He seemed hurt by this sentence, his face turned red, and he argued with me desperately, "Disgusting? Is that what you've always thought? You've always treated me like a dog by your side!"
I didn't want to argue with him anymore, so I shook him off and got in the car, and booked a hotel.
Samuel was still roaring behind me, "I am just a lapdog, I am just an ass-kisser!"
I closed my eyes.
When I just broke up with Michael, I lost the ability to love, and I told Samuel directly that I might never fall in love with him.
"If I like you, of course I will treat you well, you don't have to feel burdened."
These were the words he said when I clearly rejected him at that time.
And now, those proofs of his kindness that moved me have become his words of being an ass-kisser.
The next day, I made an appointment, went to the hospital, and had an abortion.
At the moment when I felt my lower abdomen empty, I still couldn't suppress the heartache.
I was no longer the Rachel Young who would die for a man's infidelity.
But I was still very sad.
My body felt cold, and the screensaver on my phone was still a photo of me and Samuel.
It turned out that he has always been unwilling. What he once desperately sought has become his stain after he got it.
The first time I was hurt in a relationship almost took my life, and it was Samuel who saved me.
I thought he would be my redemption, but I didn't expect it to be another abyss.
This time, I would save myself.
