Against his will: The omega he never chose

October,1998

‘Come home soon, Travis’

‘Wait for me, babe.’

Her husband used to say that every time he left for work. And each time, his lips would hum those words as he leaned forward to kiss her.

Alyssa did, always did, and still did wait for her Alpha, even though Travis no longer asked her to do so. 

She waited with lavender perfume rubbed into her wrists, and tired jade eyes. She would wait.

Alyssa whirled away in the kitchen, the hem of her peach satin robe flowing behind her like waves. Her skin was disturbingly turning pale these days, maybe tiredness is striking her more these days. Her heart was tired and sad.

Alyssa glanced at the clock...half-past eleven. Travis is late again. She heaved a strained sigh.

Zoey watched her mama heating the kettle of chamomile tea swirling around in the kitchen humming a tune.

It was her Daddy's favorite, Zoey knew that. Her Mama always made her daddy’s favorites because she loved Dadda very much.

Though she knew her Dadda didn't love her mama that much.

 He doesn't kiss Mama like Nyra’s dada would kiss her Mama. Dadda was always angry and shouted at her for no reason and sometimes Mama would yell back too. It made Zoey very scared.

"Zoey, why don't you go to bed? I'll tuck you in a minute, baby." Alyssa’s eyes were busy on the boiling pot of milk.

"Wait to Dadda, I want," Zoey’s eyes crinkled at her mama, tugging at the hem of her shirt. "for wait together,"

"It's not wait to Dadda I want, it's I want to wait for Dadda together," Alyssa had a rule of not answering Zoey until she spoke correctly. So she pouted at Zoey after eyeing her, and Zoey knew she had said it wrong again.

Half the time, Alyssa used this rule to avoid questions from Zoey like ‘why Dadda didn't come for dinner?’ or ‘Why Dadda didn't come to my school?’ or some things like ‘Why didn't Dadda do this or that?" And the worst one was, 'Why are you crying, mama?'"’

It gave her a headache.

"I want to wait for Dadda together," she repeated, giggling, trying to lighten her Mother’s mood. "No, he has a lot of work, so he's going to be late again."

In reality, Alyssa didn't even know if Travis was going to return, let alone be late. 

She didn't even know why she was explaining all this to her daughter. "You know how hard Daddy works for us, right?”

"Please Mama, I eat dinner with Dadda.”

"Zoey," she sighs.

Moments like these broke her heart. "If you to go to sleep, I'll make you-"

"NO! " She thrashed her fists in the air, eyes red.

Alyssa noted how similar to her father she looked when she was angry.

 Their hazel eyes glowed golden like embers, while their cheeks would tint into the brightest shade of pink.

So much for a little alpha.

"Zoey, eat with Dadda! Zoey eats with Dadda!"

Alyssa sighed, resigning herself. There was no way to end her fit. Once she had begun throwing a tantrum, Zoey wouldn't calm down until she’d gotten what she wanted.

"Zoey, you're a good girl. Good girls listen to Mama."  

"Zoey, bad girl! Zoey, bad girl! Zoey eat with Dadda! Mama lies! Dadda and you fight! Dadda don't love you no more!"

*PAKKK*

There was a sound of slap and then silence.

Alyssa lost her last bit of self-control. Before even realizing it, she had slapped her baby girl. 

A moment later, red fingerprints appeared on her little one’s cheek. Tears crept out of those uneven eyes, not Zoey who had shushed up now.

Alyssa sunk down onto the cold tiles, a blubbering mess of tears, sobs and apologies. 

"Mama~~”

“Mama, don't cry. Mama, Zoey, be good girl now...mama, Zoey go to sleep. Don't cry Mama. Zoey don't eat with Dadda. Zoey don't wait for Dadda. I go to sleep....Don’t cry Mama. I love mama."

Eyes drowned in tears, a heart burdened with sorrow, lungs breaking every moment, Alyssa hugged the small cub. She knew at that moment she would make her daughter see that her Dadda does love Mama. She would do whatever it takes.

Even though it will cost her, her honor. She couldn’t let her daughter see how hollow her relationship with her husband has become.

Zoey doesn’t deserve all this.

 She deserves love.

She deserves to see love. She will see only love.

By 3am, a fumble of keys resounded on the porch.

