Three days blurred into a fever dream. Niklas trained me relentlessly each night, pushing my body until exhaustion set in and my muscles screamed. His methods were unforgiving, yet strangely patient. When I faltered, he offered no mockery, only the demand to repeat the action. Again. And again. And again.
I began to shift on command. Not fully-not yet-but enough. Enough to fight. Enough to survive. The wolf within me was transforming. It was no longer a mere wild animal; it was me. And I was starting to perceive the world with a newfound understanding. The intricate stories carried on the wind, the vivid landscapes painted by sounds, and the undeniable scent of Niklas when he was near-a scent that was both home and danger, a pull I simultaneously craved and fled.
"Your focus is slipping," Niklas stated one evening, after I missed a block for the third time.
"My focus is fine."
"Your focus is on me. Not on the fight."
I opened my mouth to protest, but the words caught in my throat. He was right. My attention was perpetually drawn to him: the ripple of his muscles beneath his skin, the quickening of his breath during our spars, the darkening of his eyes when I landed a hit.
"You're imagining things," I countered.
Niklas moved closer. "Am I?"
"Back off."
"Make me."
The wolf surged within me. I welcomed it. For a fleeting, exhilarating second, I transformed my hands into claws and slashed at his chest. He dodged, a mere hair's breadth away, and let out a laugh.
"Better," he conceded. "Now do it again."
That night, sleep eluded me. I lay on my cot, staring at the ceiling, replaying Niklas's words: his deceased wife, his animosity towards half-bloods, and the way he looked at me when he believed I wasn't watching.
Mate, the wolf whispered insistently.
Stop saying that, I willed it.
It doesn't cease to be true simply because you refuse to acknowledge it.
A shadow flickered across my window. I sat up, my heart pounding. The window was small, far too narrow for a person to pass through, yet the shadow was undeniably human-shaped.
"Relax," a voice soothed. "It's just me."
Kianuk emerged from the darkness. He wore the same bone necklace as before, but his attire had changed-leather and fur, suggesting he had journeyed from a place considerably colder than Istanbul.
"How did you get in here?" I whispered.
"The Council's walls are ancient. They possess... vulnerabilities." He offered a smile. "Get dressed. I'm taking you somewhere."
"Where?"
"The forest. The real one. Not the training grounds."
A sensible part of me urged refusal. I should have remained in my cell, awaiting Niklas for our next session. Yet, Kianuk's calm demeanor and gentle eyes instilled a sense of trust. I pulled on my boots and followed him into the night.
The forest surrounding us was unlike the designated training area. It felt older, wilder. Ancient trees, their roots deeply embedded in the earth, stretched their branches towards the stars like grasping hands. The air was thick with the scent of moss, decay, and something else-a familiar aroma that stirred memories of my father.
"Where are we?" I inquired.
"Outside the Council's jurisdiction," Kianuk replied. "A neutral territory. The packs utilize it for rituals and meetings the Council need not be privy to."
"And what are we doing here?"
Kianuk halted and turned to face me. In the moonlight, his dark skin seemed to radiate a subtle glow, and his ancient, knowing eyes met mine.
"I'm going to teach you what Niklas cannot," he stated. "Not how to fight. How to be."
"I already know how to be."
"Do you?" He tilted his head. "You are a half-blood, Elif. Torn between two worlds. Too human for the wolves. Too wolf for the humans. You've spent your entire life feeling like an error."
My throat tightened. "How do you know that?"
"Because I once walked in your shoes. I am also a half-blood." He sat on a fallen log, gesturing for me to join him. "I lead because I am a half-blood, not in spite of it." He scooped up a handful of soil, letting it sift through his fingers. "The purebloods deem us inferior. Broken. But they are mistaken. We are not broken, Elif. We are bridges."
"Bridges?"
"Between the human world and the wolf world. Between instinct and reason. Between wildness and civilization." He looked at me intently. "Your father understood this. That is why he commanded such respect. Not for his strength, but for his balance."
I remembered my father-a man I barely recalled, who had died with unspoken secrets. "He never told me any of this."
"He was protecting you, just as I protect my own daughter." Kianuk reached into his pocket, retrieving a small leather pouch. "This is an Alaskan ritual. We call it the 'Breath of the Ancestors.' It will help you connect with the wolf within you-not as a master or a servant, but as a partner."
He opened the pouch and poured a glittering powder into his palm. It shimmered in the moonlight, a celestial blend of silver and blue, like crushed stars.
"What is that?"
"Ground wolf bone. Moonflower petals. And a drop of my own blood." He extended his hand towards me. "Breathe it in. But be cautious. The vision it imparts will reveal your true self. And truth is not always easily perceived."
Hesitantly, I leaned forward and inhaled.
The world dissolved into a kaleidoscope of color.
I was running. Not as a human, nor as a wolf, but as something in between. My paws met the earth, and I felt every particle of soil, every blade of grass, the very heartbeat of every creature within a mile's radius. The forest stretched before me, ancient and boundless.
In the distance, I saw her. A wolf, as white as snow, with eyes like molten gold. She ran parallel to me, her movements a perfect echo of my own.
Who are you? I thought.
You know who I am, she replied. I am you. The you that you have been trying to conceal.
I'm not hiding.
You are. You hide from Niklas. You hide from your power. You hide from the truth your father died to protect.
What truth?
The white wolf ceased her run and turned to face me. Her eyes-my eyes-held a profound sorrow.
The relic is not an object, she conveyed. It is a person. And that person is you.
I awoke with a gasp. Kianuk knelt beside me, his hand cool on my forehead. His eyes were etched with concern.
