Six months after my first pregnancy ended in that cold bathroom, I found myself staring at another positive test. My hands trembled as I wrapped it in tissue paper, tucking it away in the back of my drawer where the first one still hid.
I should have known better. Should have been more careful. But some foolish part of me still hoped—still believed that maybe this time would be different.
Kaiser didn't bother with explanations this time. He simply left the medication on my nightstand with a glass of water and a note: "You know what to do."
Five words. Five cold, efficient words that ended another life before it could begin.
I swallowed the pills one by one, each bitter taste a promise broken. That night, I began keeping a journal—a small leather-bound book I hid beneath the loose floorboard under my bed.
"Today I lost you," I wrote, my handwriting shaky. "I never got to hold you, never got to see your face. But I named you Lily, because you would have been born in spring."
The next morning, Kaiser left early for work. He didn't ask if I'd taken the medication. He didn't need to—he trusted me to know my place.
I discovered his separate living quarters by accident. Following the sound of running water, I found myself in the east wing of our penthouse, where a second bedroom suite remained untouched since Ariella's death. Kaiser's clothes hung in the closet, his toiletries arranged neatly in the bathroom.
He visited my room only when necessary—mechanical encounters that left me feeling more alone than if he'd never come at all. Each time, he would leave immediately afterward, returning to his side of the apartment as if touching me for longer than required might contaminate him.
One night, I heard it—a woman's laughter echoing through the marble halls. Musical and confident, it floated from behind Kaiser's closed door.
"It's nothing personal, darling," Peyton's voice carried clearly. "She's just... convenient."
I pressed my back against the wall, my heart—Ariella's heart—beating painfully in my chest.
---
The first annual memorial dinner arrived with cruel symmetry—marking both the anniversary of Ariella's death and my own birthday. A coincidence my family had never acknowledged.
Kaiser transformed our penthouse into a shrine. White lilies filled every corner, and photographs of Ariella lined the entry hall—her perfect smile following guests as they arrived.
"Fifty guests," Peyton announced, clipboard in hand as she directed the catering staff. "All of New York's elite, plus your family."
Somehow, she had assumed the role of hostess, arranging every detail with practiced efficiency.
I spent the afternoon preparing under her watchful eye, arranging place cards and adjusting flower arrangements according to her exacting standards.
"Darling, perhaps you should wear something less... noticeable," Peyton suggested, eyeing my modest black dress with distaste. "This evening is about Ariella, after all. We wouldn't want to distract from her memory."
At dinner, I found myself seated at a small table near the kitchen, separated from the main gathering. I served myself quietly while Peyton sat beside Kaiser at the head table, her hand resting possessively on his arm.
Around her neck glinted a stunning diamond necklace—one I recognized from the Morrison family collection, a piece Kaiser had once promised would only be worn by his wife.
"Ariella gave everything," my father said during his speech, his voice breaking with emotion. "Even her final heartbeat, to save another."
His eyes found mine across the room, heavy with accusation.
"We can only hope that sacrifice wasn't made in vain."
---
My third pregnancy came with winter's first snow. By then, I knew the routine.
The fourth followed quickly after—a cruel reminder that even in grief, life finds ways to continue.
"Perhaps if you stopped getting pregnant," Kaiser remarked during dinner, watching me with cold detachment, "we could avoid these tedious situations."
He cut his steak with clinical precision as I swallowed the medication under his watchful gaze.
"Raise your glass," he instructed. "We're celebrating."
My hands shook so violently I could barely hold the crystal stem. The amber liquid inside looked like liquid amber—beautiful and poisonous.
Later that night, I wandered into Ariella's preserved bedroom. Kaiser maintained it exactly as she'd left it—dresses still hanging in the closet, perfume bottles lined up on her vanity.
I lay on her bed, surrounded by photographs of her perfect smile, and whispered apologies into the darkness.
"I'm sorry," I whispered to her frozen image. "I'm trying to be worthy of your sacrifice."
Outside, snow fell silently over the city, covering everything in white—just like the dress I'd worn on my wedding day. Just like the pills that would soon end another life inside me.
In the darkness, I pressed my hand against my stomach and made a silent promise to the child I would never meet: "Next time," I whispered, "I won't let them hurt you."
