Ellen POV:
My muscles reacted before my brain did. I shoved my right hand behind my back, pressing the vibrating phone hard against the small of my spine. My heart slammed against my ribs so violently I thought it would crack the bone.
I snatched the yellow dusting rag from the floor with my left hand and forced the corners of my mouth upward.
"Just getting the dust off the bed frame," I said. My voice trembled, a pathetic, wavering sound born from a decade of financial dependence and trained submission.
Adrian rubbed the bridge of his nose. His eyes were bloodshot and heavy with sleep. He didn't even look at my face. He just glared at the vacuum cleaner lying on the rug.
"The vacuum is too loud," he muttered, his voice thick with annoyance. He rolled over, pulling the duvet up over his shoulder, turning his broad back to me.
A cold sweat broke out across my shoulder blades. The dampness soaked right through my cotton t-shirt. My legs felt like liquid lead.
I held my breath and slowly pushed myself up from the floor. I kept my right hand pinned behind my back. I took a step backward, then another, moving in agonizing slow motion toward the master bathroom.
I slipped through the doorway and gently pulled the heavy wooden door shut. I twisted the lock. The metal deadbolt slid into place with a solid thud.
I leaned back against the cold porcelain tiles of the bathroom door and gasped for air. My lungs burned. I reached over and flicked on the exhaust fan. The loud, mechanical humming filled the small space, giving me a shield of white noise.
I brought my right hand to the front. The black iPhone was still in my palm.
I swiped up to unlock it. The iMessage from "My Love" was still waiting in the notification center.
I clamped my jaw shut, pressing my teeth together until they ached, and tapped the banner. The screen transitioned directly into their text thread.
The newest message was a fifteen-second video file. Below it, a caption read: *Look at our little man go.*
My thumb hovered over the play button. I tapped it.
The video showed a bright, sunlit park. The mixed-race boy from the wallpaper, Angel, was sitting on a brand-new, custom-painted Trek children's bicycle. He was wearing a high-end aerodynamic helmet.
"Daddy, look how fast I can ride!" the boy yelled into the camera, his voice high and joyful.
From behind the lens, a woman laughed. It was a sweet, melodic sound laced with a heavy Texas drawl. "You're doing so good, baby," she cooed.
I stared at the Trek logo on the bike frame. Those bikes cost over a thousand dollars. Just last week, I spent three hours driving across town to buy our son, Cameron, a rusted, fifty-dollar used bike from a Craigslist stranger because Adrian said we needed to tighten our belts.
A tear broke free and hit the phone screen, distorting the image of the thousand-dollar bike.
I scrolled up, my finger swiping aggressively through the chat history. I found Adrian’s replies from late last night.
*Baby, just be patient a little longer,* Adrian had written. *Once I get the year-end company options, I’ll permanently deal with the burden in Los Angeles.*
The burden.
The word sliced through my chest like a serrated hunting knife. I gave up my Cornell architecture scholarship for him. I spent ten years cooking his meals, ironing his shirts, and raising his legitimate son. To him, I wasn't a wife. I was a logistical problem to be eliminated.
A violent wave of nausea hit my stomach. I dropped to my knees, lunged toward the toilet, and threw up.
I gagged, my hands gripping the porcelain rim as acidic bile burned my throat. I coughed, tears and snot running down my face, feeling more pathetic and broken than I ever had in my entire life.
I reached up and slammed the flusher. The rushing water drowned out my ragged breathing. I dragged myself up to the double vanity and turned on the cold water. I cupped my hands and splashed the freezing water onto my face over and over again.
I looked up at the mirror. The woman staring back at me had dark circles under her eyes, fine lines forming at the corners, and was wearing a faded, dust-covered t-shirt. I looked like a joke. A cheap, disposable joke.
I wiped my face with a towel and picked up the phone from the counter. I had to know how deep this grave went.
I scrolled further up the text thread. An image file loaded. It was a screenshot of a bank transfer. The amount was $8,000. The memo line read: *Angel’s private kindergarten sponsorship fee.*
A bitter, hysterical laugh clawed its way out of my throat. Last month, Cameron begged to join the community center swimming class. It cost two hundred dollars. Adrian had yelled at me for an hour about inflation and irresponsible spending, forcing me to tell our seven-year-old son no.
Every word, every transaction on this screen was a mockery of my entire existence. He hoarded pennies in Los Angeles so he could rain thousands in Austin.
Suddenly, the brass doorknob of the bathroom rattled. The metal clicked sharply as someone tried to twist it from the outside.
I froze, the phone slipping slightly in my wet hands.
"Ellen?" Adrian’s voice barked through the wood, thick with morning irritation. "Why is the door locked?"
"I'll be right out, my stomach is a little upset."
