: Zhao Di
My parents never smiled at me, not once since the day I was born.
They named me Rhoda.
After my younger brother was born, they still wouldn't smile at me.
Instead, they'd say, "This girl is a money pit. What's the point of her grades being so good!"
The only time they ever smiled at me was after my college entrance exams, when they planned to sell me off as a wife.
A Fortune Teller told them, "This girl has an auspicious glow. She'll bring her husband great fortune after they marry!"
They thought they could finally sell me for a good price.
1
The day I was born, my father rushed back from his construction site.
When he heard the nurse's gentle words, "Congratulations, it's a girl," my father instantly deflated.
I heard I was left at the hospital for three days. If a nurse hadn't come banging on our door, they would have just abandoned me there.
My mother wasn't in good health. She had to take countless folk remedies just to get pregnant with me.
My grandfather died young. On his deathbed, he clutched my father's hand and pleaded.
"The Valerius family line has been carried by a single son for three generations. You and your wife must have a boy child."
My birth probably meant that my grandfather couldn't rest in peace.
They rarely paid any attention to me. Growing up, I was seldom able to eat my fill.
In their own words:
"A girl is just a money pit. It's a waste of our food to raise a wife for another family!"
When I was six years old, they punched and kicked me for stealing a piece of candy they had bought for my cousin.
My aunt just watched with cold eyes, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
"Such a greedy girl."
After making her remark, she stuffed a whole handful of candy into my cousin's hand.
From that moment on, I understood: my parents didn't want me, and neither did any of my relatives.
For as long as I can remember, I could smell the thick scent of herbal medicine on my mother.
I heard from relatives that my parents hadn't given up hope. They still wanted another child, saying they absolutely could not let the Valerius family line end.
My name is Rhoda. There's no other meaning to it. It was given to me simply because they wanted a son, so what should have been a lifelong blessing was instead carelessly turned into an expression of their own hopes.
I thought, 'Maybe once I have a younger brother, everything will get better.'
And so, I began to look forward to the arrival of that new little life along with them.
