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I brushed his hand away and asked, my voice flat,
"If you could drive halfway across the city for Lavinia, why couldn't you stop for one minute on your way?"
Samuel went still.
"You're still hung up on this?"
"You're the one who said you didn't need a man driving you around."
"So I did what you wanted, and now you're unhappy about it?"
I lifted my head and looked at him.
"Back then you'd just started your company. I didn't want to be a burden."
"So the fact that I was considerate then is now proof that I don't deserve to be taken care of? Is that it?"
The patience on his face thinned.
"Why do you always love making yourself out to be so pitiful?"
"You can't enjoy the reputation of an independent woman and expect a man at your beck and call at the same time."
"It just makes you look fake."
I stared at him.
So the words I'd once said to protect his pride,
had all turned into knives pointed at me now.
My throat began to itch.
I turned my head away and coughed a few times, cold washing through me in waves.
Samuel reached out and felt my forehead.
"You've got a bit of a fever."
He dug the fever pills out of the medicine box, set them on the table, then went to the bedroom and brought back a blanket.
"Take the pills first."
He said it so naturally.
As if the argument just now had never happened.
I looked at that box of pills, and my chest ached again, in spite of everything.
Maybe he did still have some feeling for me.
Maybe we'd just been together so long that he'd forgotten how to show it.
But before I could say anything, Samuel's phone rang.
Lavinia's voice came through the receiver, thick with tears.
"Samuel, the power just went out at my place. I'm scared."
Samuel stood up at once.
"Lock the door. I'm on my way."
He hung up and picked up the car keys he'd set down only minutes ago.
Wrapped in the blanket on the couch, I asked softly,
"I have a fever. You're not going to stay and take care of me?"
Samuel's steps paused for a moment.
"The pills are on the table."
"You know how many to take, and you can look after yourself."
"Lavinia's different. She's been afraid of thunder since she was little. She can't be alone."
Before he walked out, as if afraid I'd keep making a fuss, he softened his tone.
"You've always been stronger than her."
"Don't fight her over something like this."
The door closed in front of me.
All that was left in the apartment was the sound of the typhoon slamming against the glass.
I looked at the fever pills on the table, and suddenly I laughed.
Stronger than Lavinia. Where.
It was only that after every time I asked for help and got turned down, I'd had no choice but to force myself to learn to hold on.
My phone buzzed. The umbrella had shipped.
Right after it, the company's confirmation email for my transfer paperwork came through.
I opened my inbox, finished the last confirmation, and my flight was set for three days later.
Back then, when I said I could take care of myself, it was only because I couldn't bear to burden Samuel.
From now on,
I really didn't need him anymore.
