Benedict would say, "If you don't get it, don't force yourself to keep talking."
And Mila would smile and step in for me. "Dawnie's really trying. She's from a small town, after all. She wouldn't know these things."
Back then I was actually grateful to her.
Only now do I understand that every time she stepped in to save me, she was reminding everyone that I didn't belong to their world.
This time, I sent back a single word: "Okay."
I turned off the phone and went back to packing.
The suitcase was half full when the video call from my parents came through.
The screen lit up, and the first thing Mom did was frown.
"Why don't you have the lights on?"
I reached for the switch, and the room flooded with light, laying bare the mess of clothes and the suitcase in the frame.
Mom panicked at once.
"Dawnie, what are you doing? Did you and Benedict have a fight?"
Beside her, Dad set down his tea, his voice going gentle.
"Is it too much pressure? Don't bottle it up on your own. Whatever it is, tell your mom and me."
Seeing the state of me, Mom coaxed more carefully.
"Don't be scared. The wedding fund his family mentioned, your dad and I have been talking it over these past couple of days."
"If it really comes to it, we'll sell this house and put together what we can for you first."
"As long as he treats you well, we'll figure out the money somehow."
My nose stung, and the tears nearly spilled over.
I wiped the corners of my eyes and forced a smile.
"Dad, Mom."
"I've decided to come back home, to the state capital, and look for work."
When they heard it, they were quiet for a long time.
In the end they didn't ask anything. They just said it over and over.
"Coming home is good too."
"Your mom and dad have missed you for so long."
After the call ended, the room went quiet again.
I sat on the floor, staring at the suitcase I hadn't closed yet, drifting off, when my phone lit up again.
Mila had updated her social media feed.
The photo was dim, wine glasses and dice on the table.
She showed only half of her face in profile, smiling beautifully.
The wrist that had made it into the frame was hooked around her neck, holding her against him.
On that wrist was the birthday watch I'd bought with half a year of my internship pay.
It was Benedict's.
The caption read: 【*Study-abroad crew reunion, get over here.*】
Comments came in fast underneath.
"Is the out-of-town one coming?"
Mila replied with a head-shaking sticker.
The thread lit up instantly.
"Thank God. Every time she's around none of us can relax."
"The thing is, she doesn't get anything we say, and we still have to protect her feelings. So exhausting."
"A small-town grind getting to sit at our table, she really does try hard. But what's the point of trying? She's still just a country bumpkin."
I stared at those few lines for a long time.
And silently tapped Like.
I lowered my head and kept packing.
In the storage box at the very bottom of the closet were all the gifts Benedict had given me over the years.
I used to hate to use any of them, keeping every single one carefully, as if I were keeping his affection for me.
But now, digging them out one by one, I saw that most of them were cheap little trinkets.
An apron. He gave it to me for my birthday.
And that same month was Mila's birthday. He gave Mila an evening gown.
He'd said, "Of course a gift should be practical. An apron for you, so it's easy when you cook and do the dishes every day. Mila needs to go out, go to parties, so this dress suits her."
There was a pair of shoes too.
He said a friend had brought them back from overseas, and the packaging was beautiful. But I only found out later that they were knockoffs.
The real ones, he'd given to Mila.
