Then came the second life. I was careful beyond measure, steering clear of the cliff, making it back to Aurelia alive. I said every kind word I could think of, poured out every ounce of devotion I had. But he still raised his warpack and stormed the Moonhold Citadel for Ravenna Vargr's sake. The entire Blackthorn bloodline was sentenced to annihilation because of it. I stared at him through burning eyes and asked, "Why?" Why sacrifice so many lives for one Ravenna Vargr? He reached up and wiped the tears from the corner of my eye. "Because she's my sister." "I would betray the whole world to see her happy. What's the erasure of three bloodlines compared to that?" In that moment, I finally understood. Childhood scent-bonded, steadfast mates, all of it was a lie. The only person Fenris Vargr had ever cared about was Ravenna.
……
I pulled myself out of the memories and unclenched my fists, my palms aching where my nails had dug in.
"Father," I said quietly, "I want to enter the Moonhold Citadel."
He blinked in surprise. "You mean you want to join the Alpha Supreme Heir's Luna Selection?"
I nodded.
His lips moved soundlessly for a moment. "Seraphina, even if you don't mate with Fenris, there are plenty of fine young Alphas in Aurelia worth considering. A mating bond is too important a matter to decide out of spite."
I cut him off. "Besides the Alpha Supreme Heir, who in this Dominion outranks Fenris Vargr?"
"The Blackthorns aren't what they used to be. You've already been generous enough to let me sever the scent-bond courtship with the Vargr pack on a whim."
"But I refuse to let our bloodline keep declining."
"Besides, a daughter of pureblood lineage will have to present herself at the Citadel sooner or later. If not me, it will be Briar."
Father let out a long sigh. His scent shifted, the old parchment and dried lavender growing heavier with worry.
The Alpha Supreme Heir was cold by nature. Nothing like Fenris, who knew how to charm. In my previous life, only Ravenna had set her sights on the Heir's inner circle. She had been singularly obsessed with becoming Luna Designate.
The Alpha Supreme was wary of the Heir forming alliances with powerful pack commanders. Fenris had to surrender his command of the Crimson Fang before Ravenna could be admitted to the Heir's court. To prove his loyalty and pave the way for her, Fenris had also handed over every last coin of the Vargr household's war-treasury, including my mating dowry.
The day we left Aurelia, Ravenna came to see us off in tears. She leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Rest easy in the borderlands, sister. I'll put your dowry to good use." That sour sweetness of overripe berries clung to her breath, and beneath it, something hollow.
My heart sank like a stone. So my dowry had never been surrendered to the Fang Throne. It had gone straight to Ravenna.
That was the first time I discovered Fenris had lied to me.
……
Father sent for the finest portrait painter in Aurelia to capture my likeness for the Luna Selection scroll. I had barely settled into my pose when Fenris came storming through the territory gates.
He spotted me, faltered mid-stride, and took a moment to compose himself before closing the distance. I caught his scent before he reached me: woodsmoke and hot iron and crushed juniper, and beneath it all that new acrid thread of decay he could not wash away, the rot that had crept in since I severed our bond. My wolf went still inside me, watchful and cold.
His expression was ice. "You don't think you owe me an explanation for this broken bond?"
I lifted my gaze to meet his. "I wanted it broken, so I broke it. What is there to explain?"
"Or does the great Alpha Commander intend to force a mating?"
In the past, I had been nothing but gentle and considerate in front of him. Never willful. Never a harsh word. Fenris's brow creased. "What's gotten into you?"
"Are you upset that I didn't write these past few moon cycles?"
"I figured I'd be marching home soon enough. There was no need to waste riders on sealed parchments."
I let out a mocking laugh. "Funny. I hear Miss Vargr received one every single day, delivered by express courier."
"What happened to not wasting riders, Commander?"
Fenris looked at me with open disappointment. "Ravenna is my sister. You're really going to make an issue out of a few family letters?"
"Seraphina, we haven't seen each other in three years. When did you become so jealous?"
His sister. The same excuse. The same lie, told to me and to himself.
I wiped the smile from my face. "What I've become is none of the Alpha Commander's concern."
"The courtship contract has been returned. We're both free. Don't let me keep you."
"Seraphina Blackthorn!" Fenris seized my wrist. His grip burned with an Alpha's strength, and I felt the ghost of where his scent used to sink into my skin and find welcome there. It found nothing now. "There's a limit to throwing tantrums."
"Our scent-bond courtship was settled before we were even born. You can't just tear it apart!"
He thought I was throwing a tantrum.
He had no idea that reaching this moment had cost me two lifetimes.
