I was rinsing my face when the cottage door swung open without warning.
My heart slammed against my ribs.Before I could react,a familiar force pinned me against the wall.Dorian's scent crashed over me,and then his mouth was on mine.
The instant I remembered he had kissed Rosalind the same way just moments ago,my stomach turned and I shoved at his chest.He caught my wrists,his grip impossible to break.
"Why did you hand all your keys to Rosalind?"he demanded,his voice low and rough."I thought you would at least put up a fight."
I stared at him,the irony of the situation almost funny."Is that not what you wanted?We broke off the courtship.Giving your betrothed the keys to your den seems straightforward enough."
Something flickered behind his eyes,a trace of guilt he could not quite hide,and his tone softened."I told you,it is all an act.There is nothing between Rosalind and me.If there were,it would have happened a long time ago.Just be good for a little while longer.Everything that is yours will still be yours.You will always be my mate,and the pup will always be my heir."
If not for the jasmine oil clinging to his skin—Rosalind's scent,so thick I could almost taste it—I might have actually believed him.
I did not bother explaining anymore.I just nodded,going through the motions.
Dorian wanted to tend to the cut on the back of my hand.I felt too wretched to resist.His touch was surprisingly gentle.When I flinched,he instinctively blew on the wound,the way he had done a hundred times before,as if nothing had changed between us.I watched his profile,and my heart clenched before I could stop it.It reminded me of the carriage ride home from the orphan pack,when he had dabbed ointment on my scrapes with the same quiet care.
Then his soulstone messenger glowed.
Rosalind's voice came through the crystal,trembling on the edge of tears."Dorian…I feel awful,I am so dizzy…Where did you go?I am scared being alone here…"
His fingers tightened visibly,pressing harder against my wound without realizing it.I sucked in a sharp breath.He did not notice.
"I am out,"he said into the crystal,his voice calm and steady."Just picking up some Moon Dew Elixir for you."
Rosalind's voice turned small,cautious."Did you…go see Lyra?"
Dorian did not miss a beat."No.I am on my way back to you now."
It was spring,but I felt cold down to my bones.The part of me that had softened moments ago now felt pathetic.Rosalind was the one who received every ounce of his tenderness.How did I still not understand that?To him,I was no different from an obedient pet.I had loved Dorian.But I needed love that was mine alone,not scraps tossed my way out of obligation.
The cut on my hand had split open again from the pressure,fresh blood seeping through.I could not tell which hurt more—my hand or my heart.
He hung up the connection and seemed to remember I existed."Lyra,just hang on a few more days.Once this is over,we will swear the oath on the Moon Altar."
I said nothing.
A few more days.Then I would never have to endure this again.
Dorian was about to leave when my own soulstone messenger buzzed against my hip.A reminder from the High Priestess's hall glowed on the crystal surface,confirming tomorrow's Moon Purification Rite.
His gaze drifted over to it.His brow creased,slowly."Why are you going to the High Priestess?Did you not just go a few days ago?"
Until I was truly gone,I did not want to stir up trouble.I kept my voice as steady as I could manage."The moon-sickness has been quite severe lately.I am going to the Priestess Hall to have it examined."
Dorian visibly froze for a second,as if it had only just occurred to him that he had not spared a single thought for his pregnant mate's wellbeing these past few days.Something uneasy flickered in his eyes,and he hesitated,half-considering whether to stay.
But the next second,another whisper from Rosalind lit up his soulstone,urging him to hurry back.That sliver of hesitation crumbled like it had never existed.
"Then go back to the den and rest,"he said,tossing the instruction over his shoulder."Do not stay out overnight."
He was gone from the cottage before the words had fully left his mouth.His choice did not surprise me.I was used to it by now.
But I did need to go back to the Darkmoor den.My personal scrolls and my identity tokens were still there,and I would need them for tomorrow's rite with the High Priestess.
The next morning,when Elder Hilda led me through the ironwood gates of the Darkmoor estate,I stopped dead in my tracks.
In barely half a day,the place I had called home for years had been gutted.The matching wolf statuettes that used to stand on the entry table were gone.The fur rug beside the hearth,the one Dorian and I had chosen together from the northern traders,had been swapped for something new and unfamiliar.The ceremonial tapestry on the wall,the one we had woven months ahead of schedule to celebrate our upcoming oath,had vanished without a trace.
Even knowing what I knew,my chest seized before I could stop it.I forced the feeling down and headed for the stairs.
That was when the smell hit me.Acrid.Burning.I followed it toward the back courtyard.
"Miss Fennwood,these things…they belong to the lady of the den,do they not?"Elder Marta's voice carried from somewhere nearby,laced with hesitation."Burning them does not seem right…"
Rosalind's reply came laced with undisguised malice."Lady of the den?Get your facts straight,old wolf.I am the future Luna of this family.This junk was an eyesore.So what if I burned it?"
My mind went white.I did not think.I simply ran toward the courtyard.
Firelight danced against the black stone.A pile of belongings had been thrown into a bonfire,already half-consumed by flames.I recognized them instantly—the Den Mother's things.The woman who had raised me at the orphan pack.Her keepsakes.Her last traces on this earth.
