I stood against the heavy ironwood door for a long,long time.My legs went numb before I finally managed to calm the storm inside my chest.
Since I could not get out,I might as well begin gathering what was mine.I moved through the bedchamber with mechanical precision,throwing every gown,every fur cloak,every silver hairpin Dorian had ever gifted me into a pile by the hearth.I did not stop until the task was complete.
It was only when I stood back that I realized the truth.All I could actually take with me was my identity scroll,my blood-seal token,and the few personal keepsakes I had brought from the orphan pack.Nothing else in this room had ever truly belonged to me.
Dorian did not unlock the door until the following evening,when the scent of the evening meal drifted through the halls.He noticed the pile of discarded things by the hearth.I saw him pause,his brow furrowing.
"What kind of moon-cursed tantrum is this?"he asked,his voice carrying that familiar edge of condescension.
I just smiled faintly,the expression feeling foreign on my face."They grew old.I stopped liking them.So I tossed them."
That shut him up.He was quiet for a beat,and when he spoke again,it was in that tone of his,the one that made everything sound like a gift bestowed upon a grateful inferior."I will buy you new ones in a few days.Consider it an apology for how things have gone.Come eat,and be nice to Rosalind.She is only staying a few more days.Stop being jealous and picking fights with her."
He paused at the end,just slightly."Burning those things…I may have gone too far.But people need to move forward.The Den Mother has been gone for a long time now."
I nodded,my voice flat and empty."Fine."
He had received what should have been my forgiveness,but something about my compliance made Dorian uneasy.I was standing right in front of him,yet he felt like I was already far away,like smoke slipping through his fingers.
Tomorrow was the last day of my arrangement with the Grimtalon family.My plan was simple:wake up,go through the Moon Purification Rite with the High Priestess,and leave this place forever.
But in the dead of night,the bedchamber door slammed open.Before I could even register what was happening,Dorian hauled me out of my furs and dragged me down the torch-lit corridor to the room next door.His grip was brutal,like he wanted to break me apart.The moment he let go,I slammed into the stone wall.Pain exploded across my back,and my vision went black for an instant.
Before I could recover,his voice came down from above,raw with fury."Lyra,is this how badly you cannot stand Rosalind?You are so jealous that you would drug her with Darkmoon Herb?"
My ears rang.My vision swam,then slowly focused.On the bed,Rosalind's cheeks were flushed,her sleeping gown disheveled.She was practically draped over Dorian,whimpering and pressing herself into his arms like a wolf in heat.
"It was not me."My voice was hoarse,but I forced the words out."I did nothing of the sort."
The moment I finished speaking,Rosalind flinched as though I had struck her.The tears came instantly,glistening on her lashes."Lyra…the only thing I ate tonight was the honeyed cake you had Elder Marta bring to me.I did not touch anything else…"
"I had someone bring you cake?"I stared at her,my expression ice cold despite the fire burning in my chest."You burned the Den Mother's keepsakes,and you think I would send you a treat?Rosalind,do you truly think that highly of yourself?"My voice dropped lower,shaking with barely contained rage."And what would I even gain from drugging you?If you are going to frame someone for such a scheme,at least come up with a believable story."
"Enough with the excuses,"Dorian cut in,irritation thick in his voice."Elder Marta already admitted you told her to do it.Witness and evidence,both accounted for.How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"
The cold seeped into my chest,inch by inch.I had not imagined that in Dorian's mind,I was capable of something so low."What witness?What evidence?"I bit down hard on my lower lip,the words grinding out between my teeth."This estate has security enchantments woven into every corridor.A single scrying crystal can show you the truth of what happened.If you truly think I did this,then look into the crystal.One glance,and you will know exactly who is lying."
I held his gaze,stubborn,refusing to bend.I would not confess to a crime I did not commit.
Dorian hesitated.Just for a second.
But then Rosalind let out a soft,shuddering gasp and clung to him tighter,her voice trembling and paper-thin."Dorian,it hurts so much…please help me,please…"
Her collar had slipped,pale skin spilling into view beneath the disheveled silk.Dorian's hand froze.Instinct told him to push her away.But Rosalind ducked her head and sank her teeth into her own arm without a moment's hesitation.Hard.Blood welled up instantly,bright red streaming down her skin,impossible to look away from.
"I know you only see me as a little sister,Dorian,"she whispered,her voice shaking."I know this whole arrangement these past few days was just a mock oath,a performance for the packs.It is my fault for letting myself get lost in how sweet it felt,for letting myself imagine you might care about me,even a little…"Her tears fell harder."I will handle this myself.Do not worry about me.I do not want to be a burden to either of you anymore…"
Dorian's expression changed completely.He grabbed her arm to stop her from biting down again,pulling her into his arms to hold her still.When he spoke,his voice was rough and strained."Stop hurting yourself.I will help you."
I stared at Dorian,almost certain I had misheard him.But there was no guilt on his face.Only disappointment.In me.
"Lyra,I thought you were different from all those petty,scheming she-wolves.Above using dirty tricks to bully others.But I was wrong."
My throat clenched.It felt like someone was carving my chest open with a dull silver blade,one slow cut at a time.
"Since you are the one who drugged her,"Dorian said,refusing to meet my eyes,"then the consequences are yours to bear."
Rosalind nestled obediently against his chest,but her gaze found mine over his shoulder,bright with undisguised triumph.
