The moment I thought of it, my stomach dropped.
I hurried home on the bus, and the moment I walked in I saw Elaine and my mother in a crowd of relatives.
"Think back to when Elaine's parents died so early in that car crash. If it weren't for your Aunt Letitia, she'd never have had it this good."
"Absolutely. She really raised her like her own daughter."
"Oh, Sibyl's back too."
I didn't bother answering my aunt. I just held out my hand to my mother.
"Where's the money?"
The air went dead silent. My mother's face was cold.
“What, your family didn't cover your tuition? You need people to chip in for you?”
“Or have you grown a spine, thinking three grand is enough to put yourself through college on your own?”
No matter how she spun it, that money was mine.
I looked at her and repeated what I'd just said, word for word.
“The three thousand. Hand it over.”
Elaine caught the moment and, ever so thoughtful, took hold of my arm.
She pointed at the brand-new graphics card sitting unopened in the living room.
“I'm so sorry, Sibyl. Aunt Letitia was a little short when she bought my gift, so she used it to cover the balance.”
“If you really need the money, I'll go return it.”
But my mother threw out a hand to stop her.
“Return nothing. It was bought for you, so you keep it.”
“She's going to be living at home anyway. What does she need all that cash on her for? If something comes up, she'll just turn to the family for help.”
With that, she went back inside, came out with the reward coupons, and pressed them into my hand.
She said the money would count as a loan from me, and she'd pay it back next time.
But this time, looking at the worthless little cards in my palm, something in me went still and dead.
In front of everyone, I threw the coupons into the trash and strode toward the door.
If Elaine had always been their first choice, then I would make myself my own only one.
That night, a crowd of them sat clustered around Elaine in the living room, chatting.
My mother, though, walked into my room alone, and the sight of the metal box in the trash caught her eye at once.
She opened it and looked at the coupons packed inside, right to the brim.
Her heart sank.
She glanced around at the bare, shabby furnishings of the room, and it seemed to hit her only then, all those years of neglecting me.
After a long while, she sent several voice messages to my phone.
“Sibyl, honey, it's dark out and it's dangerous for a girl to be alone. Whatever it is, come home and we'll talk.”
“The three thousand was Mom's fault. I've transferred it to you.”
“Elaine's already been to Disney World, so this time we'll go to Hawaii. Mom will have your brother book the tickets……”
But I looked at the messages, and not a ripple stirred in me.
Some things, if I never had them before, I no longer needed at all.