The drunk Alpha stumbled into the apartment. Alyssa rushed to her husband's aid. He held onto her and laid a big, sloppy kiss on her mouth.

"Remi" Travis slurred.

Alyssa slightly pushed him away, but kept holding his arm as he latched the door again. 

"May, June, Ro... I can't...remember names.” Travis kept swaying in her arms.

The smell of cheap perfume lingered on his coat as she removed it from Alpha’s shoulder and placed it on the worn, maple dining table. 

Travis slumped onto the chair, a goofy smile on his lips.

"June.... And Alyssa,"

Alyssa poured him a cup of chamomile tea, but the alpha gripped her hand, stopping her.

 "Why are you still here?" He mumbled, his hands clutching a now new bottle of beer. 

"You know why, Travis."

Opting to remain quiet, she reached out to grab at it but she pulled away once she noticed what the Alpha was going to do.

Having not expected it, Alyssa barely had a moment to register what was happening before she ducked, narrowly missing the beer bottle.

The alpha chuckled darkly.

She had never seen him so drunk before, nor so broken, or even deranged, for that matter.

"I don't understand. We fight too much. You make me sick, Alyssa. Just leave me alone." He pulled her closer instead of letting go, pointing an accusing finger at his wife.

Their breaths mixed as a snowstorm messed with the wild wind. With his index finger, Travis traced the outline of her lips.

"I hate you. You ruined everything. You always ruin everything." He slurred, his voice loud and strong, but the words all jumbled together under the heavy influence of the alcohol.

 "I don't love you.”

“I know that.” Alyssa tried to free herself but couldn’t as Travis’s grip tightened and he released angry pheromones, making her cower in submission.

"Riley...Ugh!!. I can't remember their names, but I remember Remi and I love her." 

"I know you do," Alyssa whispered calmly. As calm as a winter storm could be.

 "She won't be mine and you know why?” Travis kept mumbling angrily.

“I know.” She responded as she moved her face away from the foul smell of alcohol wafting through Alpha’s mouth.

Travis gripped her chin a bit harshly to make the omega look at him. “Look at me when I talk.”

Alyssa shivered as her legs turned into jelly with all the suffocating air around them.

“Yeah, you know she won’t be mine until you take Zoey’s custody.”

"Maybe that's why I don't take her custody." 

Alyssa spoke freely, though her heartbeat was erratic. She thought her chest might burst from the way her heart was thrumming inside.

Yet, she knew the Alpha wasn't going to remember anything in the morning.

"Oh you b*tch omega, you pain in my *ss” He cursed. Whatever he said, it didn't make a difference on the omega anymore.

It took all her strength to push the alpha away from her, though. 

Travis stumbled on the couch in the living room, falling head first.

"I'll get rid of you. I swear I will. Then I'll be free to be with Remi and I won't ever come home.” Travis kept mumbling incoherent words.

Alyssa stroked his hair. It was as dark as the countryside's night sky. 

"You'll come back home. Trust me."

Thankfully, the Alpha remained quiet as she pulled the duvet up under his chin, tucking him in as one does to a child. When she stood up Travis held her hand and mumbled a ‘I hate you’

He said again in his slurred state.

Alyssa looked one more time before grabbing the beer bottle. Luckily it wasn’t broken, "But I love you." She exhaled at last, but Travis was already asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRESENT

October 13 1998

 Alyssa stared at the walls of her house for far too long. 

As if staring at them would bring back the days she missed so much these past months. 

Sometimes she just sits and keeps staring into the abyss. 

The past seven years of her life were the most promising years she ever had.

The love that flowed through the house was too good to be true. She never thought he would be sitting here alone, reminiscing about the past. The past that can never come back. The love that she can never get again.

When did things turn this ugly. When did they fall apart?

She knows when.

 Until……

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    PAST

Seven years ago

March 13th, 1992

  Pregnant. The word rang in her head as sweat popped out on her face.

Impossible, but true.

One time. She had s*x the one time in her life and this was what happened.

Alyssa dodged yet another groping hand and made her way to table four, a tray loaded with drinks balanced on her hip.

The three men at the table barely looked up as she served them, which was fine with her. 

Having them pretend she didn’t exist was preferable to fighting them off.

