A Heart Closed to Love

James Wesley has hated me for a decade after his childhood sweetheart passed away. He requests to be transferred to the frontier the day after we get married.

I write him countless letters in those ten years to win back his favor, but his response is always the same.

"If you truly regret it, why don't you hurry up and die?"

However, after I am abducted, James storms the bandit's hideout by himself and saves me. He suffers multiple bullet wounds, but before he succumbs to his injuries, he uses the last of his strength to slap my hands away.

"The thing I regret the most… in this life… is marrying you. If we get a second chance at life… please… don't bother me anymore."

His mother, Felicia Axford, sounds regretful during the funeral. "It's all my fault, James. I shouldn't have forced you to marry her…"

His father, Jeremiah Wesley, stares at me, his eyes burning with contempt. "You forced Emily to take her own life, and now you also caused my son's death. You're nothing but trouble, so you should just die!"

Even Xavier Bowen, our troop commander, who was responsible for facilitating our marriage in the first place, shakes his head and sighs. "I shouldn't have played matchmaker. I let you down, Mr. Wesley."

Everyone feels sympathetic toward James, including me. On the night I am discharged from the troop, I swallow some pesticide and die in the middle of an abandoned field. When I open my eyes again, I realize I have returned to the day before my marriage.

This time, I am determined to fulfill everyone's wishes.

"Don't think that I'll fall in love with you just because you're forcing me to marry you over your military achievements." James Wesley berates. "It'll never happen!"

For the first time in a decade, I was able to hear him insult me in that familiar tone again. James, who was in the prime of his youth, was standing right before me, alive and well.

He was as handsome and charming as ever in his military uniform. Still, my heart ached at how he didn't put any effort into hiding the disdain in his voice.

Instead of dying, I had been transported ten years back in time. Suppressing the sour sensation bubbling in my heart, I stared unblinkingly at the face that I had been longing to see for the last decade.

"I know that the one you love is Emily. She's the one you want to marry, right?"

James frowned slightly, his eyes growing wary. "What does it matter if you know? I'm warning you. You better not try any funny business behind my back, or I'll—"

"I'll make your wish come true," I said softly, interrupting him.

James stared at me for a moment before scoffing. "I don't have time to waste listening to you spouting nonsense. Hurry up and sign the document. Commander Bowen still needs to submit the application for processing."

He tossed the application document that Xavier Bowen, our troop commander, had given him before turning around and leaving. My heart felt as if it were being pricked by countless needles as I watched his retreating back.

I had loved James with all my heart in my previous life and mistakenly assumed he had feelings for me too because he had once risked his life to save me.

Even his parents once said, "James has a sharp tongue but a soft heart. He wouldn't have put his life on the line if he didn't have feelings for you."

I only learned how terribly wrong I was after we got married. After finding out that Emily Hill had taken her own life, James had immediately requested to be transferred to the frontier. I wasted a decade of my life on him and ended up being ostracized and despised by everyone around me.

I still remembered how I had secretly traveled to the frontier to visit him, only to hear him confide in the soldiers around him after he got drunk.

"I shouldn't have married Katherine. I shouldn't have given in to my parents' stubborn requests. Most of all, I shouldn't have been absent from Emily's side when she needed me the most. I regret everything…"

James completely destroyed me when he told me not to bother him right before he breathed his last breath. It turned out that my decade-long love had actually been torture for him. The one thing he shouldn't have done in his life was meet me.

Fortunately, I was given a second chance to relive my life. I was determined to stop James from dying for my sake, and I would fulfill his wishes to repay him for saving me in my past life.

Once everything was over, we would walk our own paths and have nothing to do with each other for the rest of our lives.

I picked up the application document and wrote "Emily Hill" on the dotted line before exiting through the door and getting into the car.