Torn Between Alpha And His Brother

CELESTINA VILLARAMA’s POV

Years have already passed by ever since the world has started to crumble. Humans weren't able to find a cure for their world. They were already fortunate enough that their lives have been spared, that only a few among them lost their lives.

And luckily, I am one of those people.

I used to live in a small town and had met a man who has never failed to make me happy. His presence made my life glorious and he was willing to spend every moment he got with me.

He was called "Ice". He had been there through thick and thin, and never let anything get on his nerves. I loved him dearly as well. In fact, even though he left, I still remember all the things we did together. We used to play games, we read books together, we went out to eat and buy clothes; he was like a brother to me.

There wasn’t a single day that I didn’t pray and wish upon the stars that he would come back for good one day, after leaving me with promises that someday, he’ll come back home and stay alive.

“Celestina,” mom called me with such a faint voice.

My heart was skipping a beat, not due to excitement, I rather felt that she wouldn’t be giving me any good news at all.

I stood in front of her and she held both of my hands, her grip tightened at the same time that she bit her lower lip. “I don’t want to prolong what I have to say. Your boyfriend, Ice… he died while fighting in another war with nature. We saw him assisting other people to escape the continuous and unstoppable disasters. Your father tried to help Ice but it was useless.”

I couldn’t blink. I stared at her blankly as I tried to process what she had just told me. “That can’t be true, mom…” I wailed, as I couldn’t see any reason why I should still smile, not anymore. I refused to believe her, I just wanted Ice to come home so badly. I couldn’t stop myself from crying when she told me the news, it was as if something inside me broke.

My father came barging in the house and by the time that we made eye contact, he immediately embraced me. “I’m sorry, Celestina… I’ve tried everything to save Ice, but… it was too late. He really didn’t survive…” he said in between his voice cracks.

Days went by, I believed that Ice would come back that night, but he never did.

It was as if our whole world was crushed around us. I had barely spoken to anyone besides the people at the church, and the rest of our family wasn't talking either. Everyone blamed me for Ice’s death, that I was a woman who never cared about her lover. I knew they meant no harm, they just wanted their son back, but it was as if they were telling me that it would be better for me to replace Ice on his deathbed.

My mom eventually took me to see Dr. Vlad, she said I wouldn't get better if I didn't talk to someone about my situation. She offered me counseling services and I accepted. She explained the dangers of depression and the risk of not being able to return to the normal state of my mental health. I didn't want that, so I decided that it was best for me to try to get over it on my own. But it didn't end there, after all, I could see myself being depressed, to the point that I was able to see ghosts, dream of things which couldn't possibly happen. The last thing I wanted to do was go insane too.

So I worked hard to get better, to stop hallucinating, to sleep peacefully and keep myself away from the worst thoughts. And it worked! It worked for almost a year, until one day, one day, everything changed.

My world stopped spinning, the voices disappeared, and suddenly the ghosts became visible to me again. For the next couple of weeks, I saw everything differently, the darkness of the woods turned blue instead of brown. My mother started crying more often, and sometimes I heard my dad's voice too. At times it seemed like he wasn't really here, but I knew that he was.

One evening, I found myself in the woods. As soon as I stepped off the sidewalk to get closer to the trees, I felt the cold wind hit my skin. I shivered. What could make the air this cold? There had to be some kind of explanation, because nothing could cause such weather.

After that, I began walking more often, looking up at the dark sky. I didn't notice that I was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. I wasn't aware that I was going to fall until I fell.

But when you know that you're falling, how can you be surprised?

As I looked down at my body, I realized I had fallen into the abyss, and I was floating in a white space without pain. For a moment, I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see anything anymore. It would be easier not to think about what happened, because then, I wouldn't have to suffer.

But the silence was broken by a voice whispering to my ear. "Are you really okay?"

The question made me open my eyes, and I saw a strange figure standing before me. Everything around it was pitch black, and yet its face remained lit up in reds, oranges and yellows. This was probably a person, but how could a person be here, floating in emptiness?

Suddenly, the figure moved towards me and touched my arm with its glowing fingers. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head. My heart was beating so fast, I wondered if I was having a heart attack. Why am I here? And why would this person care?

"I'm glad," said the person as it turned itself towards me.

What was it? A shadow? A ghost? A spirit? No...it wasn't a real person, was it? Maybe an illusion? Or maybe I was dying and this is my death?