want to take care of me.
