He Gave the Couple's Seat to His Childhood Sweetheart

On the day of our date, there were only three tickets left. Two seats together, and one alone in the back corner.

Benedict Barnes handed me the single ticket like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"It's an English-language film today. Your English isn't good, so you wouldn't follow it up front anyway."

"Sit in the back. That way, if you get bored, you can just slip out. Easier for you."

I'd lost count of how many times this had happened. A date meant for two, and I was the one left out.

They were both top students, admitted on early scholarships. They talked about studying abroad, IELTS scores, books in the original English, and even their parents had been friends for years.

I was just a small-town kid who was good at test prep, and I could never break into their world.

I wanted to walk through the night market and grab something to eat, and he said that kind of thing was pointless.

Instead he took me to a study-abroad info session, sat with Mila Swanson through an afternoon of lectures, and spent the whole day helping her pick schools.

Even today's movie. I'd begged him more than once. I wanted to see the new indie drama.

But at the theater, he chose the all-English historical film that Mila loved.

"Mila's English is good, so she can sit with me and we can talk through the plot together. You don't mind, right?"

He was already picking up the couple's combo as he said it, walking into the theater with Mila.

I dropped the back-row ticket into the trash.

This three-person movie date, I wasn't going.

And Benedict, I didn't want him anymore either.

……

By the time I got back to the rental, it was already dark.

I switched on a night lamp and started pulling my clothes out of the closet, one piece at a time.

The place was tiny, just one bedroom and a living room I'd turned into a storage dump, and the rent was frighteningly high.

After graduation, my parents had kept hoping I'd come home.

They said we had a house and a car back home, that life wasn't so hard there, that I wouldn't have to work myself to the bone.

Even if I didn't land a government job, an easy job would be more than enough for me to live well.

But I couldn't bring myself to let go of Benedict.

To stay with him, I'd gritted my teeth and stayed in this fast, high-pressure city, packing onto the subway every day, working overtime, renting the cheapest place I could find, telling myself all of it was worth it as long as I could be a little closer to him.

Thinking about it now, how stupid.

I laid the suitcase open and picked out his things one by one, setting them into a paper bag by the door.

What came faster than the heartbreak, oddly, was relief.

My phone buzzed. A message from Benedict.

"I'm not coming back tonight. Mila has an interview with a university abroad tomorrow, so I'm helping her prep the questions."

A few seconds later, he added one more line.

"Don't read into it. I'm sleeping in the guest room."

I stared at the words, and then I laughed a little.

A message from Mila popped up in the group chat almost right away.

"Relax, Dawnie!"

"Even if the two of us shared one bed, nothing would happen! Back on the study-abroad trip, there weren't enough rooms, and we actually did share a bed once. I woke up curled right into him in the morning, and he still didn't do a thing!"

Benedict didn't push back. He just sent a helpless little face.

Then the two of them started talking about that trip again.

Talking about the nights they'd stayed up together in the bedroom rushing deadlines, and the midnight snacks Benedict made for her.

Talking about the night he'd carried her home on his back after she drank too much.

Here we go again.

Another conversation I could never be part of.

I used to keep trying to work my way in.

They talked about IELTS, so I downloaded an app and memorized vocabulary.

They talked about books in the original English, so I bought them and looked up every word, page by page.

They talked about applying abroad, so I secretly read guides and wrote down the names of schools I couldn't even pronounce right.

But every single time I opened my mouth, all I got back was a short, awkward silence.