The Biggest Regret Is that You don't Love Me Anymore

In the eighth year of Gerry Hudson was entrusted to taking care of me, after a night of drunken passion, we conceived a child. I thought it was a gift from the heavens.

But he rushed into the obstetrics and gynecology department, holding a woman with signs of miscarriage, pleading with me to save their child. I hid my ultrasound results and did everything I could to save the baby he called his first. But in the end, we couldn’t save it.

Larissa Jones sobbed in Gerry’s arms, delicate like a rain-drenched flower, "Gerry, that medicine felt wrong. Not long after taking it, I started having abdominal pain and bleeding!"

Gerry’s sharp gaze fell on me, "Is this what you call doing your best? I’ll report this to your supervisor!"

I didn’t have a defense against the false accusations. So I was blamed for the loss of his first child and as he wished, I disappeared from his world.

——

The director was shocked when Gerry complained about me misusing the medication, “Selena would never make such a careless mistake. Could there be some misunderstanding?”

After knowing him for eight years, even with the pain of losing a child, Gerry trusted neither the director nor me. All because Larissa insisted that after taking the first pill I gave her, she felt something was wrong. But I clearly remembered when I checked on her, she said the pain had eased.

When I confronted Larissa about her lies, Gerry frowned and shielded her behind him, looking at me with disappointment, “Selena, you gave the wrong medicine and still have the nerve to blame others? Luckily, it was my child that paid the price for your negligence this time. If you don’t reflect on your mistakes, it’s only a matter of time before someone else dies!"

I never imagined that my first medical malpractice incident would involve Gerry. He didn’t even bother to verify the facts, convinced it was my fault.

But when Larissa was admitted to the hospital, I had clearly stated that I could only do my best.

I didn’t tell him that the likelihood of saving the baby was slim. He knew exactly why there were signs of miscarriage.

I swallowed my pain and told him that pregnant women should be cautious during the first three months. He blushed with embarrassment and couldn’t meet my gaze, only begging me to help him. Now, with fury in his eyes, he was adamant that the hospital punish me, determined that I learned a lesson.

The incident reached the hospital director, who, after a thorough investigation, found no fault in my treatment.

Larissa then tugged at Gerry and said, "After all, you two are teacher and student. It doesn’t look good for things to escalate like this. Besides, the baby is already gone… Maybe it's just fate that I wasn’t meant to have this chid.”

Her so-called plea for leniency only poured fuel on the fire, making Gerry even more furious.

"Selena, you’ve let me down! You disappoint me so much"

He forced me to apologize to Larissa and insisted that the remaining medication be sent for testing. By all accounts, since the incident happened under my watch, I should apologize. But the video of me bowing and apologizing went viral online.

Suddenly, both the hospital and I were caught in a storm of public criticism. The results of the medication test weren’t ready yet, but on my way home from a late shift, I was ambushed and beaten.

"Quack doctor! No wonder my wife miscarried twice, you must have been behind it!"

Fists and kicks landed relentlessly on my body, especially my abdomen, leaving me in so much pain I couldn’t even cry out. After the man’s rage subsided and he left, I picked up my broken phone, only to find that only the '1' key still worked.

I called repeatedly, but Gerry didn’t answer.

A kind passerby heard my plea for help and took me to the hospital.

“With this amount of bleeding, it’s likely the baby won’t survive. Let’s admit you for observation first.” Doctor Swift from the same department gave me a look full of curiosity.

Pale-faced, I rejected her suggestion, “No need to save it. Just proceed with the surgery.”

From the moment Gerry asked me to save Larissa’s baby, I knew my own child wasn’t meant to exist.

My parents had moved abroad for their business and Gerry, who lived next door, had been asked to look after me, a left-behind child. In my senior year of high school, he gave me free tutoring sessions.

So technically, we were teacher and student. But it was this teacher-student relationship that made me bury my feelings for him deep inside for many years.

Until that night, when we were drunk…

At the height of passion, he called me "Larissa." I thought it was just a slip of the tongue in his excitement. But in truth, he mistook me for Larissa. Just like the woman in the photo on his phone’s screensaver—running with twin ponytails in a pure white dress—was Larissa, not me.

I had foolishly believed for years that it was me.

Even more ridiculous, I used that drunken night to confess my love to him. Since it was all a misunderstanding, I decided to suppress my feelings and help save the child of the woman he truly loved. What I got in return were false accusations, a beating that landed me in the hospital and surgery.

Doctor Swift asked me to find a family member to sign the consent form. She was curious to see who my secret boyfriend was. I smiled bitterly and signed it myself. After getting off the operating table, the results from the laboratory department had already come out.