But outside the woodshed the noise never stopped, the household servants' deliberate exclamations carrying right to my ears.
Lorenzo had taken Gianna out to buy the things for their joining.
Every single item was finer, more lavish than what he had once bought for me.
And not just that. He had gone to the Matriarch and petitioned for a true wife's ring, the seal of a real Family bride.
The one he had given me back then was nothing more than a band he'd had some jeweler cut on order.
At the time, I had thought it was because my standing was low, because I was not the woman Lorenzo loved.
That was why I hadn't deserved a ring blessed by Donna Abate's own hand.
But it turned out that wasn't the reason at all.
When I thought back on it, I had been so laughable.
I had taken Lorenzo's courtesy for a genuine heart.
And I had blamed everything that came after on Isabella's meddling.
In the end, it had all been my own foolish delusion.
When Lorenzo returned, perhaps in better spirits, he had me moved into the side chamber off the main house.
He even tossed me a roll of bills and told me to buy whatever needed buying.
The fever had me dazed and muddled, but then Donna Abate sent a man summoning me to the estate.
Only then did I remember that today was the rite for the child.
I forced myself to stand through the long hours of it, and once I left the estate, I remembered again the money tucked against me.
I remembered Lorenzo's order, that I see to the arrangements with my own hands.
Gritting my teeth, I went into the city and bought jewelry and fine cloth, and only then returned to the compound.
Only to find Lorenzo keeping Gianna company while she helped a bitch whelp a litter in the courtyard.
Gianna said, her voice heavy with meaning, "I wonder who's coming back into the world today."
"What a blessing, to be reborn as my dog."
The flames of fury caught all at once and lit me up.
Roaring, I lunged at her and slapped Gianna across the face.
Lorenzo drove his foot into me and sent me flying into the chests behind me.
The silks and satins spilled out, the stark red of them spread garishly across the floor. For a moment no servant moved. Even the dog had gone quiet.
His face was thunderous. "What are you throwing a fit about now?"
"And what's all this? What's the meaning of it?"
"I told you to buy things the child would need, for when we bring him back from the estate, and you go and spend it on clothes and jewelry for yourself?"
"Carmela Greco, you are so shallow and vain it's sickening."
"Someone like you, how could you possibly be fit to raise a child? I'm warning you. If you don't rein yourself in, when the child comes back, don't even dream of raising him."
The child, the child...
My child was already gone.
A wretched laugh broke out of me. I snatched up the gold pin beside me and drove it toward my heart.
When I woke again, I was lying in bed.
Rosa, my own servant, had cried her eyes red and swollen, the hem of her apron twisted to ruin between her fingers. "My lady, you're finally awake."
"Thank God the Don reacted in time, or that pin would have taken your life."
The smell of medicine hung thick in the room. Dazed, I stared at my bandaged chest.
Even my leg had been freshly dressed.
In a haze, I saw Lorenzo walk in. The room seemed to still around him the way a club does when the boss crosses the floor.
"How could you fly off the handle like that? Would it have killed you to explain one more word?"
"If the delivery man hadn't chased me down with the goods, I wouldn't even have known those were what you'd bought for Gianna."
"Burning with fever and still forcing yourself out the door. You could have just sent word. A day or two wouldn't have made any difference."
Faced with this rare yielding from Lorenzo, I said nothing. My thumb found the old scar on my leg and pressed there, quiet.
A faint guilt rose in his eyes. "There's a Family sit-down tomorrow. Come with me."
My voice came out hoarse. "There's no need."
"Don't worry. I'll have the dress altered. No one will be able to tell you're hurt."
Lorenzo laid out his arrangements one by one, each word measured, leaving no room.
"When the child leaves the estate, it's better if we go to bring him back together."
I was too tired, too weary to bother explaining, so I softly answered yes.
By tomorrow, Donna Abate would tell him the child was gone after all.
What I never expected was that the next day, Gianna would be there at his side too.
