I almost laughed.
If he knew the real surprise waiting for him on our wedding day, I wondered if he’d still sound so calm.
I smiled faintly instead. “Okay.”
That seemed to relax him.
Then he placed another takeout box on the table and pushed it toward me.
“Eat while it’s warm,” he said.
I opened the container slowly.
Steak. Again.
Probably leftovers from another dinner with Judith.
I looked up at Gideon quietly. He loosened his tie and leaned back against the counter confidently.
That was always our relationship. He hurt me then gave me scraps of kindness afterward expecting me to forgive him immediately.
I stared at the steak for a long moment before finally speaking.
“I can’t eat this.”
Gideon frowned slightly. “Why?”
“I’m allergic to beef.”
His body visibly stiffened.
“What?”
I looked at him quietly. “I’ve always been allergic to cow’s meat since kid.”
For the first time in years, Gideon actually looked shaken.
A flash of panic crossed his cold face.
“I...” He stopped talking for a second. “I didn’t know.”
Of course he didn’t. How could he? Men who truly loved someone remembered things like that.
I shook my head gently.
“It’s okay.”
Because strangely enough... I really meant it now.
Gideon looked away first.
Maybe out of guilt, he suddenly started cleaning up the food containers himself before speaking again in a lower voice.
“Come with me tomorrow,” he said. “We need to discuss the wedding details with the families.”
In the past, hearing that would’ve made me secretly happy for days. Now my heart felt completely still.
I wanted to refuse. I needed time to keep writing before my memories disappeared again. I didn’t want to waste energy pretending to be a happy bride anymore. But Gideon kept staring at me silently, waiting for an answer. In the end, I closed my notebook slowly and nodded.
“Okay.”
…
The Salerno estate felt heavier the moment I stepped inside.
Gideon’s parents welcomed me warmly, acting as if nothing had happened. As if their son hadn’t stood me up and humiliated me in front of the entire mafia circle at the engagement banquet.
His mother held my hands too tightly when she greeted me.
“Selah, you’re too thin,” she said, pushing food closer. “You need to eat more.”
His father sighed between sips of tea.
“That boy has been impossible lately. We already reprimanded him. What he did was unacceptable.”
I gave a small polite nod and ate a few bites even though I had no appetite. Across the table, Gideon sat relaxed in his chair, expression cold and unreadable.
They began discussing the bride price and wedding arrangements, voices controlled but tense underneath.
Then Gideon’s phone rang. The moment he looked at the screen, everything about him changed.
He stood up immediately.
“I’ve got urgent matters. Handle the wedding yourselves.”
His father’s tone sharpened. “Gideon, sit down! We’re discussing your marriage.”
Gideon didn’t even look at him.
“I said I’m fucking busy.”
Then he walked out. The door closed behind him and the room fell into an awkward silence.
All eyes slowly turned to me, waiting for a reaction I didn’t have. I lifted my teacup and took a slow sip. Was I supposed to feel something stronger?
I set it down carefully. His figure leaving already felt distant, like it didn’t fully belong in my memory anymore. Maybe I really won’t feel pain over him much longer.
That thought didn’t cut the way it used to.
It just… floated there.
…
Gideon didn’t come back for five days. Every day, another page of my calendar was torn away.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Like time was quietly erasing me along with my memories. I stayed mostly in my room during that time, writing in my diary whenever I could.
Was this what dying felt like? Slow forgetting?
Without Gideon around, the house actually felt easier to breathe in. No tension in my chest. No waiting for footsteps that never made me feel safe anyway.
The Salerno family was furious with him though. I heard shouting through phone calls and servants whispering in the halls.
Their empire heir acting like this, ignoring responsibilities, ignoring me, but I didn’t care anymore.
Twenty three days left until surgery.
Time felt too slow and too fast at the same time. My headaches got worse, sharp enough that I had to start taking painkillers just to function. Sometimes I’d sit there holding my head and wonder quietly.
How much of me will still be here after this?
The only clear memory of Gideon left in my head now was him saving me when I was younger.
Nothing else stayed sharp anymore.
Then one afternoon, Mr. Salerno called me personally.
“Selah, I’m sorry about my son,” he said. “He’s been… difficult lately.”
I already understood what this really meant. They were scared. Scared the Laureen family might pull support from the Salerno Empire if this marriage fell apart. It was always politics underneath everything. Still, I knew his parents were kind people. They treated me well when I was younger. So I didn’t blame them.
“I’m okay,” I told him gently.
After the call ended, I just sat there for a while. I wasn’t angry anymore. Not even sad. Just tired. Even Gideon’s father couldn’t seem to find him lately. But I already knew where he was. Judith made sure everyone knew.
Her social media posts never stopped.
Mountaintop sunrise photos. Beach sunsets. Amusement park rides where she and Gideon sat close together. Her hand in his. Cliffside pictures where they kissed like nothing else existed.
Each post felt deliberate. Like she wanted me to see it. In the past, it would’ve destroyed me. I probably would’ve cried until I couldn’t breathe. Now I just stared at it for a few seconds and closed the app.
Childish.
That was the only word that came to mind.
Is this really what I used to fight over?
A man who could look at someone else like that while I waited at home?
I didn’t even feel jealous anymore.
Just… detached. Like he wasn’t mine to lose in the first place.
...
Days kept passing.
My diary was almost full. My hand cramped from writing too much. Outside the window, sunlight spilled into the room and warmed my face.
It felt strange.
There were only 18 pages left on the calendar.
18 days until everything ends.
I thought I should go out and see the city before the surgery.
Since coming back, my life had been nothing but Gideon, Salerno Empire, Red Bullets meetings, expectations, silence.
I didn’t even know what I liked anymore.
Apart from Grandpa, no one knew about my surgery.
I didn’t want my parents to worry. I stood in front of the mirror and barely recognized myself. I quickly fixed my hair, grabbed my coat, and headed out. Maybe I just needed air. Maybe I just needed to feel like I was still alive.
But the moment I stepped outside the building, I bumped into someone solid.
I looked up.
Gideon.
He pushed past me slightly like I was in the way and walked inside.
“I thought you were so forgiving,” he said, not even looking back. “Didn’t expect you to complain to my parents.”