"What did you see?" he asked.
"I saw... myself. A white wolf. She said the relic is me."
Kianuk's expression remained steady, but a flicker of something akin to fear crossed his eyes.
"We need to leave," he urged. "Now."
"Why? What's happening?"
"The Council cannot discover this. If they learn what you are..." He pulled me to my feet. "They will not seek to use you, Elif. They will seek to destroy you."
We fled.
We were halfway back to the stronghold when Niklas intercepted us. He emerged from the trees like a phantom, his eyes blazing with an intensity I had never witnessed.
"What," he growled, his voice low and menacing, "is she doing with you?"
Kianuk stepped forward, shielding me with his body. "She needed to learn. You were not teaching her what she needed."
"What she needed?" Niklas's laugh was a cold, harsh sound. "You mean you were filling her head with your Alaskan superstitions. Telling her she's special. Telling her she's more than she is."
"She is more than you perceive her to be."
"Step aside, old man."
"No."
Niklas moved. He was astonishingly fast, faster than I had ever seen him. His fist connected with Kianuk's jaw, sending the older shifter stumbling back. Before Kianuk could recover, Niklas had him by the throat, pinning him against a tree.
"I warned you," Niklas snarled. "Stay away from her."
"Niklas, stop!" I grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away. "He wasn't hurting me! He was helping me!"
"Helping you?" Niklas's head snapped towards me, his eyes wild. "Do you know what he is? He's a half-blood sympathizer. He wants to turn you against the Council. Against me."
"He's my teacher! Not you!"
The words hung heavy in the air between us. Niklas released Kianuk and turned to face me fully, his chest heaving, his eyes blazing.
"Your teacher?" he echoed. "I've been the one training you. I've been the one keeping you alive. And you go behind my back with him?"
"I didn't go behind your back. I went to someone who actually understands what I'm going through."
"And I don't?"
"You called me a dirty blood the first time we met!"
"Because I was scared!"
The forest fell silent. Even the wind seemed to hold its breath. Niklas stared at me, his expression raw and unguarded for the first time. "I was scared," he repeated, his voice softer. "Because I felt something when I looked at you. Something I haven't felt since Liesel died. And I didn't know what to do with it."
"So you decided to hate me instead?"
"I decided to protect myself."
"By hurting me?"
"By keeping you at a distance." He stepped closer. "But it didn't work. Nothing works. You're in my head, Elif. In my blood. In my bones. And I can't get you out."
I should have turned and fled back to the stronghold, never looking back. But I didn't. I stepped closer to him.
"Then stop trying," I said.
His hand rose to my face, slow and tentative, as if approaching a wounded animal. His fingers brushed my cheek, my jaw, the corner of my lips.
"Tell me to stop," he whispered.
"I won't."
"Tell me."
"No."
His other hand found my waist, pulling me against him with an urgent force. I felt the undeniable press of his body against mine, the heat emanating from him, the hardness, the frantic rhythm of his heart mirroring my own.
"This is a mistake," he murmured.
"Probably."
"We shouldn't."
"I know."
He kissed me. It was not gentle, not soft, but desperate, hungry, and laced with anger-a consuming embrace that felt like both an attack and a salvation. His teeth grazed my lower lip, his tongue claimed mine, and his hands slid beneath my shirt, gripping my bare skin, drawing me closer still. I returned the kiss with every fiber of my being. The wolf within me howled with pure joy.
Mate, it sang. Mate. Mate. MATE.
We broke apart, gasping for air. Niklas's forehead rested against mine, his eyes closed, his jaw tight.
"I can't," he rasped. "I can't want you like this. It's not right."
"Since when has anything about us been right?"
He let out a broken, breathless laugh. "Fair point."
He pulled away, his hands leaving my skin, the absence a palpable wound. "We should go," he said. "Before someone finds us."
He turned and began to walk.
"Niklas."
He stopped.
"Thank you," I said. "For being honest with me."
He didn't turn. "Don't thank me. I'm still figuring out if I'm your salvation or your destruction."
He walked into the darkness. I followed.
We were nearing the stronghold when Niklas stopped again.
"Wait," he commanded.
"What is it?"
He turned to face me. In the dim torchlight, his expression was unreadable.
"Your shirt," he said. "It's torn."
I looked down. He was correct. During the struggle, or perhaps the kiss, the fabric had ripped, exposing the skin just above my collarbone.
"It's nothing," I said, pulling the torn material together.
"No. Let me see."
He stepped closer. His fingers brushed the torn fabric aside, revealing the skin beneath. Then he froze.
"Niklas? What's wrong?"
He was staring at my chest, at the spot just above my heart. At something I had never noticed before-a small, circular scar, resembling a bite mark.
"How did you get this?" he whispered.
"I don't know. I've had it as long as I can remember."
His hand trembled. His face had gone pale.
"Elif," he said, his voice barely audible. "This isn't just a scar."
"What is it?"
He looked up at me, his eyes wide with horror and an emotion I couldn't decipher. "This..." He touched the scar with his fingertip. "This is my tooth mark."
"What?"
"I know it. I remember it." He stepped back, his hand falling to his side. "Ten years ago. In a forest. There was a girl. A half-blood girl. I bit her to save her life. To mark her. To claim her as mine so the others wouldn't kill her."
My blood ran cold.
"Who was the girl?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
Niklas looked at me, and in his eyes, the world shifted irrevocably.
"It was you," he said. "We've met before, Elif. And I think... I think I've been in love with you since I was fifteen years old."
The torches flickered. The wind howled. And the world as I knew it shattered into a million pieces.
