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By the time I'd pulled myself together and gone downstairs, Fergus was already parked at the curb, waiting.
Dad sat up front in the passenger seat.
Mom was in the back with the two golden retrievers.
The car was big, and it was packed full.
I stood beside it and said it gently.
"There's no room. Could we leave the dogs at home?"
The words were barely out before Mom's face went cold.
"Have you got any sense at all? Scarlett's been away this long, and those two dogs are the thing she's missed most. How could we leave them behind?"
Dad's brows drew together.
"A grown woman who can't stand the smallest inconvenience. What's wrong with you taking the bus and train there? You just have to ruin the mood for everyone."
I hadn't slept all night, and my head felt heavy, my legs unsteady, everything miserable.
"Can I just not go?"
If no one was waiting for me, why force myself in, one more piece of unwanted decoration?
"What kind of heartless child are you? Your own sister comes home and you don't even want to meet her at the airport. Cold-blooded, ungrateful. We raised you all these years for nothing!"
Fergus sat in the driver's seat, silent the whole time.
He watched the whole family lay into me, watched me stand there humiliated and wretched, and he said nothing, his eyes flat and distant.
"Fine. You take the bus and train."
The car started and pulled away without a backward glance.
The sun was blazing. I rode a shared bike first, then squeezed onto a jammed bus, then transferred to the subway.
The whole way I was jolted around, dizzy and sick.
By the time I reached the airport, out of breath, I called them.
Mom's voice carried an edge of impatience.
"We've already picked Scarlett up. We're on the freeway heading home now."
Before I could get a word out, the call cut off clean.
I stood at the airport entrance, in the crowd and the noise, and looked up at the glaring sun.
And then I laughed.
Laughed until my eyes went red and my throat tightened, and inside there was nothing but wasteland.
They could set aside the best room for my sister, the grandest welcome.
But they couldn't spare even a moment to wait for me.
By the time I finally made it home, I was worn out.
Tired, thirsty, hungry.
I stood at the front door, and once again the lock wouldn't scan me in.
I knocked for a long time.
A neighbor poked their head out, puzzled.
"Your family went out for lunch. How come you didn't go?"
I pushed down the sting behind my eyes and called Mom.
"Private room, third floor, the Grand Prosper Hotel."
I pushed the door open. Fergus was sitting next to Scarlett, peeling shrimp for her.
He has a severe seafood allergy.
In our two years together, he never once touched seafood.
The whole table was covered in red, fiery Sichuan dishes.
They all remembered that Scarlett couldn't eat anything without heat.
But no one remembered that I have serious stomach ulcers and can't touch anything spicy.
They glanced up at me and went right back to their fun.
Mom brought out a beautifully wrapped gift box.
"Scarlett, this is a La Mer set. We bought it just for you."
Dad pulled out a brand-new property deed and slid it across to Scarlett.
"The new house is in your name."
Scarlett took the deed with a bright, happy smile and shot me a smug look.
"So doesn't that mean, when my sister lives at home from now on, she'll have to pay me rent?"
Fergus wiped the shrimp off his hands and produced a gift box.
"The newest necklace from the Dietrich family. Let me put it on you."
Expensive, understated luxury, dazzling.
I sat in the seat by the door and looked down at the old T-shirt on me, washed pale.
I couldn't even remember how many years it had been since I'd gotten a gift.
Back before Scarlett went abroad, every holiday my parents would smile and brush me off.
"You're sisters. One gift between you is enough. No need to waste money."
But those so-called shared gifts were always the style Scarlett liked, in her size.
Later, once Scarlett was overseas, they switched to a new line.
"Scarlett's suffering all alone in another country while you sit comfortably at home. What right do you have to fight her for gifts?"
Year after year, the same thing.
I'd long since grown used to having nothing, used to not being the favored one.
An unfamiliar number came through.
It was the project lead for the Antarctic research expedition.
"Miss Sullivan, I'm confirming with you again. The three-year posting in Antarctica. Are you certain you can accept the position and report for duty?"
"The conditions are harsh, the term is long. Once you confirm, there's no going back."
I didn't hesitate for a second.
"I'm certain."
