2: 2
The livestream ended in chaos.
Or rather, they simply pretended the feed had dropped.
I didn't stay behind. I called a cab and went to the steakhouse I'd booked a month ago.
The server came over with the order to confirm.
"Ma'am, you wanted the tomato soup base, correct?"
"Change it to the spicy broth. Extra spice."
My finger tapped a few of the dishes.
"Swap these out."
A month ago, Stanley and I had predicted we'd cross ten million followers today, so I'd booked the place to celebrate in advance.
But the truth was, the tomato base and half the menu were things I'd never wanted anyway.
On my phone,
the blank chat thread with Stanley was crammed with his unheard voice messages and missed calls.
In the beginning, to encourage me to open up,
he'd tell me to text less and speak more,
so the two of us barely messaged.
Whatever there was to say, I saved it until the video was shot, the livestream over.
And I'd gotten used to it, really. Used to holding everything in, no matter how much there was,
until he was lying beside me at night before I'd say a word.
If I hadn't gone through his phone,
seen the endless scroll of his chat history with Sophie,
I probably would have just gone on like that forever.
The next second,
Stanley's call came through.
"Didn't we agree Soph would stand in for you? What was that just now?"
"You barged in out of nowhere, and now the comments under our new video are all people cursing Soph, people unfollowing. You tell me what we're supposed to do!"
"She's your sister. Can't you think about her for once!"
The words came rattling out, one after another, without a breath of space for me to answer.
Only when the other end went quiet except for his ragged breathing
did I speak.
"And what about me?"
Sophie seemed to be crying, saying not to fight with her sister.
Her sobs only fed Stanley's anger.
"Shar, you're the one who's always said you like being behind the scenes. I gave you that. Soph is your sister. What's wrong with her going on camera in your place? It's not like I actually have feelings for her. It's all an act!"
"Can you stop being difficult? Do you have any idea how much ten million followers can earn us? We're going to need money for so many things after we're married!"
The server asked with a bright smile whether I wanted the heat adjusted,
and I gave a soft "mm."
Then I said,
"Then we won't get married."
I hung up and ate my dinner in earnest.
By the time I was on my third plate, Stanley and Sophie arrived.
The two of them sat down across from me out of habit.
Stanley acted like nothing had happened, mixing dipping sauce for himself and Sophie.
He came back, sat down, dropped a few pieces of meat into her bowl,
then tied back her loose hair with the elastic from his wrist.
The whole thing done in one smooth motion.
Sophie kept her head down, eyes red, eating her meat without a word.
Stanley sighed.
"Shar, I shouldn't have talked to you like that earlier. I know you hate fighting more than anything."
My whole childhood was spent inside the sound of my parents fighting,
and I couldn't even cover my own ears,
because little Sophie was more frightened than me,
and I had to protect my sister.
The time that stayed with me most, my parents fought and a knife came out.
The blade flew and caught me in the back.
Sophie, terrified, ran out of the house and brought Stanley.
The three of us in the ambulance, Stanley holding me, shaking all over, as if he were the one dying.
I forced my eyes open to look at him.
"Let's... not... fight..."
Stanley's tears poured out like he couldn't stop them, and all he could do was stare and say okay, no fighting.
I set down my chopsticks just as Sophie lifted her head.
"Shar, Alex really does love you. Don't call off the wedding because of me... All these years you worked yourself to the bone, wasn't it so you could be with him?"
The more she talked, the redder her eyes got,
and she took the tissue Stanley held out to her.
"If I'm in the way, then I'll leave right now. I'll go to another city."
She stood up, and her hand was caught at once.
"No one thinks you're in the way. What your sister said was just temper talking."
Stanley frowned, wearing that helpless, headache-ridden look.
Watching the familiar way the two of them moved around each other,
I finally knew for certain that they understood each other better than I'd ever realized,
in corners I knew nothing about.
I couldn't even tell when it had changed.
Was it the day I learned Stanley could recite Sophie's likes backward and forward?
Was it the day I found out he'd tell Sophie a day ahead when her period was coming?
I should have been glad, really.
These two people who mattered most in my life, closer to each other now.
But instead I suddenly felt like a fish out of water,
the air around me that had nothing to do with me, smothering me.
Maybe it really was time to leave.
A friend request popped up on my phone.
【Miss Manning, your talent shouldn't be boxed into that couple's account. Would you like to try working with me?】
