That luxury car had become Philippa's personal ride now.
After all the chaos, the sky had gone fully bright.
Sleep was out of the question, so I went and printed out the divorce agreement.
When I got home, I found Robert standing right outside my door.
I was a little stunned. This was the first time he'd ever come looking for me on his own.
"Last night, I said things I shouldn't have. But you really shouldn't have treated my friend that way. Just go apologize to Philippa, and we'll put the whole thing behind us."
When I'd been leaving yesterday, I'd overheard Philippa say something.
"Ethel turned out this way because you spoiled her. She needs to be taught a real lesson."
"And if you can't bring yourself to do it, I'll do it for you!"
She'd rattled off a whole list of ways to "train" me.
Financial control. The silent treatment. Mind games.
It took me a long while to realize.
Robert had already been using every one of those tactics on me.
He belittled my body, called me a useless housewife with nothing to offer.
He said my voice was grating, nowhere near as soft as Philippa's.
And whenever I pushed back, Robert would blow up at me.
"What is there to compare? Philippa actually shares my burdens at work. Can you?"
"She's a top graduate who studied abroad. What gives you the right to put yourself in the same league as her?"
But back then, if it hadn't been for Robert, I never would have become a housewife in the first place.
Since he didn't value anything I'd given up, then fine, let's divorce.
I shoved the divorce agreement into Robert's hands, opened the door, and went back into my room.
Robert followed close behind, wrapping his arms tightly around me from behind.
"Stop throwing a fit. I apologized, didn't I?"
His hands kept roaming over my body.
"I know I've neglected you lately. You're angry, I get it. I'll agree to have a baby with you. Isn't that enough?"
I broke free and shoved Robert away with everything I had.
"Don't touch me. You disgust me!"
Robert slammed into the wall.
His eyes darkened with anger.
But before he could even erupt, my vision went black, and I suddenly collapsed.
When I woke again, I was in a hospital.
My head still felt foggy, and I couldn't open my eyes.
But faint, breathy moans drifted to my ears.
"Robert, doing it like this is so thrilling."
"But what if Ethel suddenly wakes up and finds out about us?"
Robert's voice was low and muffled, like he was holding back.
"She won't."
"I had the doctor slip her some extra sedatives. She won't wake up that easily."
"We can take the chance and enjoy ourselves for a while."
From the bed on the other side of the curtain came the violent sounds of bodies colliding.
I could just make out two tangled silhouettes.
My stomach churned with revulsion.
I wanted to throw up, but my body lurched and tumbled off the bed before I could control it.
The noise interrupted the two of them.
Robert hastily fastened his buttons and turned to look at me.
"You're awake, Ethel?"
"Philippa was worried about you, so she brought a gift to come check on you."
The so-called gift was a half-eaten bowl of leftover seafood porridge.
A thick spoonful of peanut butter had been smeared on top.
Just as nauseating as the two people in front of me.
Robert didn't notice anything was off with me and kept talking.
"Ethel, a fight's a fight, but don't punish your own body to spite me, okay? A high fever, passing out like that. You really scared me this time."
"You don't know why I came down with a fever?"
Who left me out in the rain? Who made me run around outside all night?
Who said he'd take me to the hospital, then turned around and went drinking with his friends?
Robert looked away, a flicker of guilt on his face.
"Let's not get into all that. Come on, eat something. Philippa made this especially for you."
