As I thought of a plan for what to do with my life now, I walked around the house, the air thick with memories of what could have been. The baby we lost haunted every corner. I thought about Samuel and how he seemed to shift since Samantha entered the picture.
A sense of betrayal welled up inside me. Anger bubbled over, directed at both of them. I had never seen them together, but I could feel their connection. It cut deep.
Samuel and I weren’t mates. That was clear. I understand that now. We didn’t share that bond that tied so many together for life. I didn’t have to stay. I could leave. I could reclaim my life. The thought of it breathed a flicker of hope into my heart, even as the anger still simmered. I thought of packing my things and finding a place where I could start fresh.
Just then, my phone rang, breaking through the storm of my thoughts. I glanced at the screen. It was my father. A rush of mixed emotions washed over me. He was always there, steady and reliable, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his voice right now, so I hesitated.
But I knew I had to answer. I took a breath and pressed the button.
"Dad?" I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
"What’s going on?" He suddenly asked as if he could sense my turmoil.
I felt a lump in my throat. I wanted to tell him everything. About the loss. About Samuel. About the anger, but the words caught.
"Just…thinking," I said finally. "About life, choices."
I could hear him pause on the other end. I knew he’d want to help, but how could I explain the mess I was in? I needed to figure this out on my own first. And maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to let go of the anger and find peace.
"Think no further. Tamara, you need to come home. There’s an important matter with the pack."
His voice was steady, but I sensed urgency beneath it. My heart raced. I had always known this day would come, but I wasn’t ready. The thought of becoming beta filled me with dread. Could I really live up to my father’s legacy as the current beta of our pack?
I remembered all the times I had trained under him. The lessons on leadership, loyalty, and strength. I admired my father, but he made it look so easy. I felt the weight of expectation pressing down on me.
I recalled the stories of past leaders, their triumphs and failures. I felt like an imposter, standing on the threshold of a role I wasn’t sure I could handle. What if I failed? What if the pack didn’t accept me? I couldn’t shake the doubt.
I needed time to think. Everything was happening all at once and it was becoming overwhelming. I wanted to get away from Samuel, but I also wasn't sure if going back home to the pack was the right choice. I didn't want to let my father down again, but the idea of what could happen when I came home was gnawing at me.
"I know this is urgent, Dad, but I have to think about this," I replied, trying to mask the uncertainty in my voice.
He released a sigh of disappointment but didn't argue with my request.
"I'll give you two days to decide, but Tamara, this shouldn't be up for discussion," he warned before hanging up.
Just then I walked into the backyard of the house and stood outside under the moonlight. The air was crisp, filled with the scent of pine. I looked up, the stars twinkling like eyes watching me. I thought about my pack, my family, and how much they were counting on me.
My heart ached at the thought of letting them down all over again. In that moment, clarity washed over me. I realized I had to face my fears because I wouldn’t know how things would end until I tried.
I picked up my phone again and dialed my father’s number. "I’m coming home," I said, my voice firmer than I felt.
