The chapel doors closed behind me with a soft click, sealing away the bustling hospital sounds and leaving me in blessed silence. I sank into the last pew, my cheek still burning from Margaret's slap. The wooden bench felt cool and solid beneath me—something real to anchor myself to when everything else seemed to be spinning out of control.
Stained glass cast colored shadows across the small space. Red, blue, and amber light danced over my trembling hands as I twisted my wedding ring around and around. The simple gold band that had once symbolized such hope now felt like a shackle, binding me to a family that would never truly accept me.
"What am I doing?" I whispered to the empty chapel. My voice sounded strange, almost foreign to my own ears.
Tomorrow morning, I would be prepped for surgery. They would extract my bone marrow—cells from the very core of me—to save a woman who had just humiliated me in front of strangers. A woman who had spent years making me feel unwelcome in my own marriage.
I touched my wedding ring again, remembering the day James had slipped it on my finger. How hopeful I'd been then, desperate for the family I'd lost when my parents died. How naïve to think I could fill that emptiness with Margaret's approval.
The chapel door creaked open. I didn't need to turn around to know it was James—his footsteps were as familiar to me as my own heartbeat.
"Lila." His voice was soft, hesitant. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
I didn't answer. What was there to say? That I was hiding? That I needed space from the family I was literally giving part of myself to save?
He slid into the pew beside me, leaving a careful few inches between us. "Your cheek is red."
"It'll fade," I said, still not looking at him.
"I'm sorry." The words hung in the air between us, as inadequate as they were familiar. How many times had James apologized for his mother? Fifty? A hundred? I'd lost count years ago.
"She shouldn't have done that," he continued when I remained silent. "She's just... the illness is making her more volatile. You know she doesn't really mean—"
"Don't." I finally turned to face him. "Don't tell me she doesn't mean it. She's always meant it, James. The illness just gives her permission to say it out loud."
James ran a hand through his hair—a nervous habit I once found endearing. Now it just reminded me of his perpetual indecision.
"What do you want me to do, Lila?" Frustration edged his voice. "She's dying. Am I supposed to cut her off? Tell her she's wrong when she might not have much time left?"
"And what about me?" The question was quiet but it landed between us like a stone. "Where do I fit in all this?"
James reached for my hand, his fingers brushing against my wedding ring. "I love you. You know that."
"Love isn't always enough, is it?" I pulled my hand away gently.
"I don't know how to defend you without destroying my relationship with her." The admission seemed to pain him physically. "And now with her condition..."
I nodded slowly. "I understand."
And I did understand. That was the tragedy of it all. I understood James's impossible position because I'd helped create it, stepping back time and again, swallowing hurts and insults to keep the peace. Just as I was doing now by keeping my donation a secret.
"I should go," I said, rising from the pew. "Dr. Chen wanted to go over some final details before tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" James looked confused. "What's happening tomorrow?"
I hesitated, the truth on the tip of my tongue. But something held me back—perhaps the memory of Margaret's palm against my cheek, or the knowledge that even this sacrifice might not be enough to earn her respect.
"Just some tests," I lied, moving past him toward the door. "Nothing important."
As I left the chapel, I could feel James watching me, sensing the distance growing between us—a distance measured not in steps but in unspoken truths and divided loyalties.
I touched my cheek one last time, wondering if the mark of Margaret's hand would still be visible tomorrow when they wheeled me into surgery to extract the gift she didn't yet know I was giving her.
