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Sabrina spoke with the sweetest, most innocent face. "Big sister Norma must be upset, because I took her heart. If it's a problem, Sabrina can give it back to her. Sabrina really doesn't mind."
Even when she cried, the little girl was adorable, her cheeks and the tip of her nose flushing pink.
Not like me. When I cried, tears and snot smeared all over my face.
Every time, Mom wiped it away with a look that was half disgust, half aching tenderness.
None of the nurses liked me, so I never let them wipe my face. Only Mom.
Whenever this happened, the other patients in the room would sneer.
"Even a simpleton with a heart condition gets treated differently, once she's a doctor's daughter. Look how busy she is, and she still finds time to come wipe her own girl's nose. Not like the rest of us, just left here to die."
Mom's face would go stiff. She'd finish wiping me down without a word and leave, her expression cold.
Not long after, she had me transferred, and she took a job at this new hospital.
Because they were willing to give me my own private room.
A room just for me, and nurses who wouldn't look at me with disgust.
I could read, but I didn't understand what it all meant.
I only knew the form said: Heart failure, severe, requires solitary rest, special approval for a family-staff room, cost deducted from salary.
But a month ago, Sabrina moved in too.
She was lively and loud, and she'd sing songs for Mom.
The noise kept me awake, and I lay there clutching my chest as it twitched and seized.
But Mom said I was selfish, that I wanted to hoard scarce medical resources all for myself and get Sabrina killed.
I didn't understand what Mom was saying. I took her hand and pressed it to my heart.
"Mom, it hurts here. It hurts so much."
Before Mom could even ask, alarmed, Sabrina piped up with a grin.
"Big sister Norma, stop pretending. Heart failure doesn't hurt, it just makes you weak. Because Sabrina has it too."
At that, Mom's face darkened all at once.
Especially after she ran a full set of tests on me and they showed my condition hadn't worsened. Then, in a rare moment, she spoke to me sternly.
"Norma, Mom is so tired. Can you please stop being difficult?"
"Because of your nonsense about your heart hurting, Sabrina's parents pulled her out of the room, and she had an attack and nearly didn't get treated in time!"
"Mom can only give you the best care if she gets a solid footing at this hospital. Everything Mom does is for you. So be good."
I didn't understand what Mom meant about avoiding favoritism, but I knew I was supposed to be good.
Yet even after I was good, Mom gave my Baba plush to Sabrina.
Because Sabrina said she had no mom, and no Baba, and she was scared to sleep alone.
When I was in the ICU, Mom couldn't come in, so she'd given me that Baba plush to keep me company.
With Baba there, I could finally close my eyes.
I didn't dare ask for my own Baba back. I could only sneak up onto the foot of Sabrina's bed, hoping to sleep in one small corner.
But she suddenly screamed. "Help! Big sister Norma says I stole her Baba, and she's trying to strangle me!"
The shrill sound terrified me. I clutched my chest, unable to speak, unable to breathe.
Someone said the simpleton had gone mad. Someone else said there was going to be a death.
Sabrina hid in Mom's arms, sobbing and sobbing.
Until her crying overloaded her heart, cut off the blood, and she fainted.
Mom bowed low and deep to Sabrina's grandmother, apologizing, then dragged my unconscious body away to draw my blood.
"My daughter and Sabrina share the same blood type. She's asleep, so let me take her blood to bring Sabrina around."
