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When I'm Not the Madre
When I'm Not the Madre

When I'm Not the Madre

9.3
/ 10
In the mafia novel When I'm Not the Madre, Vincenzo Rizzi betrays his fiancée of twelve years to engage her stepsister. After this public humiliation, she chooses to terminate their bond and seek a secret abortion, leaving the cold mafioso to face the consequences of his cruelty.

When I'm Not the Madre Summary

After twelve years of devotion, the protagonist of When I'm Not the Madre watches her fiancé, Vincenzo Rizzi, publicly engage her stepsister, Sofia, on a cargo ship. Vincenzo declares Sofia the legitimate Madre under mafia law, dismissing his former bride as a mere mistress. Quietly accepting the betrayal, she schedules an abortion and retreats to a safehouse in Sombral. Upon receiving her farewell letter, the once-indifferent Vincenzo spiraled into a breakdown that paralyzed his empire.
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Chapter 1 of When I'm Not the Madre

Before the engagement ceremony takes place, my fiance, Vincenzo Rizzi, makes a formal announcement on the deck of a cargo ship docked at the new harbor.

Apparently, my younger stepsister, Sofia Russo, will become his legitimate wife.

Vincenzo has an arm wrapped around Sofia's waist. As they stand beneath the spotlight, Vincenzo smiles tenderly at her.

"According to the mafioso's rules, only those who have received the core elders' acknowledgment shall become the Madre of the family. Others are nothing but lovers and mistresses."

Under the family elders' blessings, Vincenzo gives Sofia a black diamond necklace. Then, they exchange vows with each other and are now engaged.

I just watch the ceremony take place quietly. Then, I make an appointment to have an abortion.

I have loved Vincenzo since I was 16 years old. I'm 28 years old now, meaning I've been in love with him for 12 years. Yet, Sofia is the only one he has ever loved.

In that case, I choose to let go of him once and for all.

After that, I travel to a hidden safehouse located in Sombral. All I've left for Vincenzo is a letter stating the termination of our engagement and a farewell gift.

But the man, who has never shown concern toward me this whole time, ends up breaking down to the point he doesn't even have the mood to deal with his family matters.

The evening breeze carried the salty tang of the sea and the cold fragrance of bourbon.

Hidden in the shadows of Container No. 3 on the new dock, I clutched my gown so tightly that my fingertips turned pale.

The piercing beam of the searchlight cut through the night, illuminating the deck of the cargo ship as if it were daytime.

Vincenzo Rizzi stood at the center of the deck with his arm around Sofia Russo. Around her neck, the black diamond necklace gleamed harshly under the intense light, stinging my eyes.

That necklace was once the token of the marriage alliance between Vincenzo and me. He had caressed the gem and promised he'd love me forever.

But now, as his fingers lightly brushed the clasp on Sofia's neck, the tenderness in his eyes was something I had never seen in all our 12 years together.

Sofia was dressed in the dark red silk gown he loved most, casting her eyes down with a soft smile in the salty sea breeze. She was every bit the picture of the family's Madre.

Just then, my younger brother, Ettore Giordano, strode forward and loudly congratulated Vincenzo and Sofia, "Don Rizzi, Sofia, I couldn't be happier for you both! You two are truly the perfect match!"

At that moment, he only had eyes for Sofia, as if he had completely forgotten how her mother, Elena Caruso, had once tormented and beaten us two in the past.

Vincenzo said nothing more, his gaze lingering on Sofia. Then, he leaned down and kissed her deeply. The kiss lasted a full ten minutes, draining away 12 years of my obsession.

Sofia's legs went weak, and she leaned into his embrace. He scooped her up into his arms without hesitation, the tenderness in his eyes clear for all to see.

Seeing this, Ettore shouted even louder, "May Don Rizzi and Sofia be forever united, sharing a lifetime of love!"

The applause and cheers from the deck, carried by the sound of the waves, reached my ears. Yet, I stood frozen in place, the surrounding commotion completely cut off from me.

There was a dull and suffocating ache in my chest, as if I had been ruthlessly crushed by the dock's steel bars.

I took out my phone and dialed Vincenzo's number. The phone in his pocket vibrated, and when he glanced at the caller ID from the corner of his eyes, his face instantly darkened. At the same time, a barely noticeable flicker of panic crossed his eyes.

He was about to decline the call, but after Sofia gently touched his arm and whispered a few words in his ear, he turned impatiently and walked toward a quiet corner of the cargo ship.

With his back to the crowd, he answered the call.

"Hello?" he asked in a deliberately hushed voice, his tone filled with impatience and feigned calm.

My throat tightened, and I suppressed the surging bitterness and pain to ask, "Where are you? Didn't you promise to celebrate my birthday with me tonight?"

He scoffed, his tone dripping with scorn and disgust. Even though he kept his voice low, his subordinates nearby could faintly hear it. Clearly, he had no regard for my feelings.

"God, you're so annoying! Since you're pregnant, why don't you just stay put and quit keeping tabs on me? Isabella, do you have nothing better to do than to pester me? I already told you I'm handling urgent family matters with Sofia.

"Can't you understand that? Ettore is here, too! Only someone with a dirty mind like yours would think everything revolves around a secret affair!"

His words came rapid-fire, laced with the panic and fury of someone caught in a lie.

Vincenzo had once promised that, no matter what happened, he would be with me for my birthday every year.

My fingers holding the phone turned icy cold.

Just then, the hushed conversation of two dockworkers beside me drifted over.

"For this ceremony, Don Rizze halted arms shipment at the new dock for months. He even cleared out a cargo ship specifically to serve as the venue."

Those words shattered the last shred of hope I had been clinging to.

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