Some of my friends and relatives asked me a few questions but I managed to handle them well enough.
My parents, however, were a different story. When they found out I was no longer getting married, they were deeply disappointed. To them, five years of my youth had been wasted. No matter how much I tried to explain, they were unwilling to accept it.
I patiently explained the reason for the breakup, but nothing worked. In the end, I stopped covering for him and told them the truth. "Sonny has changed. I'll never be happy if I stay with him."
My parents did not say anything for a long time, but they finally relented because they thought my happiness was more important than anything else.
After spending hours making calls to inform everyone about the canceled wedding, I did not stay idle but immediately started packing my things.
Actually, Sonny had not come home for days, so maybe there was not any urgency to leave. However, I was too desperate to leave. I just wanted to escape and gave my aching heart a distraction.
Fortunately, I did not have many possessions, only a small collection of clothes and a few cosmetics, that could fit into a single suitcase. We hardly lived in this apartment because we only just bought it for our planned marriage.
As I packed, my gaze suddenly directed to the plants on the balcony. My money tree was gone. In its place was a blooming bluebell flower, its tiny bells swaying gently. Nicole’s WhatsApp profile picture was of a little bluebell. I closed my eyes tightly as tears seeped from my eyes then I quickly wiped them away.
I took one last look around the apartment that I and Sonny had decorated together. Five years together no doubt had accumulated many good memories. Sonny had become an integral part of my life. In every vision that I had about my future, he was always there and I believed he would be the one person I would grow old with.
Yet, reality was like this. The script of life was rarely smooth sailing. It was normal to have a roadblock along the way. However, I had never expected that the biggest obstacle would be Sonny.
My hand on the door handle began to shake uncontrollably and my eyes began to blur. In my daze, I almost could see the younger version of Sonny. The boy who accompanied me to climb a mountain so we could hang up our love token high up on the wishing tree. He had placed it high up at the highest branch and made a wish sincerely. “I wish,” he had whispered, “for Bella to be the happiest woman in the world and us to grow old together, year after year.”
The man from those memories was almost too perfect. The current version of him no longer deserved the beautiful journey we had shared. The happiness we had once had was now gone, vanished like smoke. The boy who had once offered his whole heart to me was long lost, replaced by a man full of bitterness and mistrust.
If the end was in a painful and disgraceful way, it would be better to end it early.
As I closed the apartment door, I also shut away the five years of love I had for Sonny.
I then moved to the apartment that my parent had bought for me a long time ago. It was not as luxurious as the one I shared with Sonny but the location was great and it was much more convenient for her job. Since I was alone, I did not need anything too spacious.
Though the wedding was off, I was not ready to officially break things off just yet. I hoped the distance would turn this into a slow, inevitable goodbye, gradually extinguishing any lingering feelings for him.
Once everything was settled, I sat by the window.
The autumn rain drizzled endlessly as droplets clung to the glass and soaked the world in cold, bone-chilling dampness.
I looked through the photo album on her phone and scrolled through picture after picture of the two of them. One by one, I recalled every memory and then deleted them, one at a time.
In their first year together, we traveled to Paektu Mountain to watch the snow.
In the second year, we kissed under the fireworks at Disneyland.
In the third year, we worked hard side by side as we were making plans to build a life and a home together.