I lost my mind.I lunged at the fire without a second thought,my bare hands reaching straight into the flames.
"Lyra,are you insane?!"Rosalind stumbled back a step,startled by my sudden appearance.
I did not spare her a single glance.Fire seared my skin,the pain boring down to the bone,but I could not feel it.I clawed everything I could reach out of the blaze,dragging it free with both hands.Blisters rose instantly across my palms.I gritted my teeth and smothered the remaining flames with my own body,shaking so hard I could barely stay upright.
When I finally looked up,my eyes were raw and burning."What is wrong with you,Rosalind?Why would you burn my things?"
Rosalind stared down at me from where she stood,untouched by fire or consequence."They were an eyesore,so I burned them.Besides,who knows if this junk from some orphan pack is even clean?What if it carries diseases?"
One breezy sentence,and she had insulted both me and the woman who had raised me in a single breath.The last thread holding me together snapped.
I swung my arm and struck her across the face with everything I had left.The force knocked Rosalind sideways.She opened her mouth to curse at me,but a voice cut through first,sharp as a silver blade.
"Lyra,what in the Moon Goddess's name are you doing?!"
Dorian's voice cracked through the air like a whip.He stormed across the courtyard and shoved me away without a heartbeat of hesitation.I staggered backward,nearly falling into the still-smoldering fire pit.
He was already pulling Rosalind into his arms."Why did you hit her?"His face was terrifyingly dark,his eyes flashing with something close to hatred.
My voice broke."She burned the Den Mother's things!"
Dorian knew better than anyone what those keepsakes meant to me.He knew the Den Mother had been the closest thing to a mother I had ever had.In that moment,I still believed that just this once,he would take my side.
But Dorian only frowned,his tone clipped with impatience."It is just some old junk.Rosalind thought it was trash and cleaned it out.She meant well.Why would you hit her over that?"
My heart stopped.
Right on cue,Rosalind's eyes reddened,her voice going soft and wounded."I am sorry,Lyra.I truly did not know those things meant so much to you…I was just worried they might not be clean.I did not want Dorian to catch any sickness from them…"
"You do not need to apologize,"Dorian cut her off,his voice hard as iron."If anyone owes an apology,it is her."
He turned to me,and his gaze went cold."Lyra.Apologize to Rosalind.Now."
There is no grief greater than a dead heart.
I stared at the man in front of me,hollow with disappointment.He looked like a stranger."I will not apologize,"I said,each word falling from my lips like frozen stone."I did nothing wrong.She did it on purpose.If you do not believe me,ask Elder Marta."
Elder Marta nodded quickly,her aged face pale with distress."It is true,my lord.Miss Thornfield,she—"
Dorian cut her off without even looking."A servant's word means nothing."
"Randolph,my face hurts so much…"Rosalind's tears spilled instantly.She cupped her cheek,sucking in a delicate,pained breath.
His expression hardened further."Since these things are causing this much trouble,"he said,bending down to pick up the fire starter from the ground,"then I will get rid of them for good.Maybe then you will stop acting like a moon-cursed lunatic."
The flame snapped back to life with a sharp pop.
Every muscle in my body locked.I could not move.I could not breathe.
"Dorian,what are you doing?!"The scream tore out of me raw,and I threw myself toward the fire.But he caught me from behind,his arms clamping around me like iron shackles.
I thrashed against him,my voice cracking apart."I was wrong…I was wrong,all right…I will apologize.I am sorry.I am sorry.Just put out the fire,please?I am begging you,Dorian!"
This was the first time I had ever broken down like this.The first time I had begged him on my knees.
Something clenched in Dorian's chest.His grip loosened,just barely.I seized that split second,wrenched myself free,and threw my body into the flames.
Fire licked up my arms.The pain went past sharp into a strange,distant numbness.But in the end,the only thing I managed to pull out was a silver-plated watch,blackened beyond recognition.I knelt on the ground,hollowed out,like someone had reached inside me and scooped out everything that had made me whole.
The sounds around me faded to nothing.I did not register anything until Dorian hauled me to my feet.
He looked at me,and for one fleeting instant,regret flashed through his eyes—the recognition that he had gone too far.But then his gaze landed on Rosalind's swollen cheek,and that flicker of regret vanished as cleanly as if it had never been there.
"Let this be a lesson to you,"he said,his voice cold."Now you will know what is acceptable and what is not.You are supposed to be the future Lady of the Darkmoor pack.You cannot go around striking people like some common feral wolf."
I did not want to hear another word.I just stared at him,my eyes bloodshot,looking at him the way you look at an enemy.
The look cut him.He flinched and glanced away.Then the flinch curdled into anger at my defiance."You still do not think you were wrong?"
He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the bedchamber we used to share,locking the heavy ironwood door behind him."Then sit in here and cool off!"
I could not fight him.All I could do was stand there,trapped,the scorched watch still clutched in my blistered hand.My eyes burned.But not a single tear would come.
