1.
My best friend Daisy Fox asked me to go to the amusement park, and the second my husband Alex Simmons heard about it, he insisted on coming along.
"What fun is it with just the two of you?" he said. "I'll drive you."
At the time I actually thought it was sweet of him. Then Daisy said she wanted to ride the giant swing.
I told them I was afraid of heights. Alex's face went dark, and he grabbed my arm.
"Look at Daisy, then look at yourself. Scared of a swing seat. Aren't you embarrassed?"
He pressed me down into the seat, and at the very top I was shaking all over.
When it was over my legs were so weak I was dry-heaving in a corner, but all he did was toss me a wad of tissues, annoyed.
"Quit the act. Wipe your face and go get Daisy a bottle of water."
I lifted my head and saw him holding Daisy's hand, gazing at her.
"Scared you half to death, didn't it? I shouldn't have picked that ride."
Daisy gave him a shy little look.
"It's all your fault, insisting the front row had the best view. Now she's thrown up. Bea won't be mad, will she?"
I watched the two of them, thick with feeling for each other, and pulled out my phone and booked a ticket back to my parents' place.
Ten years of marriage. It was time to put an end to it.
……
I dropped the tissues in the trash and turned toward the exit. Behind me, Daisy's voice came quickly.
"Alex, go after her. Bea's definitely upset."
"It's my fault. I shouldn't have suggested the giant swing."
Alex jogged after me and grabbed my wrist.
He planted himself in front of me. Not one word of concern. The first thing out of his mouth was:
"Are you done throwing your fit?"
"We finally get a day out, and you have to ruin the mood?"
"I just asked you to get Daisy a bottle of water. Who are you making that face at?"
"Isn't she your best friend? I was being nice, looking after her for you. Was that wrong too?"
I looked at him, so full of righteous indignation, and couldn't help laughing out loud.
I'm afraid of heights. I told them so before we ever got on.
Not only did he not care, he thought I was an embarrassment.
For a cheap thrill, he ignored what anyone might think and held my best friend's hand in front of everyone.
Now that I want to leave, he comes to scold me in public for everything I've done wrong.
Absolutely laughable.
Just then Daisy hurried over and looped her arm through mine.
"Bea, it's all my fault. I didn't know you were afraid of heights. I didn't think about how you'd feel."
"Don't be angry. If you don't want to ride anymore, I'll go back with you."
Her voice was soft, her face full of guilt.
"Just, you two shouldn't fight. There are so many people around. Don't give them a show to laugh at."
I looked at Daisy, so noble and reasonable.
She said it beautifully. Anyone who didn't know better would think I was the one with no sense of restraint, deliberately picking a fight with them.
"All right, that's enough. I got you your favorite, a mango smoothie, iced," he said.
"Take it. Drink up and stop being so hotheaded."
And with that he shoved the mango smoothie into my hand.
Ninety-eight degrees out.
It made me shiver on the spot. Then I watched him hand the passion fruit juice to Daisy, his voice gentle.
"Your stomach's bad, and you're allergic to mango, so I got you one at room temperature."
Daisy smiled at him and took a happy sip.
"So sweet!"
"Thank you, Alex. I only told you once, and you actually remembered."
Then she turned her gaze on me, looking at me with envy all over her face.
"Bea, look how good Alex is to you. Where do you find a man this thoughtful?"
"You! For the sake of him buying you a drink, quit sulking at him."
I suddenly laughed.
Before we left the house today, I made a point of telling Alex I was on my period and not feeling well.
If he bought me a drink during the day, I asked him to get me one at room temperature.
At the time he'd been crouched down beside me, gently rubbing my belly, smiling.
"Don't worry. Your stomach hurts every time you're on your period. I know what to do."
I looked down at the iced drink in my hand and wanted to have it out with him.
I wanted to ask him whether he'd ever kept me in his heart at all.
But then I saw him take the tissue in his hand and gently dab the beads of sweat from Daisy's forehead.
And just like that, I felt there was no point.
Without another word I shoved the drink back at Alex and said,
"I'm not feeling well. I'm going."
"You two have fun here."
That was all.
I'd barely taken two steps when I heard Daisy say she wanted to go back with me.
But Alex stopped her.
"Ignore her. She's always got some drama going on."
"Let her cool off on her own. That's fine too."
"Come on, let's get back to the rides!"
