“Food's a little dirty, but you can still pick through it. You and your mom probably eat the Mortons' leftovers all the time anyway, right?”
“A broke nobody like you thinking he deserves Willow? Her and Clyde are the real deal!”
I said nothing. Tossed my jacket, bought a cup of instant noodles, and headed back to the dorm.
The second I walked in, I saw it. Every color of paint, splashed across my bedding.
Patrick and our other roommate were out. Only Steve Perry was there.
I looked at his darting eyes and didn't say a word. Just gathered the sheets and comforter into my arms and carried them to the washroom.
My mother had sewn this bedding by hand, stitch by stitch. I wasn't throwing it away.
It took hours to scrub the paint out. When I finally got back, the door was deadbolted from the inside.
I stood there a moment, then knocked softly.
“Steve. Can you let me in?”
His voice came through the door, strained and helpless.
“Toby, please don't make this harder for me.”
“Clyde's uncle knows the boss at the company that hired me. One word from Clyde and I lose everything. Can you just not be selfish about this?”
My hand froze against the door, then dropped to my side.
I didn't understand. Yes, I had feelings for Willow.
But I'd never hurt anyone. Why was I the one being punished?
My phone rang. Willow.
“Getting bold, aren't you, Little Toby? You didn't even know I got a new phone? Add my new account already.”
“I'm in Switzerland with Clyde, skiing. The food here is terrible. When I get back you'd better cook me something good. If you behave, maybe I'll bring you along next time so you can see the world.”
“Hello? Why aren't you talking? Gone mute again?”
Her thesis defense for business management was already over. No wonder she had time to kill.
Any other day I would've asked what she wanted to eat. But right now I was just so tired.
“Willow, there's something I need to tell you……”
She cut me off before I could finish, her voice sharp with alarm.
“Don't tell me you're pulling some last-day-of-college stunt where you confess your feelings and then threaten to freeze yourself to death if I say no?”
“Please. Just don't. Think about who you are and who I am. If I'm picking someone, obviously it's going to be someone like Clyde.”
“I've got you on speaker right now, by the way. My friends are all listening. Don't make yourself a stain on my life.”
Then she seemed to remember something.
“Oh, right. Clyde wants to train at Morton Group for a while after graduation, but that position's full. So you should go be a janitor first. I mean, you already help your mom clean all the time at home anyway.”
“Once he moves back to his family's company, you can have the spot. Gotta go, looks like Clyde took a fall on the slopes. Bye.”
My chest felt packed with cotton—thick, bitter, suffocating.
I pressed my hands over my face and laughed at myself, and the tears leaked out between my fingers.
So that's what I was. A stain on her life.
No matter how hard I tried, to Willow I'd never be anything more than the housekeeper's kid.
Curfew had passed. I sat in the freezing corridor, locked out and locked in.
Just like all those years living under the Mortons' roof.
The next morning, I packed my things and went back to the Morton residence.
My mother startled when she saw me：
“Toby, I thought you said you weren't coming home until after your defense on Tuesday?”
I didn't want her to worry. I just smiled.
“Couple days won't make a difference. I missed you.”
Then I collapsed.
When I opened my eyes again, I learned I'd spiked a fever. A hundred and two.
My mother stroked my face, hurting for me.
“The bedding you brought home was soaking wet. My boy. Someone hurt you, didn't they?”
“Was it because of……Miss Morton?”
I didn't answer. I just buried my face against her waist, my voice muffled：
