The moment he saw the screen, his expression changed instantly. He stood up immediately and answered the call while walking toward the bathroom.
I didn’t mean to listen.
The penthouse was just too quiet.
And Gideon’s tenderness toward Judith cut through the silence like a knife slowly carving me open.
“How did you fall again?” his voice was full of concern. “Didn’t I tell you not to walk around alone?”
“Stay there. Don’t move.” I could almost picture the look on his face. “I’m coming right now.”
I lowered my eyes slowly.
When I got hurt, Gideon called me emotional and immature. When Judith stumbled somewhere, he treated her like something fragile that needed protection immediately.
The bathroom door opened moments later. Gideon was already putting his gun holster back on beneath his coat, preparing to leave.
“I need to handle some company business,” he said flatly. “I’ll be out for a while.”
Company business.
Right.
The mafia boss of the Red Bullets was apparently very busy at midnight comforting another woman.
He walked toward the door without even looking back at me. Like staying here another second would waste his time.
“Gideon.”
I called his name softly.
He stopped immediately, but when he turned around, his face was full of impatience.
“Fucking what now?” he snapped.
The look in his eyes hurt more than I expected.
My chest tightened painfully, but I still forced myself to point at the table quietly.
“Your keys.”
Gideon froze.
For the first time that night, embarrassment flickered across his face. He grabbed the car keys from the table and looked away first.
“Don’t think too much,” he said stiffly. “Since I agreed to marry you, I won’t go back on my word.”
Then he left.
The penthouse door slammed shut behind him.
I sat there quietly for a long time after that, finishing the bandage around my own hand while replaying the disgust in his eyes over and over again.
So that was how worthless I looked to him now. Strangely enough, the thought didn’t destroy me like before.
Maybe because every time Gideon hurt me, another piece of my love disappeared with it.
Maybe soon, there’d be nothing left at all.
I slowly stood up and picked the photo out of the broken frame then I threw it into the trash.
After that, I started throwing everything else away too; Couple mugs. Matching slippers. His spare ties beside my dresses. Photos. Gifts.
Every trace of Gideon inside the bridal suite disappeared one by one.
If I was going to forget him anyway, then I didn’t need reminders haunting me everywhere I looked.
Two more pages disappeared from the calendar.
But Gideon still didn’t come home.
And honestly...
I felt relieved.
My memories kept fading little by little.
Some things were already becoming blurry.
The pain from the engagement banquet. The sound of Gideon’s voice. The way he used to look at me sometimes when he was tired.
Only one memory stayed painfully clear.
Being nine years old and terrified while wild dogs chased my bicycle down the road.
Gideon running toward me without hesitation.
Funny how the cruelest people always start as someone who once saved you.
...
I spent the next few days quietly cleaning the penthouse alone. Folding clothes. Washing blood stains from the carpet. Throwing away old memories.
And waiting.
Just waiting for the month to end.
I didn’t want anything from Gideon anymore.
I just wanted to leave this city quietly before my memories disappeared completely...
Gideon wasn’t always this cold to me.
Back then, even if he didn’t smile much, there was still warmth hidden somewhere in his eyes when he looked at me.
When I got badly sick at fifteen and burned with fever for days, Gideon stayed beside my bed the whole time. I still remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing him sitting there in black clothes with a gun tucked behind his back because he’d just come from Red Bullets business.
He touched my forehead and muttered quietly, “Hurry up and get better already. You promised we’d go watch the sunrise together.”
Another time, some boys from another mafia family cornered me outside school because they hated the Laureen family. Gideon showed up and smashed a bottle against the wall beside one of their heads.
“Touch her again,” he said coldly, “and I’ll bury every single one of you.”
Nobody dared come near me after that.
When I turned eighteen, he took me to the rooftop of Salerno Empire Holdings after midnight. The city lights looked beautiful from up there. He sat beside me quietly smoking while I leaned against his shoulder.
“You’ll stay beside me forever, right?” I asked him back then like an idiot.
He flicked ash from his cigarette and rubbed my head once. “Yeah.”
Just one word. But I believed him anyway.
We went to the same university after that. Spent almost every day together. Everyone thought we’d eventually get married.
Honestly, I thought so too. I’d already imagined becoming Gideon Salerno’s wife long before he ever asked.
Then Judith appeared.
Everything changed after that.
On Valentine’s Day during university, I went to the men’s dorm carrying homemade dessert like some stupid girl in love planning a confession.
Before I could even knock, I saw Gideon making out with Judith against the wall.
I froze right there.
And for the first time in my life, I saw Gideon look at someone with real love in his eyes.
That was the moment I understood something.
I could spend my whole life beside him and still never become the woman he truly wanted.
After that, I disappeared from his life completely. I left the country, stopped calling, stopped asking about him and stopped hoping.
Then four years ago, the Salerno family started collapsing from internal betrayal and mafia pressure. Their enemies were circling like wolves waiting to tear them apart. That was when our families forced the marriage alliance.
I came back home and saw Gideon again after years apart.
The first thing he said to me still plays in my head sometimes.
“Judith and I were never going to work out, Selah,” he said calmly while pouring himself whiskey in his office. “But I’ll try to treat you well if we get married.”
And somehow I still accepted it.
God.
Was I really that desperate for him?
I helped the Salerno family clean up their messes after that. I handled business deals, family connections, political pressure, even negotiations between mafia factions for Gideon. I stood beside him while he rebuilt the Red Bullets into something terrifying again.
And little by little, I convinced myself he was changing.
Until that phone call at the engagement banquet destroyed every fantasy I had left.
The strange thing was, the more memories I lost because of the tumor, the less it hurt.
Some parts of Gideon were already becoming blurry in my head.
And honestly... I welcomed it.
The cancer pain was horrible. Some nights it felt like something was drilling into my skull while my whole body shook from nausea.
But forgetting Gideon?
That part almost felt merciful.
I started writing in my diary every single day after that.
Mom’s laugh. Dad teaching me how to shoot. Grandpa yelling during chess games. The names of people I loved.
I wrote and wrote because I was terrified I’d wake up after surgery and not remember any of them.
There wasn’t enough time. There were too many memories slipping away too fast.
...
I was writing quietly at the dining table one night when suddenly an arm wrapped around my shoulder from behind.
I flinched so hard I shoved the person away immediately. The notebook almost fell from my hands.
When I looked up and saw Gideon standing there, his expression darkened slightly in surprise. I slowly closed my notebook and looked at him calmly. Gideon stared at me strangely like my reaction bothered him. I saw something flicker across his face. His eyes dropped to the notebook in my hands.
“I already told you before,” he said while taking off his coat, “I hate unnecessary formalities. A wedding is just a ceremony. You don’t need to write me love letters or prepare dramatic surprises and wedding vows. It will only disgust the shit out of me.”
