I sat alone in the infirmary, the night nurse's words echoing in my mind. "Your wolf is grieving. Let her mourn."
Mourn what? The research? The years I'd wasted? Or something deeper?
"Malachi," I whispered, testing the name on my tongue after years of silence.
The room seemed to shift around me, shadows deepening in the corners. I blinked, and suddenly I wasn't alone anymore.
He stood at the foot of my bed—tall, broad-shouldered, with that familiar crooked smile that had once made my heart race. His dark hair fell across his forehead just like I remembered, and those amber eyes...
"Sloan," he said, his voice exactly as I remembered it. "You've been lost for so long."
I reached out, my fingers trembling. "Malachi? Is it really you?"
He moved closer, his hand cupping my cheek. I leaned into his touch, desperate for contact after so many years apart.
"You never loved him," Malachi said softly. "You only loved what he reminded you of."
The truth of his words hit me like a physical blow. For five years, I hadn't been looking at Nixon—I'd been looking through him, seeing only the ghost of what I'd lost.
"Cedar and rain," I whispered, the pieces finally clicking into place. "His scent..."
"A coincidence," Malachi said, his image beginning to fade. "A cruel joke of biology."
I grabbed for him, but my fingers closed on empty air. The room returned to normal, leaving me alone with the devastating clarity of what I'd done to myself.
I'd bonded with Nixon not out of love, but out of trauma—clinging to a shadow because I couldn't let go of the real thing.
---
The night air felt cool against my skin as I slipped out of the infirmary. I needed space to think, to breathe. The pack house was quiet at this hour, most members already retired to their quarters.
I found myself drawn to the parking lot behind the main building where the pack vehicles were kept. The gravel crunched softly beneath my feet as I walked aimlessly between the rows of cars and trucks.
That's when I saw it—Nixon's black SUV, parked in the far corner. At first, I thought nothing of it until I noticed the movement inside. The vehicle rocked gently back and forth.
My heart hammered against my ribs as I moved closer. The windows were tinted, but not enough to hide what was happening inside.
Nixon's hands tangled in Lana's hair as she straddled him in the driver's seat. Their movements were urgent, desperate. But what froze my blood was what they were doing with their necks—rubbing against each other's skin, marking each other with their scent.
Scent-marking was intimate—reserved for mates, for those who had completed the bonding ritual. It was sacred, private.
And they were doing it right there in the parking lot.
I watched, strangely calm, as Lana's lips brushed against Nixon's ear. "She'll never know," she whispered, loud enough for my enhanced hearing to catch. "She's too pathetic to leave."
Nixon laughed—actually laughed—before pulling her closer. "She's perfect that way."
I stepped back, my decision made before I even realized it.
---
Back in my room, I moved with mechanical precision. There would be no tears tonight—only action.
I pulled out a small leather satchel from beneath my mattress, one I'd kept hidden for emergencies. Into it went my most precious herbs, a small knife, a water purification tablet, and a compass.
Next, I retrieved a plain gray dress from my closet—the one Nixon had ordered me to wear instead of the traditional Luna colors. "Less flashy," he'd said. "More appropriate for a healer."
I folded it carefully, tucking it into the satchel. Then I strapped the bag to my thigh, securing it beneath the loose fabric of my nightgown.
My hands didn't shake. My mind didn't waver. For the first time in five years, I felt completely clear-headed.
"Goodbye, Nixon," I whispered to the empty room.
---
The morning sun painted the ceremonial clearing in shades of gold and amber. The entire pack had gathered for the Luna Crowning Ceremony, standing in neat rows according to rank.
I stood at the edge, watching as Elder Mira arranged the ceremonial items on the stone altar. The spare dress—a simple white shift with minimal decoration—hung limply from the pole where my ruined gown should have been.
Nixon stood tall and proud at the center of the altar, his Alpha aura pulsing with power. He wore his ceremonial robes, but I could smell her on him—Lana's perfume mixed with his own scent.
He smiled at me, that arrogant smile that said he knew he'd won. He believed he'd broken me into the perfect, silent doll—the perfect Luna who would never challenge him.
As Elder Mira began the ancient rites, her voice carrying across the clearing, I took a deep breath and stepped forward.
My heart pounded not with love or fear, but with pure adrenaline.
Little did Nixon know that the woman walking toward him wasn't the same one who had woken up this morning.
I was done being a shadow.
