Time waits for no one, and Ruthie was especially anxious.
On the third night, she bundled me up in a blanket and carried me into Sebastian’s room.
Before leaving, she even stripped me of my clothes. “Sebastian’s never had a mate before. You’ll need to take the lead tonight. Tomorrow morning, I’ll prepare some strengthening herbs for you,” she whispered, her voice firm but laced with urgency.
I clutched the blanket tightly, my face flushed with heat and embarrassment.
In a daze, I remembered her words.
The Gamma has been so kind to me, giving me food, clothes, and even smiling at me. I’m his chosen mate. I should strengthen our bond.
So, I buried my face deeper into the blanket, my heart pounding.
Sebastian returned late, long after the moon had risen.
Since I’d been staying here, he’d been leaving early and returning late, and no one knew what he was doing.
I listened intently to the sound of the door closing. He was probably taking off his jacket, not bothering to turn on the lights.
After some rustling, he finally climbed into bed.
My mind, usually slow to react, was now a whirlwind of nerves. Most of what Ruthie had taught me the night before had slipped away in my panic.
Desperate, I tentatively reached out my hand, only for my wrist to be caught in his icy grip.
“What are you doing in my room at this hour?”
His voice was low, heavy with confusion and irritation.
He tried to pull me up, but when he saw I was completely bare under the blanket, he froze and immediately pushed me back down.
I shivered from the cold but managed to stammer out, “I’m here to strengthen our bond.”
The room fell silent, so quiet I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat.
Trembling, I reached for him again. “Ruthie said your pack’s lineage is thin, and I need to work hard to secure our future.”
I hurriedly added, “Don’t worry, I know you’re inexperienced. I’ve learned a lot. Ruthie said if I follow what I’ve learned, it won’t be uncomfortable for you.”
“No.”
Sebastian cut me off sharply. His eyes, usually warm, were now cold, and the scar on his face made him look intimidating.
Before I knew it, I was being carried back to my room, still wrapped tightly in the blanket like a cocoon.
Ruthie, seeing this, was stunned. “What’s going on?”
Sebastian sighed. “Ruthie, stop teaching her those things. I don’t need to strengthen the bond right now.”
She tried to argue, but one sharp look from him silenced her.
He laughed, but it was a bitter, self-mocking sound. “My future is uncertain. If I die out there one day, and she’s left with a bond, how will she find her true mate? She’d be tied to me.”
This was the first time I’d seen Sebastian like this.
The moon in his eyes was blurred, as if the clouds were closing in.
The next morning, I was up before dawn, waiting by his door to intercept him.
“I’m already your mate. Being a mate means strengthening our bond,” I said earnestly, looking straight at him.
Sebastian frowned, correcting me gently. “That’s not how it works. When have you ever seen a mark ceremony without a celebration, without gifts, without a mate bond? You came into this pack through the back door. That’s not what a real mark ceremony is.”
I stubbornly insisted, “But I’m yours.”
He patiently explained further. “You’re not mine. I haven’t marked you, so you’re still free. You don’t have to be bound by anyone. The necklace I gave you is worth a lot of money. From now on, you can live however you want. You don’t have to let anyone control your life. Maybe one day you’ll meet someone you truly care for, and then you can mate freely. Do you understand?”
I looked at him, my eyes welling up with tears.
I couldn’t quite put into words what I was feeling, but it was the same kind of pain I’d felt when I was carried into the pack lands after my family abandoned me.
I stood there at the door for what felt like an eternity.
Ruthie sighed and walked over to me. “Forget it. I pushed you too hard. I should’ve known. Sebastian has always hated seeing suffering in the world. Of course he wouldn’t take advantage of you at a time like this.”
I didn’t respond.
Something heavy was pressing down on my chest.
Back then, I didn’t yet know what it meant to care for someone deeply.
