I pushed the front door open and stepped into the silent foyer. Shadows stretched across the marble floor. I had been gone for fourteen hours. My phone hadn't buzzed once. No missed calls from my husband. No texts asking about my whereabouts.
From the top of the stairs, a sharp moan shattered the quiet.
"Fuck, Amanda, spread your legs wider," Benjamin grunted from the master bedroom.
"I'm trying, Ben. Just shove your fucking cock in my pussy already," Amanda whined.
"Impatient bitch. You want me to stretch out your cunt?"
"Yes. Fuck my tight little pussy. Don't stop fucking me."
The wet, heavy slapping of flesh against flesh echoed down the staircase.
"Fuck, you take it so deep," he groaned. "Your tits are perfect."
"Suck my nipples, Ben. Bite them."
"I'm going to fill your fucking pussy with my cum," he growled.
"Do it. Breed me, Ben. Fuck me harder."
I stood by the front door, my face entirely blank. A year ago, overhearing my husband fuck his first love would have sent me into a blind rage. I would have stormed up those stairs. I would have broken doors.
Today, I simply dropped my keys into the ceramic bowl. The metallic clink barely masked the next string of vulgarities drifting down the stairs.
I turned my back on the staircase and walked down the hall.
The door to the ground-floor nursery stood ajar. Inside, my five-year-old son sat cross-legged on the rug. Crayons and construction paper littered the floor around him.
"Erick," I said.
He didn't look up. His small fingers smeared a thick layer of glue onto the back of a glossy photograph.
"What are you making?" I asked, stepping into the room.
"Nothing for you," he muttered.
I moved closer, my gaze dropping to the image in his hands. It was a picture of Amanda, smiling brightly at the camera.
Erick slammed the photo onto a piece of pink paper. He patted it down with his palms.
"Aunt Amanda is going to be my mom," he told the paper.
My chest tightened. "I am your mother, Erick."
"No you're not!" He grabbed a red marker and uncapped it with his teeth. "You're always yelling. You're always mad."
"I'm not mad right now," I replied, keeping my voice perfectly steady.
"Aunt Amanda plays with me." He scribbled a crude heart next to her printed face. "I want Amanda."
A sharp sting hit the back of my eyes. I pressed my lips together. My jaw locked tight. I inhaled through my nose, a long pull of air, refusing to let a single tear fall.
He didn't need me. My own flesh and blood had chosen her.
"Okay," I whispered.
I pivoted on my heel and walked out of the nursery.
Footsteps pounded on the stairs. Heavy, hurried treads followed by lighter, bare feet. Benjamin and Amanda reached the bottom landing just as I emerged from the hallway.
Benjamin froze. His dark hair stood up in messy tufts. He wore only a pair of unbuttoned jeans. Amanda stood right behind him, clutching one of his oversized white dress shirts around her bare body.
The moment his eyes met mine, his posture shifted. He immediately stepped sideways, placing his broad shoulders between me and Amanda. A protective shield.
"Claire," Benjamin said. His voice dropped into a low, defensive register. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough," I replied.
Amanda gasped, shrinking behind his back. "Oh, God. Ben."
"Get behind me, Amanda," he ordered, never taking his eyes off me.
"I'm not going to attack her," I said.
"You threw a glass at her head last week," he shot back.
"I missed," I pointed out.
Before Benjamin could argue, small feet pounded against the hardwood. Erick rushed out of the nursery, clutching his messy collage. He darted past me and shoved his small body in front of Benjamin’s legs.
"Bad mommy!" Erick yelled, pointing a tiny, accusing finger at me.
I blinked, looking down at my son.
"You're not allowed to bully Aunt Amanda!" Erick screamed, his face turning bright red. "Leave her alone!"
Silence stretched across the foyer.
In the past, this was the exact moment I would break. I would scream. I would hurl accusations, throw a vase, and sob until my throat bled. Benjamin braced himself, his muscles tensing for the inevitable explosion.
I simply tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
"I haven't said a word to her, Erick," I stated calmly.
Benjamin’s eyebrows shot up. He stared at me, searching my face for the hysteria he was so accustomed to. He found nothing.
Amanda peeked out from behind his arm. Her lower lip trembled perfectly on cue.
"I'm so sorry, Claire," she whimpered. Tears welled up in her large eyes, spilling over her cheeks in a flawless display of victimhood. "I didn't mean to cause a fight. I know you hate seeing me here."
I stared at her. "I don't hate anything."
She sniffled, wrapping the shirt tighter around her waist. She waited for Benjamin to pull her back. To comfort her. To tell her she belonged here.
Benjamin didn't move. He kept his eyes locked on me, entirely thrown off balance by my flat tone.
"I'll just get my things," Amanda cried louder, taking a hesitant step toward the door. "I'll leave right now."
Still, Benjamin said nothing to her. He didn't reach for her hand. He didn't beg her to stay. His gaze bore into mine, confusion pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Amanda stopped walking. She looked at Benjamin, then at me, clearly panicked that her usual script wasn't working.
Erick grabbed Amanda's leg. "No! Don't go!" He glared at me with raw hatred. "Tell her she can stay!"
I looked at Amanda's tear-stained face, then down at my son.
"You don't need to leave," I said.
Amanda's mouth fell open.
"What did you just say?" Benjamin asked, his tone sharp with disbelief.
I met his gaze dead-on.
"Since Erick likes you so much," I said, my voice completely devoid of emotion, "you should stay."
Erick threw his hands in the air. "Yay! Aunt Amanda gets to stay!"
He grabbed her hand, tugging her away from the stairs and toward the living room. Amanda let herself be pulled, casting one last bewildered glance over her shoulder at me.
Benjamin didn't celebrate. He crossed his arms over his bare chest, his jaw working as he studied me.
"What game are you playing, Claire?" he demanded.
"No game," I replied.
"You never let her stay without a screaming match. Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what?"
"Like you don't care!" he snapped.
"I don't."
I walked past him, heading for the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water.
Let them play house. Let them fuck in my bed. Let my son call her mother.
I opened the cabinet and grabbed a glass.
None of this mattered anymore.
In exactly seven days, I would board a plane for an international medical rescue mission in a hostile war zone. I was leaving this house, this marriage, and this family behind forever. And I was never coming back.