A violent cramp tore through my lower abdomen,something twisting and churning deep inside me.The pain nearly buckled my knees.I gritted through it,my voice cold and cutting."Dorian,where is your reason?I drugged Rosalind and then sent my own betrothed to be the cure?And when you could have simply called a healer from the Priestess Hall…"
Before I could finish,Rosalind let out a soft whimper and pressed her hand to her wounded arm."Dorian,just go.Do not worry about me.I am afraid if you actually help me,my sister will hate me even more.And do not blame her either.She only loves you too much.That is why she did something like this."
I had already decided to let go of Dorian,but I still could not stand there and let Rosalind spew lies that dragged my character through the mud."Rosalind,have you no shame?You drugged yourself,then threw yourself at my betrothed and pointed the claw at me.Were you raised by feral wolves in the wild?"
Crack.
The words barely left my mouth before Dorian stood and struck me across the face with an open claw.
The force whipped my head to the side.A high-pitched ringing flooded my ears.
"Lyra,Rosalind never once said she wanted anything done to you,but you have not stopped attacking her.I suppose that is what happens when you grow up in an orphan pack.Not an ounce of proper breeding."His voice was low and venomous."Since you love drugging people so much,tonight you are going to sit here and watch exactly what that costs."
Before I could react,he had dragged me to a wooden chair and bound me to it with strips of torn linen.As he pulled off his tunic,he left me with one final sentence."You brought this on yourself.Do not blame me."
A bone-deep chill spread through me.
The entire night,I watched the man I had loved for ten years bed another woman.The sounds—the heavy breathing,the wet kisses,the soft moans—circled my ears like a curse that would not break.And the whole time,my abdomen screamed with pain,cold sweat soaking through every layer I wore.I tried to call for help,but Dorian dismissed it as another ploy for attention.Moments later,Rosalind's moans grew louder,drowning me out completely.
At first I still cried.Then the tears ran dry,and all that was left was a vast,hollow numbness.
Every image seared into my eyes was the same brutal reminder:this is what happens when you love the wrong wolf.
The last shred of feeling I had left died that night.
The sounds of their passion lasted until the first pale light of dawn crept through the shuttered windows.Only then did Dorian finally untie me.
"Have you learned your lesson?"he asked,looking down at me from above.
When no answer came,he glanced down and saw my face drained of all color,my consciousness slipping away like water through cracked stone.Panic flickered across his features.He checked beneath me and found a pool of red soaking through my gown and onto the cold stone floor.
He bent to scoop me up,ready to rush me to the Priestess Hall,but Rosalind's voice drifted from the bed,soft and fragile."Dorian,you were too rough last night.I think I am bleeding down there as well.Could you come look?If not,you could just send one of the servants.That would be fine too."
Her voice was hoarse,pitiful.She looked utterly broken,her tear-stained face turned toward him with desperate need.
Dorian hesitated.His resolve softened.It had been Rosalind's first time after all,and he had not exactly held back.
So I watched him set me back down onto the cold floor.I watched him tell me to wait.
But I was in so much pain.I forced myself upright,sent a silent whisper through my soulstone messenger,and called for a healer's carriage on my own.Then I staggered toward the door one lurching step at a time.
"Where are you going,sister?"
Just as I reached the top of the stairwell,Rosalind rushed over and seized my wrist.
"I am so sorry,Lyra.This is all my fault.I am the reason you and Dorian never got to swear the oath on the Moon Altar."She tilted her face up at me,fresh tears spilling down her cheeks."Hit me,yell at me,I will take it all.Just please do not break the courtship with him because of me…"
My head swam.A low buzz filled my ears."Let go,"I said,my throat so dry it burned.
Rosalind only gripped tighter,stepping closer,as if terrified I would slip away."Please do not leave,sister.Dorian truly does love you.He is just soft-hearted.What he feels for me is only habit.Do not misunderstand him…"
Love me?
The pain in my abdomen clenched like a fist.My legs nearly gave out,and a wave of nausea surged up with the overwhelming irritation.
"Enough,"I said,my voice gone cold as winter frost."Rosalind,who exactly are you performing for?"
I yanked my hand back.I barely used any force.
But in that instant,her body went limp and she tipped backward.
"Ah!"
Her shriek split the stairwell open.
I froze for a fraction of a second,then reached for her on instinct.My fingertips grazed her sleeve,but she was already falling.Weightlessness seized me.Rosalind's grip dragged me down with her.
The world flipped.
My back,my elbows,my knees slammed against the hard stone edges of each step,over and over and over.
Thud.
I hit the ground floor hard.My vision went black.
Then I heard footsteps,fast and frantic,pounding down the stairs.
"Lyra!"
Dorian's voice.He came tearing down the steps,his stride uneven,more rattled than I had ever heard him.
Through blurred vision,I saw him reach me.
But before he could get close,a hand caught his sleeve.
"Dorian…"Rosalind's voice,thin as thread."I lost my footing.It was not her fault.She grabbed for me and got pulled down too…Go check on her first.She fell harder than I did…"
Dorian's movement stuttered.
He had been about to come to me.But that pause was all it took.His eyes landed on Rosalind's disheveled state instead.Her collar had shifted,exposing the marks he had left on her skin the night before.
His throat bobbed.
I thought,even if Dorian had no conscience at all,he would at least check on me first.I was with pup.I had just tumbled down an entire flight of stone stairs.
He did not.
I watched him gather Rosalind into his arms.Careful.Gentle.Like she was something precious and breakable.
