It was a bookmark titled "Aria Under the Moonlight."
Why would he have something like this?
I clicked it. The page jumped to a private, password-protected blog.
The password hint was: "The poet we discussed when we first met."
My hand trembled as I typed in the poet's name.
The blog opened. The title of the very first post—"To my love, Aria"—plunged me into an icy abyss.
The blog was a collection of posts written by Julian to a woman he called Aria. Her real name was Clara.
The pages were filled with his disappointment in our marriage and his boundless worship of her.
"You are the galaxy, and I am a lonely star, yearning to be illuminated by your light."
"Julian, your class enchants me."
"In the world you build, I feel a freedom I have never known."
...
"Today, your beauty made my heart tremble."
"Please enter my dreams tonight, that we might share the ecstasy of our souls."
...
"My Aria is so perfect. Even if I cannot possess your body, having your heart is the greatest gift heaven has bestowed upon me."
"My flesh is already stained by the mundane world; I cannot bear to profane your snow-like purity."
"You are a star in the heavens. I only wish to protect you for eternity, to keep that star from being covered in dust."
"Julian, how I wish I could wake up every day and see you."
"In my dreams, you and I were married three years ago."
"We have an adorable child, as pure and perfect as ice and snow."
"But when I pull myself from that fantasy and remember I belong to someone else, that I am someone else's father..."
"Do you know how it feels, like a knife twisting in my heart?"
"Perhaps my life has been too smooth, and this is heaven's punishment."
"But I have no regrets, no fears. Even if I were to lose my reputation for you, I would not hesitate."
...
"Today in class, my fingertips accidentally brushed yours, and my heart wouldn't stop pounding."
"I'm so envious of her, that she can have all of you. For me, even holding your hand is an extravagant dream."
"How can a speck of dust compare to the brilliance of a star? She could never compare to you."
I read all two hundred posts. The dense, cloying text was a vortex, pulling me down into their twisted little world.
I never imagined I’d stumble into their sickening fantasy like this.
I clapped a hand over my mouth and rushed to the bathroom, vomiting until my throat was raw.
Disgusting. Utterly, fucking disgusting.
