“You're being unreasonable.”
Calvin said those three words, put on his headset, and launched into the game without looking back.
“Women are so much trouble.”
“Cara, promise me you won't be this difficult when you get married.”
A throwaway complaint, met by a silvery laugh through his headset.
Calvin and I started dating freshman year of college.
In the beginning, he did care. He'd walk with me, take me to the movies.
He just wasn't big on texting, but in person he was always thoughtful.
“I don't like chatting. Typing's a hassle, listening to voice messages is a hassle.”
“I'm like that with everyone.”
I accepted that about him.
Back then I told myself, that's just who he is.
Later, once we were together, he introduced me to Cara and often brought me along to game with them.
But I wasn't any good, so after a while I stopped playing.
I shouldn't have seen the message threads between Calvin and Cara. Endless, dense, scrolling on and on.
Or Cara's Instagram, where Calvin had commented on every single post without fail.
He'd even message Cara on nights he couldn't sleep. He never once reached out to me.
It felt like swallowing a needle.
That night, Calvin didn't come to bed.
He gamed until dawn.
Early the next morning I left him a note. 【Meet me at the bridal boutique.】
【There's something I need to talk to you about.】
He could ignore my texts. He could skip my voice messages.
A note, at least, he couldn't miss.
But I forgot: some people aren't blind in the eyes. They're blind in the heart.
I sat on the sofa and watched couple after couple walk in and walk out. The cup of hot water in front of me was refilled again and again.
Until a staff member came over, apologetic.
“Miss Vance, we're about to close up for the day……”
The way she trailed off, too awkward to finish. It was pity.
I walked home in stops and starts.
On the way, I opened Cara's Instagram over and over.
【Oh yeah, checked this one off the list!】
The photo showed a movie screen. In the bottom left corner, a hand throwing up a peace sign. Calvin's hand.
If moving out had been my way of testing Calvin, then this time I really needed to let go.
Around the corner from our building, at the barbecue stand Calvin and I always went to, I spotted two familiar figures.
His back was to me. Cara sat across from him, talking with her hands.
Then Cara saw me, and Calvin turned around.
In the middle of all that noise and chatter, something unspeakable settled between the three of us.
“Sarah! Sit here!”
Cara pulled over a stool and patted the spot next to her.
“Sarah, how'd the dress fitting go today?”
She was grasping for small talk, trying to smooth over the tension.
The skewer in Calvin's hand trembled.
Before I could speak, he called out, “Excuse me, thirty more beef skewers, ten pork belly, and a mango smoothie.”
I knew what this was. Guilt.
He was trying to make it up to me with an order.
It was hot out. By the time the smoothie arrived, it was already half melted.
“Drink it before it melts.”
I glanced at it. Didn't touch it.
Calvin frowned. “Isn't mango smoothie your favorite?”
Cara snorted. “You idiot, I'm the one who likes mango smoothies.”
Calvin scratched the back of his head, sheepish, and looked at me with guilt all over his face：“Sorry, I got mixed up……”
He didn't get mixed up. He had never learned what I liked in the first place.
Because the entire time we'd been together, I was the one who ordered for us. He never had to bother.
Calvin didn't just not know my preferences. He'd forgotten something else.
I'm allergic to mango.
I lowered my head and scooped a spoonful into my mouth.
