1: 1
At the end of the year, my cousin called me.
"Clementine Henson, business at your dealership must be pretty bad with all the electric cars eating up the market, right?"
"It's the end of the year, and everybody's looking to buy. Might as well keep the money in the family, so we all agreed we'd help you out. Just sell them to us at a thousand a car."
Sure, gas cars had taken a beating from the electric ones, and business wasn't what it used to be. Prices had been cut again and again.
But even the cheapest car in my showroom, after every discount, still ran sixty or seventy grand.
The pricey ones went into the hundreds of thousands. How did she have the nerve to say a thousand?
I was about to shut her down when she cheerfully added:
"I've got at least a hundred people ready to buy in a group this time. You'll be counting cash till your hands cramp. Just sit back and enjoy it."
I was half out of my mind with anger. I turned her down flat. "Thanks, but no. I can't sell at that price."
What I didn't expect was for her to turn right around and tell the whole family group chat:
"Everyone, all you aunts and uncles, I've already worked it out with Clementine. Her dealership can't move its cars, so she's giving all of you a friends-and-family price of a thousand a car. Get your money ready and come pick whatever you want."
The chat exploded. Everyone praised Tracey Henson like she was a saint.
She took all the glory. The bankruptcy would be mine.
A thousand a car got passed from mouth to mouth, until it added up to more than four hundred orders.
No matter how I explained it, they acted like they were possessed, insisting they'd show up at the dealership right on time to collect their cars at a thousand each.
By the end of it, I couldn't help but laugh.
They all wanted to bankrupt me.
But the way I saw it, weren't they all just lambs waiting to be slaughtered?
1
I'd just finished telling my cousin Tracey that this price was absolutely out of the question.
But Tracey did whatever she pleased. She turned right around and announced it to the group chat.
In under a day, she'd racked up more than three hundred orders.
She called me, gloating.
"Clementine, you see how excited everyone is now?"
"I brought you more than three hundred orders this time. Not even your top salesperson could pull that off, could they?"
"Remember to order in plenty of good cars from the factory so everyone has a decent selection."
"We'll pay in full at a thousand a car, every cent, no delays. You just wait, you'll be counting cash till your hands cramp, hiding under the covers laughing to yourself."
A thousand a car.
And they got to pick whatever they wanted.
And I'd be losing money? And laughing to myself?
That would bankrupt me on the spot.
Afraid this would spiral out of control, I choked down the urge to lose it and rushed to explain in the group chat:
"Everyone, thank you all for the thought, but I really don't have any cars at a thousand each in my showroom."
Uncle Marvin wrote:
"Clemmie, honey, a thousand a car isn't bad. Just make a little less this once, and help an old man's dream of owning a car come true."
I quickly explained:
"Uncle Marvin, it's not about making more or less. Even a used car doesn't go for that price."
Uncle Marvin was displeased.
"See how stingy you're being?"
"Tracey already told us your markup on cars is unbelievable. Otherwise how would you be this rich, living in a mansion in the city and driving a luxury car?"
My aunt piled on too:
"That's right, Clemmie. We're all family. Just make a little less and let your poor relatives get a bit of a break, would that kill you?"
Down below, Tracey added:
"Clementine, did you get rich and forget where you came from? Do you look down on your poor relatives now, and that's why you won't sell to everyone?"
She said it to stir the pot on purpose, and just like that a whole crowd turned on me.
"Clementine, this is out of line, don't you think?"
"We treated you just fine when you were little. Now you've made it and you can't be bothered with your own family?"
"Back when your father broke his leg, he borrowed fifty bucks off us to get to the hospital. Without that kindness, your father would be a cripple right now!"
"No kidding. A few years back I only borrowed eighty grand off her, and after just three years she's on my case about paying it back. It's not like I wasn't going to. We're family, is it really necessary?"
"Same with the hundred grand she lent me five years ago. Every year she drops these little hints, reminding me to pay it back. I've had it. We're family, is it really necessary? Out of spite, I'm just not paying her back. Hmph! Like she can do anything about it!"
"Exactly. Her cars are sitting there collecting dust. She'd rather let them rot than sell to us."
"We're your own family and friends. You can't be this cold, showing no feeling at all."
One after another they worked themselves up, righteous and loud.
Bringing up the fifty bucks they'd once lent my family, or the two sacks of rice.
It was another way of holding me hostage.
As if not caving to them would make me the criminal.
But there really was no car that cheap.
And I really couldn't say yes.
More than three hundred cars, at a thousand each. If I agreed, I'd go bankrupt right where I stood, and then go jump off a building.
I was shaking with anger, but I forced myself to keep explaining:
"Everyone, let me say it one more time. It's not that I don't care about family. There just isn't any car at that price."
"The cars in my showroom are placed there by the manufacturer for me to sell. They all have an official sticker price. You can go look it up yourselves."
"And running a dealership costs money. This year I didn't just fail to turn a profit, I lost hundreds of thousands."
Tracey was the first to leap out and start shouting:
"Clementine, who do you think you're fooling?"
"You're losing money but you can open new stores?"
"You're on your fifth one now, aren't you?"
"Losing money, and you keep doing this?"
"Do you take us for fools, or do you think we're complete idiots?"
