That night I barely slept.
The equipment room next door never stopped.
The humming pressed through the wall and bored into my ear, until the hearing aid buzzed my skin numb.
I took it out.
The world went quiet all at once.
Quiet the way it is when someone holds your head underwater.
My phone lit up. A voice message from my grandmother.
I tapped it open and let it turn to text.
【You asleep?】
【I've got the soup dumpling filling mixed. I'll fold them in the morning.】
【If the food over there doesn't sit right with you, come home and eat.】
I stared at that line for a long time.
【It's fine. I can eat.】
She wrote back fast:
【Being able to eat is one thing. Being pushed around is another.】
【Anyone gives you grief, don't sit on it.】
I let out a small laugh.
The next morning, by the time I came downstairs, the living room was already full of people.
The Henson relatives had come.
To meet me, supposedly.
But the moment I reached the top of the stairs, I saw Sabina sitting beside Valerie, her eyes red.
Her voice was soft.
"My sister was probably just worn out yesterday."
"She didn't mean to snap at our brother and Dad."
"Her hearing's bad, that's all. Sometimes she can't tell what tone people are using."
Someone in the room sighed right away.
"That explains it."
"Not being able to hear properly is a hassle. The family will have its hands full from now on."
Another woman, in a fitted qipao, looked over at me.
She didn't bother lowering her voice, probably assuming I wouldn't catch it.
"How is she ever supposed to marry?"
"You can't exactly bring a caption machine to social functions."
Sabina jumped in.
"Auntie, my sister can read lips."
"Just don't ask her anything too complicated. Speak slowly and she'll manage."
I came down the last step.
The room went quiet for a beat.
Sabina shot up.
"You're awake, sis."
"I was only explaining your situation to everyone. I didn't want anyone hurting your feelings by accident."
I looked at her.
"You explained it in a lot of detail."
"You even asked, on my behalf, how I'm supposed to get married."
The woman in the qipao stiffened.
I sat down on the sofa and set my phone on the table, live captions running.
"Auntie just asked how I'll ever marry."
"Is your own marriage a happy one?"
Dead silence in the room.
Valerie grabbed at me, flustered.
"Lottie."
I turned to her.
"She gets to ask, but I don't?"
The woman's face flushed red.
"I was only worried about you."
"What kind of child talks this sharply?"
I nodded.
"Before you worry about someone else, wash your mouth out first."
Ethan came out of the dining room, his face darkening at once.
"Lottie Bishop, there are elders in this house."
"Watch how you speak."
I pushed the caption screen toward him.
"Then tell your elders to watch how they speak too."
"I'm hard of hearing. I'm not so deaf I've lost my dignity."
Sabina's eyes went red again.
"Sis, don't be like this."
"Auntie really didn't mean any harm."
I looked at her.
"No harm, so why not say it to my face?"
Beside her, one of the relatives muttered under their breath:
"Raised out there in the sticks. No manners at all."
I turned my head toward them.
The person shut up instantly.
I pointed at my phone.
"It heard that too."
"Want me to read it out loud?"
The color drained from their face.
Brendan finally spoke.
"Enough."
"This is a family gathering, not a courtroom for you to interrogate people."
I laughed.
"Right."
"So from now on, stop putting my ears on trial."
The moment I said it, Sabina's tears spilled over.
Valerie handed her a tissue at once.
Ethan's eyes went colder on me.
I sat on the sofa and watched them all crowd around to soothe her.
Out of nowhere, I wanted a bowl of my grandmother's soup dumplings.
People on Old Street talk loud.
Sometimes one shout carries from the shop door all the way down to the end of the alley.
But they never once, to my face, called me a burden.
They'd never set a hot bowl of dumplings in front of me and then say:
"Your ears are bad, eat less, don't cause anyone trouble."
At noon, Edwin arrived.
He was the fiancé the Hensons had arranged for me.
It was the first time I'd seen him.
The moment he came in, he handed a box of pastries to Sabina first.
"You said you wanted these last time."
Sabina flushed a little.
"Edwin, thank you."
Only then did he look at me.
His gaze settled on the hearing aid behind my ear.
I knew that look too well. Not curiosity. Assessment.
Sabina introduced me in a gentle voice:
"Edwin, this is my sister."
Edwin gave a small nod.
"Lottie Bishop."
He didn't even bother with a hello.
I asked:
"And you are?"
Sabina's face stiffened.
Ethan said coldly:
"This is Edwin James."
"Your fiancé."
I gave a flat "Oh."
Edwin's brow creased faintly.
"The engagement is something I'll discuss with both families' elders."
"You've only just come back to the Hensons. There's a lot you haven't adjusted to yet."
"I don't think now is the right time to talk about this."
His words were polite enough.
But his eyes never left my hearing aid.
I asked:
"You want to call off the engagement?"
The room went quiet again.
Edwin pressed his lips together.
"I don't want to embarrass you."
I laughed.
"You've already embarrassed yourself plenty."
Sabina rushed in:
"Sis, Edwin isn't looking down on you."
"He just thinks the two of you don't know each other well yet."
I looked at her.
"Translating for me again?"
"My ears are bad. My mouth works fine."
Edwin's face darkened.
"Lottie Bishop, I only want you to know your own limits."
"The partner I need has to be able to attend functions with me normally."
I glanced down at my phone. The captions were jumping across the screen, clear as anything.
I pushed the screen toward him.
"Normally?"
"Go ahead and define that."
Edwin's expression froze.
Behind him, Sabina gave his sleeve a small tug.
She thought the movement was slight. She thought her voice was low enough.
But I saw the shape of her lips.
She said to Edwin:
"Don't come down too hard."
"She can't hear it, but she'll play the victim."
Edwin lowered his eyes, dropping his voice even further.
"I'll call off the engagement."
"There's no way I'm marrying someone who needs looking after around the clock."
On my phone screen, a line jumped up.
【There's no way I'm marrying someone who needs looking after around the clock.】
I laughed.
"Mr. James."
"Your breakup statement—want me to write it for you?"