For her, there was no middle ground.

 She handed the bottles of beer around, putting one in front of the only empty chair at the table.

Friday and Saturday nights at Ken’s were always loud and crowded since it was the only tavern within a hundred-mile radius that sported a dance floor with live music.

Picking up the ashtray from the table, she emptied it into another one on her tray, the odor of stale cigarettes assaulting her nose.

A wave of nausea rolled over her and she closed her eyes, willing her stomach to settle. It had been happening all day and each time seemed to get worse.

If this was what she had to look forward to for the next seven and a half months, she doesn’t think she’d make it. Didn’t even want to.

Her gaze moved to the dance floor. 

The alpha wasn’t hard to find. Travis Wilson was the tallest man in the room. 

He wasn’t the best looking, not if you liked the muscled, polished look of a model, but his craggy, smooth features, and his smile were certainly enough to attract lots of attention.

Even from across the room Alyssa could feel the weight of those crystal blue eyes as the alpha looked up and studied her intently over the head of the blonde he was holding in his arms.

Remi Pierce. His fiancé. His omega.

Alyssa lowered her gaze and turned back toward the bar just as a wave of heat swept through her. 

The edges of her vision went black and the nausea hit again. This time, she knew, it wasn’t going away.

With an urgency born of desperation, she tossed the serving tray onto the bar and dashed down the long hall.

Only a screen door blocked her path outside and she went through it at a run, barely making it outside before she started to heave. 

Not that it did much good.

She hadn’t eaten since yesterday, but her traitorous stomach seemed bent on emptying itself anyway.

Hands braced on her knees, she leaned against the side of the building and s*ck*d in deep breaths of the cool night air.

Suddenly, the hair on the back of her neck stood and, even though she hadn’t heard the door open, she knew that the alpha Travis was there.

“Alyssa?”

Well, at least he knew her name. 

Hysterical laughter threatened to bubble from her throat, but she forced it down as her stomach roiled again.

“Go away. Please, Alpha, just leave me alone.”

Alyssa couldn’t look at him. Not now.

“You’re sick.”

“Stomach.” She wanted to say more, to come up with a good explanation, but her tongue seemed to be choking her. Even that one word brought on another heave.

Alyssa felt more than saw him take a step closer, then those big , strong hands were supporting her, holding her up.

The omega flinched from his touch, wanting nothing more than to just lie down and die. But of course, nothing was that easy.

“Why don’t you ask Ken to give you the rest of the night off? You’re in no shape to work.” Her nausea eased, replaced by a surge of anger, and Alyssa pulled away from him.

“This is the only job I’ve got. I can’t afford to take off. Now please leave me alone. What I do or don’t do is no concern of yours. Go back to your fiancée. I’m sure she’s wondering where you are.”

There was a second of hesitation, then Travis turned and walked away. 

As soon as Alyssa heard the door close behind him, she slid down the wall and buried her face against her knees.

She wouldn’t cry, couldn’t let herself go like that. 

In the ten years she’d lived in the town, this was the second time Travis had ever said more than two words to her.

Considering what had happened the first time, it was probably a good thing. 

And Alyssa doubted the alpha even remembered it.

She allowed herself one sniffle, then stood and wiped the sweat from her forehead. If she didn’t get back to work, Ken,her boss, was going to come looking for her.

Only one more hour until closing. She could hang on until then.

“Where did you go?”

Travis sat himself in an empty chair and glanced at Remi. The omega’s blonde hair framed the face of an angel and, as always, a surge of emotion washed over Travis.

He had known the omega forever, and couldn't remember a time when he hadn’t known they would spend their lives together. Now the alpha was beginning to think he might have blown it for good.

“Outside.”

A bottle of beer sat in front of him and he’d started to lift it to his lips when Remi’s well- manicured hand covered his.

“Travis, please reconsider. We could have so much fun. And I really want this. You know I’ll pay for everything.”

“I can’t, Remi. Even if I could leave the estate for that long, I can’t leave Ri alone. We’ve been all through this. When are you going to understand I have responsibilities I can’t abandon?”

Her perfect lips puckered into a pout. “Riley is sixteen years old now. She can take care of herself. You just don’t want to go.” Remi gathered up her things. “I’m leaving first thing in the morning. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”