One month before we were supposed to go home, my wife secretly changed our immigration application.
Her friend tried to talk her out of it.
"Just because Noah Mason is in the UK, you secretly switched your destination? Your husband has his heart set on going back to China. He even got his acceptance letter from the Chinese Academy of Sciences. You think he'll agree to this?"
"Wasn't the whole point of studying in the States so you could both go home and contribute someday?"
My wife shook her head gently.
"Theo loves me. Once he sees I changed the application, of course he'll come to the UK with me."
"Noah is all alone out there. China doesn't need one more person, but Noah—he has no one else."
I stood there for a long moment, feeling everything and saying nothing, then turned and walked away.
If she was choosing to chase love, then I would choose to keep chasing my dream.
A month later, when the plane touched down, she called me in a rush.
"Theo, have you landed abroad yet?"
I looked at the Chinese red banners drifting in front of me, and my heart surged.
"I've been here a while."
——
I was standing outside the door of my new lab.
Georgina Fisher's voice came through again.
"Martha, if you've really made up your mind, then at least tell Theo the truth. What if he genuinely doesn't know?"
Martha shook her head.
"He's been talking about going home for years. It's the thing he cares about most. There's no way he hasn't noticed I changed the application."
"Besides, if I told him face to face, you know how he is—he'd push back. Why put myself through that?"
Georgina didn't understand.
"You know he'll be angry, and you still went behind his back?"
Martha let out a sigh.
"I didn't have a choice. Noah's alone, and he's sick. I can't just leave him."
A small, certain smile pulled at the corner of her mouth.
"Theo gave up Cambridge for me once. Ask him to give something up again, and he'll fall in line. He always does."
She said it so lightly.
As if every sacrifice I'd made was simply owed.
Georgina's voice carried a thread of suspicion.
"Don't tell me you still have feelings for Noah Mason."
Martha paused. She didn't answer right away.
After a moment, her voice drifted out, unhurried.
"When it comes to him, I have no resistance."
"Then what does that make Theo?"
I wanted to ask that too.
Martha exhaled, long and slow.
"He's the perfect husband on paper."
Suitable.
Not loved.
She didn't need to spell it out.
Georgina's brow furrowed deeply.
"Martha, you can't have it both ways. Be careful you don't end up losing everything."
Martha smiled, full of confidence.
"Georgina, you just don't get it."
"A woman should be a little greedy. Otherwise, what's the point?"
She took a sip of her coffee, perfectly at ease.
"Theo's always been the sensible type. His whole world is his research—he's not the kind of man who gets jealous or makes a fuss."
"Noah's different. He gives me romance. He's charming. With him, I actually know what it feels like to be swept off my feet."
A flicker of satisfaction crossed her face.
"A woman has different needs. Surely you understand that."
"And what about your duty to your country? Don't you have any regrets?"
Martha's brows pinched together.
"I'm really not being selfish. I need to take care of the people closest to me first."
"Everyone has regrets in life. But Noah is the one regret I refuse to carry."
Georgina shook her head and said nothing more.
I'd heard enough. I turned in silence and walked home.
I remembered the first time I met Martha—an academic conference in Boston.
She was on stage giving a presentation. The last slide of her deck read:
"I hope that one day, I can bring my research back to China."
Back then, there was still light in her eyes.
